No work today- Easter Monday. I slept in- it was great. Then I had some breakfast and went for a walk on the MK trail across the street. It was a nice little nature walk- and the best part was the sense of adventure. Everyone needs a little adventure. I saw a little trail that went off into the woods, so I went to it. The paved part of the trail ended after about 10 feet, a little circle with a plaque and a few benches. Somewhat disappointing, until I saw the unpaved trail off into the woods.

I took it.

Where will it take me? How far does it go? Where will it end up?

I didn't know- that made me happy. I tried to think of the last time I took a trail to which I didn't know the end. I think it was in India- discounting that failed attempt to see 'Car Henge' in Kansas last summer. Well, there was also that creepy yarn store . . . ok so I take a lot of trails into the wilderness.

The MK trail was quite nice, for a time I could hear, but not see the road beyond the trees. I turned and was alone in the woods. I used to walk in the woods with my brother. We would wander for hours picking up rocks and sticks and acorns and pinecones; putting them in our pockets only to forget about them- causing our mother to wonder at the fact her children were trying to bring home the forest in their small pockets. Growing up in Pennsylvania, I have a strict idea of a 'forest.' So, today it was not a forest, not when you can hear the road and see building through the trees, but for a time I could imagine it was-

The wind was blowing heavily through the tree tops and occasionally against my face and the lower branches. The leaves are new and the ground vegetation is sweet and green. Later in this Texas summer everything will turn brown and brittle, but spring in TX is summer in PA. The wild flowers are just blooming, their long stems reaching up to the sunshine.

I walked for about 40 minutes, sporadically coming across a sign "--> Coon Crossing" mixed in with "I am the way" "the truth" and further down the trail, "and the LIFE." I walked until I felt it might rain, I might have walked on for hours or more if I stayed to the trail, and I had some other things planned for the day. When I got off the trail I came to some apartments and some motor homes. This, I believe, is the back of the Wycliff campus. It took about 10 minutes to walk to the front of the campus on the road. I met some little dogs and an old man on the road and we visited like we all knew each other.

It's good to have a day off and a walk in the woods.

After the walk I came in for a rest, ran some errands and started reading about American history in an attempt to prep for a teaching certification test.

I read about the War Between the States and considered how the world would be different if Lincoln had said, "Fine, be your own country!" I thought about those confederate graves I saw in Philadelphia and some other confederates I've met along the way, which put me in the mind of eating some popcorn.

Later I watched some TV and worked on finishing my latest knitting project, which to be honest I'm ready to be quit of, having the attention span of a gnat.

It was a good day.

I finished a doll this weekend. She’s sort of Sally-Nightmare-Before-Christmas-style. She’s got sad eyes and purposefully showing stitches on her hair. Uh- it seemed like a good idea at the time. I realized after I was done that I shouldn’t have done that, as well as that one of the eyes was on upside down hence the sadness . . . These are the trials of doll makers, at least inept doll makers. It does make me want to try it again this time with happy eyes and not-so-Frankenstein-hair.

It’s kind of cloudy in my apartment- I got a little too excited about my ‘Smoking Penguin’ humidifier.

There are egg shells in the bathroom trash- as that is where I cooked the eggs. I have a kitchen/bathroom, which is awkward to say the least. I believe my efficiency would be more efficient if it even pretended to have a kitchenette. I have a standard fridge, a microwave, a toaster oven an electric griddle, and a rice maker. The sink and the most convenient counter space is in the bathroom. It does encourage one to keep it clean- all the time.

Today was the first day of spring. The snow is melting- this winter was crazy! Although, the weather people say there will be lots of bluebonnets on account of all the rain and snow.

I finished DEB’s birthday llama. The hand was a big hit (for some, for others it was just another crazy thing.)

I’m currently working on finishing some PSPs (previously started projects.) Since I finished the doll with such fabulous success-(cough)- I’m now working on Sack Boy. Head, arms, legs- done, body in the works- improvised mouth, sewing together and embellishments to go.

I would make a statement about what I might finish next, but let’s face it, most likely I’ll not be in the mood for finishing any other PSPs after Sack Boy.

. . . Sponge pudding sounds bad enough, but- now they are just making up stuff

I've never been to a Moraccan Bazaar, but I've been to bazaars in other developing countries, and believe me, you do not want your house to smell like raw fish, rotting meat, sweaty men, livestock and fried food (and flowers)

Carnaval- it must smell differnt from Marti Gras- which smells like vomit, alcohol and BO

Other products I've questioned:

Jarred Woopy!

I think that's racist

I know I shouldn't be surprised by anything I find at Wal-mart, but when I saw this magazine- I thought, 'is that really necessary?'

I got a teaching job.  It's almost the same hours as the last job, but at 1/3 the pay I'm just going to pretend it's part time.  It's a small vocational college in Dallas.  I guess they just started this esl program.  Their literature says they have six levels, but it looks like only two to me. 

Somebody quit at the last minute and I got her job.  Strangely familiar.  That's how I got my last job.  It's not alot of work, and I figured I can start my alternative certification while I'm working there.  Along with the unemployment money I'm getting I'm almost up to half wages! (yes I can work and get unemployment at the same time, it's because I'm only working part time and at a much decreased wage) 

I'm going to go look at a tiny appartment today.  It's kind of interesting to be poor- it presents challenges that more people should be prepared to undertake.

I had a weird dream last night- it didn't make any sense, and I don't think I'm supposed to get any realization from it.  Everytime I woke up, I went back to the same dream, which if nothing else was amusing.

I dreamed Dorian was giving some kind of presentation in a mansion.  I don't know if it was a discovery, invention or  informative.  In any event I went with Flossie.  (These are both people I haven't seen in many years)- after the presentation, I left, Flossie stayed to flirt with Dorian.  Dorian left Flossie at the mansion.  He came  to kidnap me and bring me back.  I didn't care about being kidnapped because I was tired, or drugged, or Dorian just wasn't threatening enough to concern me, but it was definatly more of a kidnapping than an invitation. 

When we got back we all (Dorian, Flossie and I) had dinner with his parents.  His parents, however, were actually the Marrses.  After dinner Dorian and I were talking and he told me his name was Japanese and it meant 'three men laying in the bottom of a boat.'  Um . . . ok.  I was skeptical in the dream too.

that's it
weird

I'm going through my old files on my computer- actually I was looking for a picture of a cross stitch sampler I saw online once- don't know what brought that up, but in any event, while I was searching I decided to organize and I found this list.  I can't figure out if I ever posted it, so I'm posting, perhaps again just to be sure.

Random List:

1. When I was a child I was afraid of toilets with black seats and the funnel of water which appears when the water is let out of the tub.


2. Also as a child I was firmly convinced of these things: a. I was born with a bandage on my head b. Dracula ate my Mickey Mouse ring c. I had the ability to hover. I’m still pretty sure Dracula ate my Mickey Mouse ring.

3. I once went to Greece for the weekend.

4. I’ve never been to a funeral of any one I know.

5. I don’t like most kinds of meat, or anything that is pretending to be like meat.

6. I don’t like any food which has been artificially purpled.

7. I don’t eat wiggly deserts.

8. I had to explain what ejaculation was in class yesterday- to a pregnant woman.

9. I was once told I was worth 2,000 camels- seems like a come-on to me.

10. Between 2000-2001 I was accused of being a spy, a smuggler, a bomber and a member of the CIA- deny- deny- deny-deny.

11. I routinely blame the oddities of English grammar on other languages “It’s because this word if French . . .”

12. I was once French kissed by a French man in France.

13. I started knitting a sweater five years ago . . . it’s mostly done . . . (I decided to take it all out and try something new)

14. Ever since I got my nose pierced I have felt I have free reign to pick my nose.

15. I know how to say “Go away fat cow” in Norwegian.

16. I sold Dana Carvey 2 dozen tulips, but I didn’t know it was him until he signed the receipt.

17. When asked by a job interviewer why I thought I was qualified to do the job I said, “Well . . . I’m not stupid.” I got the job.

18. I was almost named Mavis- until my grandmother convinced my mother that it sounded like a female truck driver.

19. Over the course of the year I lived in an upscale section of a large city in India, I saw dogs, cats, chickens, cows, horses, sheep, goats, elephants and one toothless bear in my neighborhood.

20. I once witnessed 16 people get out of a 5 passenger car. They were not wearing big shoes or red noses.

21. My favorite ice cream is Ben and Jerry’s “Chubby Hubby.”

22. I habitually take pictures of signs and other oddities that amuse me- I always have a camera with me.

23. I’m the normal one in my family.

24. According to my astrological chart I am Virgo sun sign, Virgo moon sign, and Virgo ascendant sign. I secretly think I am a Pisces.

25. I spent a week in Scotland imagining every old man sitting behind me on the bus was really Sean Connery.

I went to the National Archives today. It wasn't exactly what I expected, but I did only go to the visitor's center. I was thinking it would be a very large research library with some records I could touch and some that were only for professional fingers in gloves and what not.

I saw some letters written by George Washington, Abe Lincoln etc. They seem to be the most important presidents to speak of around. There were some baby pictures of former presidents- and a video of George W. when he was a baby- kinda cute. There were some old birth records, pretty cool looking. And of course the most important things were the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. The Declaration wasn't looking so good. The lights are very dim to maintain the documents, but considering even that the ink was very faded. The Constitution was looking much more robust.

There were some rent-a-cops standing around looking bored. I had my doubts about the authenticity of those documents. Would they really put those valuable documents under a piece of glass and let anybody walk in and terrorize them? Let's face it the terrorists are pretty sneaky. The guards did make me lift up my pants legs to be sure I wasn't concealing scissors in my socks when I went in. Maybe they are more diligent than they look.

Across the street from the National Archives is the National Sculpture Garden. To be honest I've been pretty impressed with this city, but something was certainly lacking from the National Sculpture Garden. There was an ice skating rink- kinda cool, there was a set of six stone chairs that were alright, the giant spider- sounds cooler than it was, the giant type writer eraser- well I didn't even know what it was- and I'm old so I should know. I imagine younger folks just think it is some random thingy-majig. The best thing for sure was the steel tree.

While in the Sculpture Garden I saw a chubby little squirrel.  It was looking so cute, and I thought about the chubby little birds I had seen yesterday.  I was thinking about other things that were chubby and cute as I walked toward the Museum of Natural History when I saw another cute, chubby little squirrel on the sidewalk.


He looked at me expectantly- I told him I didn't have any food.  I told him outloud, which may have been why the guy walking down the side walk turned and looked at me, not really like I was crazy but more like he thought something funny was about to happen.  I stopped on the sidewalk to take off my bag to get my camera out.  The squirrel came a little closer.  I had my hand in my bag when the squirrel started climbing up my leg. 


I screamed.  The guy on the side walk turned to look at me from about 50 feet away- he was safe.  A woman was walking toward me, she said, "Oh, be careful, they bite."  I said, "AHHH!  It's crawling on me!"  I was flashing through all kinds of bad squirrel scenerios- squirrel bite, squirrel in my bag, squirrel in my jacket, squirrel on my head . . .


I stood very still and the squirrel saw I was more useless than a tree and jumped back to the grass. 

I took a few steps, and thought, "Well, I might as well get the picture now"- and he started coming at me again!  That little demon squirrel!  I told him to back off- took a few more step away, snapped this picture and got out of there quick.


When I got back my friend asked me how it was, I said, "It was really good except for that incident with the squirrel."

I've rediscovered why I decided to not talk too much. People who talk a lot tend to sound so dumb-opinionated, prejudiced, over proud, ignorant, dogmatic.
I have been known to be overly critical.
So I say a lot of dumb things- yeah we all do at times. But I've heard so many dumb things repeated this trip. I just think- really? Sounds like pride in these words of dumb.
"I don't care about history, politics or current events." Ok- some people don't, but they should at least be a little embarrassed to say it out loud.
"I don't want my daughter to marry her black boy friend because I want my grandchildren to look like me."
"Traveling in America is so boring, everyone speaks English."
"Spanish isn't worth learning, everyone in Texas speaks it."
"American English is broken."
Among others-
Not repeated, but a long conversation revolving around:
"I'm pretty smart and athletic- I will marry a woman with mental and athletic prowess so that my children will be superior." Um- sure everyone wants their children to be pretty and smart, and they want to mate with someone who is like them in the things that are important to them, but maybe we don't need to talk about producing superior children to the general public- keep that thought on the inside, or if you want to let it out put it in the correct context. The idealism of this guy was off the charts- I do hope his children are perfect else his world crumble.
Even a fool can be thought wise if he doesn't open his mouth.

I thought she might be an elderly street walker when I saw her come in on the first night. She was wearing white boots, brown stockings, a short black skirt and a white jacket. She changed into her jeans to sleep.

I’ve seen her with a phone to her ear, but I’ve never heard her speak.

Her hair is platinum blonde- helmet perfect- under tucked with combs. She’s painfully thin- what does one politely call that in a woman? Slender, slight – these sound too willowy, supple- too young lithe. She’s bone dry. She only wears black and white. She doesn’t make eye contact. She doesn’t speak. She isn’t spoken to. She doesn’t use the house linen. She has a plastic sheet over her bed. She sleeps on it, always completely clothed. She uses her own blanket and covers her head when she sleeps. Her hair is still perfect when she emerges. She has a duffle bag which looks to weigh more than she does. She’s tall.

Maybe she is sad.

Greg said she was not without graces- she had been practicing her moves in the common room before she set off to a soirée at the French Embassy. She had asked him how he thought she should approach dignitaries.

Maybe there’s a body in that duffle. Maybe she’s a spy. DC has the most spies of any city in the world.

She’s a woman of mystery.

The other one- she’s no mystery at all. If you give her a glance she will tell you everything she knows in English, French and Spanish. Unfortunately, she doesn’t seem to know ever so much other than those languages.

Mysteries are so much better for one’s imagination.

Yesterday in the nunnery one sister asked how old I was. When I told another sister said, "Oh, you're the same age as our Superior General." (the boss-nun) She sounded very surprised at this bit of news. She said¸ "It's not because you look older." (Does she mean I do look older or I don't look older?) She said, "OH! That didn't sound right, it's just the maturity level isn't the same . . . no that's not right either really I mean . . . I'll just stop talking, that's better."

So am I to interpret that as I'm old an immature? From a nun? Nuns don't lie.

In other new- my travel companion told an environmentalist today that she didn't care about the state of our rivers and lakes because she was more concerned about his relationship with God. When the environmentalist said he has a relationship with God my traveler said, "that's good, but a relationship with God is free (while the saving the lakes and rivers required cash.) I'm not going to ask for any money and you can have this (tract)." He took the "Bridge of Life" and said, "Yeah, that's great, unfortunately, saving our environment requires getting the attention of politicians and big business, which requires funds." My companion: "I don't care about that, this world is not eternal." The environmentalist smiled and said thank you.

I sort of felt like apologizing for the attack of the world killing Christian.

He did better than I would have in his situation. I'm for spreading the Word- not for making people feel attacked, not for discounting things that should be important to us, not for neglecting to listen and make relationship with people before we start discussing life altering believe systems, values and life styles, not for shoving little booklets at people and expecting them to care.

This is why I wasn't a good missionary. I'm for building relationship and trust. I'm for asking before lecturing. I'm for listening. I'm for talking about life, religion, ecology, economy or whatever another believes in to understand more about how to proceed. I'm for the long term.

I gave a Bible to one of my students this Christmas. I've known her for more than a year. We've talked about everything. Maybe she will read it. Maybe she won't. I don't know. If she has questions, she knows she can ask me.

If I were that environmentalist standing on a cold windy street corner asking for money from strangers and somebody verbally attacked me, told me (when you get right down to it) my cause was worthless, shoved a tract at me and not listened when I said I was already in relationship, I would have given the tract back, reminded that person of the responsibility we have been given to be good stewards, and been pissed off the rest of the day. Not that that last bit would do any good for anyone, including God.

I didn't say anything. I still have four more days to be with this person- I don't need any conflict.

 

Day two at the convent- today all the nuns went to work and Lis and I were left alone. There was an unexpected schedule change and the Sister we have come to visit has had to spend the majority of her time at school. That is unfortunate, but also good to have some quiet time.

Today I got up around 9:00. I had some breakfast, checked email, posted the short blog. L and I went to the grave yard across the street and checked it out. There isn’t any snow, but it is quite cold, about 28 degrees. It is the yard of a beautiful old church founded in 1772.

I saw lots of very old graves, most of them so worn I couldn’t read the information. There was one monument which was quite nice and well kept. I don’t know how old it was, but it was a set of brothers. All three were born in the Philadelphia area, but all had died in the south at the time of the Civil War. One was a plantation owner in LA, one died in battle in GA and another died in battle in TN. The brother who died in TN was a CSA officer. The monument said the brothers were together and in agreement in life and death. It made me think they were all CSA soldiers. It made me wonder how old that monument was, and if there had been animosity in the family with three brothers fighting for the south. Obviously some family had stayed in PA as well, so what friends and church members thought about CSA soldiers being brought back or at least memorialized here. It seems with so many men dead there would have been some bitterness- but then, with so much tragedy at the time, maybe people were too weary to be bitter any more.

After the church yard we went for a short walk, we stopped and had Chinese food. Authentic Philly-Chinese food . . . well there was the consideration of a Philly-cheese steak sandwich, but for me it would have just been a Philly cheese sandwich- and I image that causes the situation to lose some of its mystique- or whatever.

The Philly cheese steak place was also advertising ‘crab cake hoagies.’ L said ‘Crabcake Hoagie’ sounded like a villain. I thought it sounded more like a pirate (which could also be a villain.) For the rest of the day I was tickled by the idea of a silly looking pirate sailing the seas (and rivers) and pillaging the Philly-cheese-steak-shops . . . ARRR!
When finished with lunch L suggested a ‘rousing nap time.’ I laughed. I don’t usually take naps- but today I did- and it was fabulous- so I decided I could easily slip into the ‘unemployed and loving it’ life-style. Too bad for me I don’t have more people to mooch off of.

This evening was the celebration dinner for one of the Sisters’ 75th birthday. She is apparently a work-a-holic. I didn’t even see her until the dinner stated. They said, “Sr. John, have you met Shannon and L?” She said, “Yeah-yeah- Shannon’s sitting next to me.” When in fact we had not met and I was not sitting next to her. But when you are a 75 year old nun most people just let you say what you want.

It seems Sr. John didn’t want to have a birthday party, so the other Sisters had to plan it for her as a surprise. She was real crabby when she found out more than just the other sisters of the convent would be there and she said, “I didn’t want you to do this because I don’t want what happened five years ago to happen again!” We asked what happened five years ago, but nobody was talking. I expect it involved a lot of alcohol because this 75 year old nun got three bottles of wine and a bottle of Captain Morgan for her birthday.
Over the course of the dinner I learned a few bad words in Polish and a few more in Arabic.

Nuns can be so enlightening.

After dinner we cleaned up and had a prayer time. It was nice- lots of responsive reading type things- we sang a song with the tune of “A Mighty Fortress is Our God” but different words. One of the Sisters (the one who wears Doc Martians) told me about some of the Sisters of her order who had been executed during WWII. I guess I hadn’t thought about Catholics been persecuted and executed, but it seems it was a pretty common practice.
Finally we watched a few episodes of ‘The Cake Boss’ and the news then went to bed. So- off to bed I go, I’m only up now because of the nap.

So- at the convent things are not as a Protestant might have imagined.

1. The nuns were sitting around in their sweats watching NCIS.
2. The Mother Superior is very young- she offered me a beer.
3. The office computer has a dragon, surrounding a ying-yang- backed by flames, which glow when the computer is on.
4. There is a framed poster on the wall that says "Work fascinates me. I can stare at it for hours."

more on that later

Post Christmas visit in CO

I have a student in class who always answers yes/no questions with "Sometimes yes, but sometimes no." Today they are taking a final exam. All the questions are yes/no. He's having a hard time.

Last night at about 12:30 I decided that I needed to start knitting a starfish. Lucky for me I had a pattern of a starfish on hand. At 2:00 I decided that I had to stop knitting the star fish for what seems like obvious reasons.

Sometimes I worry about my impulses.

The other day I decided I must have scrambled eggs. The problem is that I make terrible scrambled eggs. They are always too dry or too wet or too crumbly or over spiced, not fluffy enough- in the past I would concede to my terrible scrambled egg making skills and just go to Denny's. That day, however, I decided I could not let scrambled eggs bring me down. So I did some research (online of course) and found my new friend, Mr. Breakfast. He told me how to make perfect scrambled eggs.
I tried it- it worked. Now, if only I can remember that simple bit of wisdom the next time I decide I must have scrambled eggs.

perfect scrambled eggs

http://www.youtube.com/user/slackistanthemovie#p/a

In the life of this blog there have been 925 postings. Maybe I should work on hitting 1000 before 2010.

Eeh.

So- I lost my job yeah? Really bad timing in that most schools don't hire until fall. That leaves many moons of nobody hiring. Well, at least nobody in the USA.

I got a call at 6 this morning. (My time, surely some more godly hour at the point of origination, which was Gaziantep, Turkey.)

I'd never heard of Gaziantep before last week when I got an email saying they were looking for a Business English teacher. Seems I'm all out of the world city scene as several other people I mentioned it to said, "oh uh-huh" when I said it. They were probably faking it.

I don't know why exactly, but I have become an 'Business English' teacher. As if I knew anything about business- but it is a niche and here am I to fill it.

I talked to the Dean of the Business school and the Director of the English Language program of Zirve University.

They asked me what questions I had for them- Uh- 6:00 AM- I'm not sure I'd have questions for God at 6:00 AM, but I was trying really hard to think of something and to sound like I had been dead asleep a second ago.

While talking to one co-worker she asked if I asked about class size expectations, and if there were western toilets and copy machines on campus. Well, heck, I knew I should have made a list of things to ask. Although I'm pretty sure the second question would not have appeared on my list . . .


Turkey- Buzz likes the sound of that. I'm not sure yet.

click to see larger map.
Gaziantep is south, not far from the Syrian boarder.

Now if this university were in Batman, Turkey this would not even be an issue. I would already have my ticket in hand.

Our boss called us into a meeting in the middle of the workday Friday to let us know we were all fired, including himself.

Happy Thanksgiving! Have a great vacation! You've so graciously been given 4 weeks notice. Can't tell you why. Ta!

"Though the fig tree does not bud and ther are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails and the field produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior."Habakkuk 3:17-18

Native English-speaking teacher/animal trainer

We are recruiting a native English-speaking teacher/animal trainer to work as part of an EU-funded zoo-preschool project at the Magdeburg Zoo.
You will be part of the world's first zoo with direct connections to a bilingual preschool located directly on zoo premises. Your English-language activities will serve to teach German-speaking preschool children between the ages of 3 and 6 about animal habitats and the care of animals.
Seriously?!

Also considering moving to Siberia.

It was a bad week. It started alright I guess. My co-worker and I bought tickets to take a trip to Philly/DC over our Winter Break. We are off to a nunnery and other places to be sure. On Wednesday I went to a program graduation- chit chatted with the former students and co-workers. I realized at some point on Wednesday that I had forgotten my phone at home.

Over the summer TX DOT opened an exit one exit before my exit. My exit is 161 N. The new exit is 161 S. Sometimes if I'm not really thinking about it, and sometimes even when I am thinking about I take the first exit, which is not my exit. This wouldn't irritate me so much if 161 S. wasn't a toll road. I have to pay 57 cents (or something crazy like that) to get on, and again to get back off. That's one exit, turn around get back on. There's no other way to get back to my place without paying the toll twice. It's not a big deal, just annoying.

Wednesday night after the graduation it was getting kind of cool, in the low 50s. I took the wrong exit. I had taken the wrong exit the day before and payed the toll twice, and I didn't want to do it again, so I decided to go across the median. The median is pretty small, maybe about 10-12 feet across, level. There were tire tracks, looked like lots of people made my same mistake, but maybe they weren't driving Priuses.

I drive a Prius. (What does your car sound like? Mine sounds like . . . mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm When it's stuck in the mud between the highway and the wrong exit is sounds like . . . mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm)

Now, that 25 year old Z sitting in my parking lot would not have been stuck. It sounds like RRRRRRRoooMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. I wasn't driving the Z.

I looked for my phone to call Pudding. I didn't have it. I could have sworn I put it in my purse that morning. But, no fear. Inexplicably I have two cell phones. I was carrying the one I never use, which I usually leave at home. I picked it up, I called the number, it rang, the phone turned off. The battery was dead. But that's ok, I had the charger with me. Here's where it starts to break down.

The phone won't charge and turn on at the same time. It has to be turned on before you start charging if you want to use it while it is charging. So, I plugged it in to start charging, but the car has to be turned on for the phone to charge. Fine, but I saw on the console that the electric battery was completely depleted. Fine, except that I was also almost out of gas. So, if I turned on the car to charge the phone, it would use the gas engine, so by the time I made the phone call I might also be out of gas.

What it all came down to was pudding stopping to buy a tow rope, the police shutting down the exit and me getting extremely muddy. In the end all was well- except that the inside and outside of my poor little car and my shoes are covered in mud.

When I got home I found the other phone, in the other purse which I had just transfer ed everything else out of before I left that morning.

I finished the white elephant, and her leg warmers, and her beret. Tonight I nearly finished a Christmas stocking. I'm on a finishing kick- next I want to finish a penguin. It's kind of an ugly penguin, but super simple. I'm making it to see if it really is as easy as it looks to be. (Kinda like why I made the elephant.) After the penguin I'm considering finishing a mermaid or a tiny hand towel.

I'm currently wearing a moo-moo (or is it mu-mu?) I just looked it up- seems either 'moo-moo' or 'muu-muu' is acceptable.

As for why I'm wearing a moo-moo. I'll tell you- it was all the rage in my neighborhood in India, additionally I just found it in my closet. It's really really comfortable. Wow. Impressive.

To bad it's so very ugly. It's sort of like a table cloth, folded in half, seemed up the sides (holes left for arms) and another hole for my head. There is a drawstring belt, but the drawstring has been lost . . .

It is dark blue with a white batik design down the front and back center, repeated on each side and around the arm holes.

While it does make me feel like an India house wife, I'm way too lazy to start slapping my laundry on rocks.

On facebook I was tagged to make a list of 15 movies in 15 minutes. 15 movies that made an impression on me. These are the ones I thought of. Most of them are comedies or kids movies . . . what does that say about me?

Amelie
Bubble boy
Children of Heaven
Finding Nemo
Finding Neverland
Lilo and Stitch
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
Napoleon Dynamite
Out of Africa
Princess Bride
Return to Me
Schindler’s List
So I Married an Ax Murder
The Red Violin
Zoolander

It's not really my fault. I saw a dauchshund in a manger in a cartoon and I couldn't unsee it. One thing led to another . . .

Now I'm working on a white elephant. It's a pretty cool pattern- the whole elephant is made in one piece (talking about knitting of course) then folded up to make the elephant shape. I had white yarn- three small balls of the same brand white yarn. Unfortunatly I can clearly see where I began each ball of yarn- strange. Also unfortunate is the fact that this elephant has some crazy long legs. It's like a daddy-long-legs-phant. I figured I'd make her some leg warmers and a beret and tell people she's a dancer.

Psalm 1
BOOK I : Psalms 1-41
1 Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.

2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

3 He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.

4 Not so the wicked!
They are like chaff
that the wind blows away.

5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

6 For the LORD watches over the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.

When I'm feeling blue I read about Evil Popes. I don't know what the correlation is. I bought a book called A Dark History: The Popes Vice, Murder, and corruption in the Vatican for myself for my birthday. Since that time I've been blue enough to get to page 65. The writting is terrible, but the illustrations are quite nice.

It seems the popes of old were terrible fellows. No wonder Martin Luther protested.

I'm only now to Pope Gregory IX (1231)- who intruduced an inquisition against the Cathars. The Cathars remind me of the Latter Day Saints- kinda Kookie and theologically-off the Christian rocker, but not bad people.

I found out one of my students is an actor on a Mexican Soap Opera. He's a villain. it's hard to imagine- he just kind of goofy/cute guy in class.

hmmm- come to think of it they are all villains.

pooh- i think i have the flu

If I do have the flu at least it's mild (at the moment)
To console myself on my bad luck- I bought one single serving of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream, and some 'Air Borne' and some Tylenol cold and allergy. I think the ice cream helped the most.

I rarely watch the news, but it came on while I was sitting on the sofa feeling flu-like so I watched it. It seems some 'feral hogs' have been tormenting some home owners in Dallas. I didn't stay long enough to get the whole report. I did stay long enough to see a report on a 'tractor-trailer, a herd of cattle, a high powered rifle and a high (and sometimes slow) speed chase through Wise County' I'd say that has the elements of a fine Country and Western song.

It seems some young guy was on a ranch and high, he thought taking a joy ride in a loaded semi would be fun, so he stole a truck full of cows and drove through 4 or 5 cities between the speeds of 5-80mph. Finally the police got in front of him, waved everyone off the road and shot his tires out. He kept driving for 3 miles . . . he must have been really high.

More on the flu- one of my students said he was very sick over the weekend and now he felt "soft." He asked me what was the word for feeling "soft." The first word that came to my mind was 'flaccid' but that's not the way to describe how you feel when you are getting over being sick, so I told him 'droopy, limp, or lifeless'

Flaccid

Another of my favorite sentences:

Vocabulary : Rundown

"I met a people very cute and beautiful, but after three years she's run down."

The other day I got in my car and pushed my "start" button. It didn't start. I immediatly thought, 'Great- what do you do when a hybrid doesn't start? It's not like you can ask your neighbhor for a jump- we'd all be electricuted.' So-- I pushed the button a few more times and wondered how I would get to work.

Before I remembered that I had AAA, I realized I hadn't put the key in the ignition.

I'm greatly looking forward to 5 days off for Thanksgiving. I'm feeling a little stressed with the sudden change of position. Did I mention I'm the Reading Instructor now?

Five students in a class of 13 told me they had never read a book before. In their lives- even in their own languages. That hurt my soul.

I'm knitting a shawl from some yarn I bought while I was in India. It is called 'sari silk' yarn. It is made from recycling the remnants of sari silk. This is one of the 'cottage industries' which are all over India and other underdeveloped countries. Usually women who have to support their families work at a craft house to supply trinkets, souvenirs and exports which represent their region or country.

There are many kinds of sari silk yarn, and it is, like many cottage industry products, all the rage in the West now. I bought two kinds, the fine spun and the rough spun. If I remember correctly the fine spun is done by machine and the rough spun by hand. The fine spun intertwines colors, the fibers are more uniform and the texture consistent. On the rough spun the colors don't gradually blend- they suddenly jump from chartreuse to orange to white, aqua, red, yellow (interlude forest green) ok orange again. The textures are many and there is really no uniformity in color, fiber, texture or tightness of the ravel.

So, with this second yarn I'm making a shawl. This shawl is in every way representative of India. The colors are blinding-combining in ways that are at the same time unsightly and amazing. It's awful but attractive. It looks old like it was made 100 years ago- at the same time impossibly- magically vibrant. It's made (and looks to be made) of rags, throw a ways, trash- but the feel of it, there is a satisfaction and luxury in the weight and texture of the silk.

These are the puzzles of India. The age, the beauty, the colors, the textures of life where rags and riches aren't separated- they live together-blending to make a whole which is blinding, unsightly, awful, amazing, vibrant, magic, amazing.

I think I need a samosa.

Apparently the new roach bate is delicious- Buzz keeps trying to eat it.

Great- now the dog is eating to roach bate and the roaches are eating the dog food.

Last night I had a funny dream.
I don't know what it was, but it was hilarious. I woke up thinking, "I wonder if I was smiling in my sleep." In my dream I was cracking up!
It was something about Danny Devito and Simon Baker (The guy from the TV show The Mentalist) a moustache and a Slurpee.
I don't know why those things were funny.

The roaches and I are at it again. I've taken on several new strategies- roach spray, powder, motels, hotels, creams, gels and lotions. Okay, no lotions, but there's probably one on the market.
Yesterday I bought "lemon scented Raid" "Kills on contact!" I was skeptical- but what the heck? It couldn't smell any worse than normal scented. To my surprise- lemon scented Raid really does smell lemony-good. The "kills on contact" is not quite true. It does kill them, but sometimes it takes a few sprays. I know I spray too much product- but I want to see them die before my very eyes- I don't want them slinking away to die- or maybe not die . . . So- I spray until they flip over and start kicking their tiny little death kick.

Much to the dog's dismay I have started vacuuming up roaches. I figure if I see one, there's more hiding where ever he came from, so I just leave the vacuum ready to suck them up to their deaths. I hope they die chocking and gasping for air-drowning in dust. I hope they don't just get in there and think, "hey cool! a nice dark place to copulate!" Then crawl out later when I'm not looking. I've seen no evidence of roach escape so far.

Buzz goes into fits every time I turn the vacuum on. He won't just go and hide as one might expect, he has to run around in circles and keep coming back to see where the vacuum is- then run away so it doesn't get him, then come back and check . . . I wonder if he's checking to see if I'm okay- maybe he's not just afraid of getting sucked up himself, but afraid that I might also get sucked up- I don't know what's going on in his little doggie brain.

So- I hate teaching modals- trying to explain why must, have to, have got to and had better are the same - but really different gives me a head ache.

Here's the only thing that perked the experiance up a bit- I had talked about using must for logical conclusions. Like, "You stayed up all night? You must be tired." I gave them a statement, and they were supposed to give me a logical conclusion.

I wrote: "You see a licence plate that says, "LDY DOC" what conclusion can you make about the driver?"

One student wrote: "The driver must see a lot of girls everyday."

I said, "Why did you make that conclusion?"
He said, "Don't you have doctors who only see ladies here? He must see lots of them every day."
I said, "Uh- yeah, that's not what I was thinking, but yes . . . ok I don't want to talk about this."

Another one was, "Shannon has a pink computer bag, a pink purse and a pink backpack."

One student answered, "Shannon must be fancy."

Indeed.

Here's how lazy I am: I have two thermoses- they are both dirty- instead of washing them (along with most of the dishes I own) I paid $20 for a new one.

Cheers! My tea is still hot from this morning!

I don't know why- but people at the store today seemed pretty funny. One little family was walking through the store and the little boy was carrying two toys. He was making sound effects for his toys, as little boys are prone to do, which sounded liked a very (very) high pitched "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
The grandmother said, "What is he doing?"
The mother never looked up from what she was deciding on and said, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
The grandmother said, "Well I know that!"

Maybe that's only funny to me.

It's raining today and Buzz refuses to go outside to pee. I guess he thinks he's gonna melt or something. I made him go out this morning, we both stood out in the rain glaring at each other. I kept yelling "Pee- stupid dog!" Then he would give me this forlorn look like, "Don't you understand? I can't pee in the bath!"

To him every "wet" is a bath, and every bath is a punishment.

Although I never mentioned it, nor posted pictures of my beloved dead mariachi band- ever since returning from Mexico I have been facinated with the decorations for the day of the dead. Or, as they say in Mexico "Dia de los Muertos" which lets face it sounds pretty darn scary.

Since Halloween decorations have started coming out so has my facination bloomed. Soon I will pull out my dead mariachis for display, and I've been coveting the sugar skulls I've seen on line.

I want to make some sugar skulls, but I know that the idea of making them is far more interesting to me than the actual making them would be. Then after I had them, I would wonder what do do with such large chunks of sugar . . . So, as compromise I've decided a good felt representation would work for me.

I've been reading about the day of the dead- and I can appriciate the idea of honoring the dead. Visiting and cleaning graves, remembering those who have gone on, celebrating withs family the lives of those who helped us along the way.

Why do we take such a negative view of death? Why do skeletons have to be relegated to a category with witches and monsters and evil. God made that skeleton- and it's pretty cool! Why not admire it a bit?

http://bluebison.net/books/dog_magnet/the-wiener-dog-magnet.pdf

read it now!

There's this guy in my almost-graduate class who is too stinking cute.

Most of the students are internationals "fresh off the boat" as my mother would have said in an undoubtedly non-politically correct way. A few are internationals who were educated in the US and every semester there are one or two American students. The program is designed to be a prep course for those who would like to start their MBAs, but don't have any business background.

The cute one is American. It's not so much his looks- yeah he's not hard to look at, but what got me was he seems to have this "everything is great! I love it here!" attitude. It's great!

Rarely do the American students want to be there. At least the internationals are glad to be making their first steps into an American MBA- which in most of their countries is a big-freaking-deal.

Last week he was dressed like a good-ole-boy- jeans, plaid shirt, scuffed up boots and belt- I asked him where he was from, he said "Conneticut!" I told him it looked like he was assimilating to his new country of Texas well.

I told my co-teacher that I noticed his exceedingly possitive attitude and she said, "I know! Isn't he cute? I'm glad he's in your class, he would distract me."

Here's to the cute Conneticut cowboy- going against all odds to be a Yankee and cheerful at the same time! :0)

About a month ago an old acquaintance of mine sent out a mass email letting everyone know that she was in terminal liver failure.

Some time before I met her she had received a liver transplant, she had been in her mid to late teens (I'm guessing) when she got it.

Before I met her I never really thought much about transplant patients- or what they endured as a result of a transplant. She never went into details- but even the most basic things such as taking non-rejection medicines, frequent testing to be sure everything is alright- constant fear that her body may reject this other person's organ at any moment- and there's nothing to be done about it.

She said in her letter than she would not be seeking, nor accept another transplant. I know she had misgivings about it the first time, but she probably had some amount of pressure to get it done. Who wouldn't pressure a loved one to live longer?

She said there's no way to know how the liver deterioration will proceed. It could be weeks, months or years. How amazing and frightening to live with that knowledge- weeks, months or years. It's is so for all of us- but we pretend it's not.

Yesterday I found out that someone I know- my age, some years younger has been diagnosed with MS- not as life threatening, but certainly life altering.

What a life we walk through- as though everything will always remain the same.

So- last night I finished a "nut cracker" doll. Just a rag doll really. She's ok- first attempt on any pattern is always a bit off- I think. I didn't quite follow the pattern (what's new) and I didn't really understand the bit about the skirt, so I just made it up as I went. It turned out acceptable.

Today I decided to make another one (because I got over excited when I started embroidering faces, and made four or five faces) this time with the correct skirt. So I made the skirt, and turns out my mistake looked cuter than the 'real' thing.

I sat there and looked at her for a while, thinking maybe she would grow on me.
Then I thought, 'Maybe somebody else will love this skirt.'
Then I thought, 'Who cares what somebody else will love?! I'm making this doll!'
So- I ripped the skirt off, tore out all the stitches, and laid the fabric across the sewing machine- tomorrow's another day.

Below are links which make me jealous- the first one is one the woman who made the pattern for the nutcracker doll- the picture of the doll on the front cover of her book is there.

posy gets cozy
molly chicken

My students were introducing themselves in class this week.

Lots of the Koreans take "American" names, to cut down on the mispronunciation will will inevitably occur with thier own names.

One guy chose the American name "Ryan."

Introducing himself he said, "My name is Ryan." Someone in the class said, "Ryan?" He said, "Not Rion! Rrrawwr! Ryan!" It was so great.

We're reading The Scarlet Letter again for class. We read the short story "Young Goodman Brown" as an into to the period/author. I've started reading a book called Witch Hunt: Mysteries of the Salem Witch Trials so that I have an idea about the trials so that I can talk about them with some amount of authority as an 'instructor.' Also to round out my reading I brought a book yesterday called Anticraft: Knitting, Beading and Stitching for the Slightly Sinster For, you know, when I'm feeling slightly sinister.

I'm feeling slighty sinister now- I'm crocheting a skeleton.

I was just reading something by a crocheter- she was saying she hates WIPs (Works in Progress) Wow- I am totally ok with them- which must be why I have so very many of them.

I went to the chiropractor for the first visit today. He said he would take it easy on me, make it really simple- he just pounded on my spine with some poundy machine- then he said, "this might be a little uncomfortable at first" as he bent my head back farther than I thought it would go. Then he said, "Just relax, some people get nervous when I do their necks, because it's really loud. But don't worry, it's only because your neck is closer to your ears."

Indeed.

My neck is closer to my ears.

He popped my back and my neck with ease- I know it's his job, he was trained, he does it everyday- all day. I still think it is pretty amazing that he knows exactly how to do that. I can't say that it made me feel any better or worse for having done it- but it's a process, so I've been told.

Crazy to pay someone to crack your bones, twist your neck and pound your spine. It helps that he's adorable.

to prove i haven't just been sitting around doing nothing . . . here are a few vaca pics- and some project pics to boot!

I made this pink elephant over a year ago. I looked at the finished project in the pattern book and immediately thought, 'that is pretty ugly.' I don't remember what ever possessed me to decide to make one. Did I think I could make it cuter than the one in the book? (Well, if I do say so myself, some times I do make things cuter than the originals, not often, but it has happened.) Did I decide to make one of everything in the book? What I on some kind of cheap crack? I DON'T KNOW! Needless to say my elephant turned out equally as ugly as the ones in the book.

The heads of everything this designer makes are crazy big. It's for the effect I know. They are supposed to look exaggerated and cartoonish. But the head on this pink elephant is HUGE. Also, it's trunk is kind of phallic looking. It has 'crazy eyes' staring wildly- like it's on cheap crack (where is all this cheap crack coming from? I think my dog might be a drug runner.)

I tried to make her cute. I gave her a little scarf, a skirt, some bows for her ears. Still ugly. She's been lurking in my closet all this time, because I didn't dare put her with the bag of cute things that I've made. I didn't want homely to rub off. I took her out of the closet today. I painted her finger/toe nails. Which is to say I painted some finger/toe nails on. I gave her eyelashes, blush, a little heart on the end of her trunk, and another one on her little butt. She's still not so cute. However, she's trying really hard, and that counts for something.

You know what? Not everyone is cute. That's just life. Some folks are homely, and you just got to love the cute into them. It's a proven fact that the more you love someone the better that person looks. It's also a proven fact that the drunker you are the better some people look, but I digress . . .
Sometimes you can look at a not-so-beautiful (physically) person, you may notice some attempts on that person's part to look better. A hair do/cut clothes, make up- whatever. We should love them more for trying to look better, because most of us know we aren't beautiful- even beautiful people sometimes think they aren't beautiful- so it's good when someone notices you've made an attempt to look better.

Boo- my last real vacation day is over. It was too short. I could do with another week or two. I occasionally think I should become a real teacher so I can have the whole summer off.

Speaking of being a 'real' teacher. I was informed in the last faculty meeting that I am Not a professor. Only PhD's are professors. I am an instructor. Again, Boo. I always thought of 'Professor' as a title substitute for those who don't have PhD's. If you have a PhD you are "Dr. So-and-so." If you don't you are "Professor So-and-so." Wrong!

Not that it matters, I never had my students address me as Professor, I never introduced myself as professor. I never tell people I'm a "professor." But all that's not the point.

In other useless news- I am a total failure at making doll clothes. What this means is that I have a whole passel of nekkid dolls hanging out in my apt. Some of them even have little tushies and "lady parts" which really should be covered up.

My dog is so lazy. He just got out of bed to walk four feet and lay down.

Next he walked over to his food bowl and looked at it like, "What? This again?!"

Poor darling.

I think my left shoulder is tanner than my right.

I really should be on twitter.

I have vacation things to talk about- really, I'm just working up to them.

I went to the chiropractor today. He told me I'm too straight. Then he told me other parts were too crooked, on account of my neck being too straight. It seems that one's neck is supposed to be at a 30 degree angle on your spine. Mine is at a 1 degree angle. He said to compensate for my straightness, my mid and lower back got crooked. That doesn't seem fair to me.

He said that all my life's woes can be blamed on my too straight/too crooked spine. Allergies, digestive problems, of course neck and back pain, leg cramps etc.

If only I had a curvy neck and a not crooked back.

My life would be better- so says the chiropractor.

He says he can fix me for the low cost of 60 visits at the value of $2600.

Wow.

yeah.

Actually I believe him.

I might do it- go on a payment plan. Get my neck curved.

I've made some dolls since I got back from my vacation-a-thon. My only consolation is that 70% of other dolls from the same pattern are uglier than mine.

I took some pictures of #1. I want to call her Latoya because she's so white, her nose is very pointy, she has (had) so much hair her neck was bending back, her eyes are a little wonky and she's somewhat lose jointed. However, she's still cuter than 70% of the other dolls from the pattern I've seen.

I decided to make a #2 to see what I could do better. She got better fingers and toes. One eye is better, the other one- still wonked out. Her nose is much improved. I haven't jointed her yet,but I've planned a different method. Her hair is not quite so heavy. She's looking good. I think I can put her at a strong 75%

I've started talking to myself about #3- What can I do about those eyes? Gotta change the fingers, it took an hour to get those fingers turned on #2.

After that- well, I'll have a collection of nekkid dolls sitting around- so I should make some clothes for the girls.

I would post some pics- but don't have the card reader on hand. Laters.

I've lead my students in studying the turbulent 1960s- focusing on the assassination of JFK. We went to talk to local author, Jim Marrs, to learn what his ideas were on the topic. He's a conspiracy theorist- and I think my students really enjoyed hearing from him. I know I did. He thinks pretty much all the important/powerful people in the country wanted JFK dead- and Dallas was their last chance to get him before re-election year when security and media coverage would increase. Oswald was a patsy- even a composite- a spook or two who was sacrificed for the plan. There's a six hundred page book called Cross Fire to explain it all.

I feel like a workaholic. Why can't I be some fun kind of aholic?

There is no pleasure in grading poorly written reserch papers, cover letters, resumes, essays, summeries, outlines and other stuff. Ok, there is some pleasure when they write something funny, but nothing funny has come up in a long time.

People who don't listen to directions should fail.

FAIL!

Now I know why old teachers were always so crabby.

my "He solves problems" poster is missing- poo!

While I'm still in love with tomatoes- I am also now fascinated with Giant Squid- aka Kraken!

A quote I found while researching:

"The male giant squid has to use a puny 15-gram brain to coordinate 150 kilograms of weight, 10 metres of length and a 1.5-metre-long penis... He physically plunges this penis into the female's arms, which are rather unfortunately right next to her beak. Because he is coordinating so much with so little, I think occasionally bits get chewed off when they inadvertently get too close to the beak."

And now I will go watch Pirates of the Caribbean 2

Oh yeah- and angler fish too! Saw an interesting picture of a blob fish while researching that- would you believe I have a knitting pattern for a tomato, an angler fish (with or without parasitic
male) and a kraken all in one book?

Knitting can be so educational.

Utter update: On the vocabulary test studens had to write a sentence using some word- Utter:
She uttered the secret that Mike only has one testicle.
Well yes, I suppose you can use it in that sentence . . .

I'm having an allergic reaction- I think. I'm itchy all over. I didn't know if it is allergies, dry skin or nerves. I put on lotion and took some benadryl. Now I smell good and I'm a little loopy, but I don't itch any more.

It seems I've been feeling exceptionally British lately. I've been eating grilled tomatoes and baked beans in combo- which is what I was served several times for breakfast abroad.

I bought these jello pudding singles at the 99c store the other day. Fascinating . . . there is something fundamentally against nature and inexpressibly wrong about them, and yet they are also delicious and greatly intriguing!

Pudding singles

I have a moth infestation- that is not cool with me. It's like they appear out of nowhere! I kill at least two every day! That may not seem like alot, but when's the last time any of you have killed two moths a day in your house/apartment? FOR MONTHS! (This question only applies to people who do not live in the 3rd world) What the heck? What are they doing? Why are they plaguing me!? Where do they come from? What do they WANT!? I feel like a crazy person following them around trying to smack them down. (The are surprisingly agile and hardy.)

I had a car infested with sugar ants once. It was awful, but only lasted for about an hour, a very important hour- While I can swear it really happened, all the facts seem to point to a nervous imagination at work during a driving test.

I had a class room infested with gnats once. It was like teaching in a psycho ward. It was a dimly lit room, so standing in the front I couldn't see the gnats, but the students were all out there swatting at the air and smacking the desks with zeal. Once I figured out what was going on it was less disconcerting, but still- it's hard to stay on track in that kind of bedlam.

With review like this, I have no choice but to buy this book:
"If you like crocheting food, you won't be disappointed with this book."

I guess I like crocheting food, (seems more disturbing when I actually put it in print) but heck this would just be an awesome coffee table book!

randomly she would like to point out:

There's a student in my graduate class that goes on and on about how stupid blogs, facebook and twitter are. "Who cares what you had for lunch?" she questions. Obviously people do care. I'm not sure why- they just do some times. I told her that occasionally I have something interesting to say on my ancient outdated blog. Like about the time I saw that monkey doing push ups on the street . . . then I thought, no, actually I don't think I ever did write a blog about that.

I have my students in IEP (English program) reading Blink. They have to read it, summarize it, present it, come up with vocabulary for it and we discuss it in class. We are sure to be sick of it by the end of the month. Because I have the highest level class, I normally never get the funny stories of students misusing words or phrases like the lower level teachers. On Friday, however, I got a good laugh. The students had come up with a vocabulary worksheet which included the words "badge" and "utter" (adj). There was a fill in the blank exercise and the sentence was, "They were checking every one's ___ before they came in." One student said "utters." I started laughing and they didn't see why that wrong answer was so funny. I had told them that "utter" (adj) meant completely and that utter (v) meant to say something. I hadn't mentioned that udder (n) meant cow tits. I didn't think it would come up in conversation. I'm often wrong.

I watched The Red Shoes Diaries last night- I don't think I would have finished it if it hadn't been for David Duchuvney. I tried to decide why I've always thought he was so dang cute. I don't normally go all weird about movie stars- ok yeah Brad Pitt is handsome, but whatever-ehh. Robert Redford- yes. Christopher Reaves yes. That vampire kid with the messy hair- ehh. Any way- I'm going to say his lips and maybe his hair. I don't know.
The movie was terrible. The characters were too intense. They weren't believable. I don't recommend it unless you want to see some David eye-candy too. To give away the whole thing- to save 1 hour and 45 minutes of your life-
Two young professionals are in love. They live together, share everything together, know all the secrets of each other- the woman feels she has given away all her secrets- so she has an affair with a shoe salesman (he's a very hot shoe salesman.) She realizes her mistake, she tries to break it off, but the shoe guy is too intense, he loves her (although he doesn't know her name) he must have her. She can't deny him. So she kills herself. Then poor David, the fiance who finds her body and doesn't understand, finds her diary and reads about the whole affair. He finds the shoe guy, he challenges him to a game of basketball (I don't know!) First David is winning, then shoe guy- finally shoe guy finds out that his lover is dead so he punches out David. David places an add in the news paper for women to send him their diaries so that he can understand his loss.

Blah.

I steamed a cake in the crock pot tonight. Just to see what would happen. It's weird. Not bad, just weird.

I crocheted a pear this weekend.

Seems like I had something important to say, but I can't think of anything important at all.

I had cheesy spaghetti for dinner because I didn't have any elbows and I didn't want to eat anything red. (Except Kool-aid)

I've decided to stop buying nonperishable foods. Not forever, just until I run out of what I have. I have alot. I waste alot of food. So-it's me and the cheesy spaghetti .

I put my plastic blender container in the dishwasher. It was not dishwasher safe. Now the lid doesn't fit. Drat! I have to put plastic wrap on it when I want to blend. I blend at least twice a week lately.

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That, my friends is a 48 hour drive. To what purpose one might ask? Well, it started out with Mt. Rushmore. Then it was "I wonder what's in Fargo?" Then it was "Wow! The biggest Holstein statue IN THE WORLD is in ND!" Then it was, "That's not all, there is also the Enchanted Highway." Then I thought, 'after I drive through all the amazingness which is the Mid-West, I should see something pretty- in CO. Amarillo is quirky.' Will I actually make this trip? I don't know. Is it a good idea? Probably not, but who can confine themselves to live life on only what appears to be good ideas?

Unfortunately I write more in my imagination than I do in reality. The blog in my head is awesome.

In my imagination I have time and inclination to write more, my butt isn't tired of sitting here and I don't have so much work to do outside of class . . . pooh.

The last few projects I've finished: a chicken/egg toy, a rabbit toy, a "happy poo(p)" toy and some ambivalent pee and a fertility doll. Seems like a pattern to me. I'll have to get some pictures- I understand some of those things might be hard to imagine in yarn form.

I've been reading Trixie Belden- she's like Nancy Drew, but less cool I suppose. The books were written starting in the late 1940s and continued on for a while I suppose- there are 38 or more books. I used to read them when I was a kid- I think my mom used to read them when she was a kid- and she bought them for me at garage sales when she would find them.

They are so wholesome- all the kids are super nice boys and girls- who also happen to solve mysteries. I don't know if I know what's going to happen from the beginning because they are very childish stories or if I somehow remember them- I'm sure I read most the 38 available.

Back to Trixie- I have the first three books and #10. I think I'll look for the last book in the series so I will know how it ends- no use reading them all again! :)

Your Result: 100% Texan

You have scored the highest Texan percentage available. Your mother should be proud. Go ahead and call her, I'll wait. Anywho, go eat some chili, ride a longhorn and pick some blue bonnets because Texas is just that great. PROUD TEXAN!!!!!

HA! Take that!

Now I have to go to Walmart for a victory lap!

Actually I guess on about 1/3 of the question . . . Where is Big Red bottled? What is the state bird? What city is Blue Bell ice cream made in? I don't know, I just eat the ice cream and make sure the birds don't eat my dog.

I just had an epic battle with a hundred million roaches.

hyperbole

I won of course, but it was disconcerting none-the-less.

Good thing the bug guy is coming tomorrow.

They were all in the dining room- weird.

I'm gonna blame it on the neighbor.

Why else would I have roaches in the dining room but not the kitchen?

Eww- I have to go wash my hands again.

Martha Stewart's dogs have their own blog.

I'm just saying.

Do people actually have time to read what somebody thinks a dog would write if it had, you know, thumbs?

It's difficult to comprehend.

Martha's dogs have a higher readership than most blogs I'd guess.

I showed my grammar class a picture like this one and said, "Who is this?" They came up with "White Snow and the seven short people."

Yeah- that made me happy. I should ask those types of questions more often, but they do lead to long conversations about dwarfs and midgets and human growth hormone . . . bother.

The colors are a bit off from the true- it's really hard to take a picture of that red for some reason. Must be haunted. MATER IS WAITING FOR YOU!

 
 
 
 

I crocheted myself a tomato- turns out he's not psychotic at all. I tried. I made him one giant-crazy eye. Then I thought for sure he needed two giant-crazy eyes, but when I put them on they weren't right at all. One giant crazy eye was slightly larger than other giant-crazy eye, they didn't look right with or without eyelids . . . so in the end my little tomato got two cute little embroidered eyes- like monkey eyes. (If you can imagine.) That wasn't enough so he also got a cute little button nose. What a cute little innocent tomato- like the tomato next door. It's too dark to take a picture.

I also finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows today. Very dramatic. I also went to Goodwill. I bought three dresses two skirts and six dog toys for about $35.00. What a deal.