Job 33:28

Friday, February 25, 2005

Hey- looking for love, check out craigslist! I found this beauty!

I am gay, for now.
Reply to:
anon-59780756@craigslist.orgDate: 2005-02-14, 9:24PM CSTI am a very cute 5'11", built like a boxer, witty, have sparkly green eyes and curly brown hair, and possess nice fashion sense. I have a wavering sexual preference; lately it's been men, but I am looking for a good woman for reproductive and companionship purposes. I can redecorate your house, host your dinner parties, eat your snatch like there's no tomorrow, and impress your mother with my non-nelly ways. I am successful (self employed; partner in a branding consultancy - my role is primarily that of creative director), have very little debt, and own an excruciatingly cute beagle looking for a mommy. I have many straight girl friends who can vouch for my urge to smooch and talent in the sack. I'd do my best friend and try to knock her up, but she's into black professors and while I can be a social chameleon, I can never fake THAT. You should be tall, curvy, mouthy, occasionally vulgar, into pasta and vodka, tolerant of beagles, and wanting a child within the next 3 to 5 years. I don't mind smokers, alcoholics, bipolar freaks, crazy exes, gambling issues, strange parents, or neuroses. Just let me dress you in well-chosen items from Kohl's. I iron like a Korean woman, cook like an Italian grandmother, and am pretty good about taking out the trash. Let me treat you right and give you a baby, baby. It will definitely be worth your while. I won't cheat on you with other chicks, that's for sure.it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
59780756

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

ao
Taste

Sometimes, sometimes I eat popcorn with hot sauce and garlic salt. I got the hot sauce part from my friends in Gill Village. . . they ate hot sauce (Tabasco sauce) on everything! You name it, they were willing to try it with hot sauce, a particular tribe of people those folks. For a short time I was one of them. Like Steve Martin, "I grew up a poor black child."

The garlic salt, I don't know where I came up with that-- aside, of course, from my impeccable culinary tastes and good sense in combining flavors and textures (I don't want to hear any comments on that one!)

We used to "huff it."

I remember opening a bag of microwave popcorn, and steam rising to meet our faces . . . the secret is to put the hot sauce on first, and shake it up for even coverage. Then, when you put the garlic salt on, it sticks to the hot sauce, close the bag and shake it up.

Open up the bag and huff it. Stick your face down in the bag and take a deep breath, inhale until your nostrils twitch and your eyes water. (But don't sneeze!) That's how you know you got the right amount of hot sauce and garlic salt. That's how you know.

I'm gourmet now. I have chipotle Tabasco sauce and garlic and herb (salt free) seasoning.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

So, when I'm complaining about grammar (I didn't drop it after all) this is what I'm complaining about . . . not where to put the comma.

Monday, February 21, 2005

I am worth $1,820,458.00 on HumanForSale.com

take that and rewind it back!
The Lion and I discussed where the symbol for the heart came from. She was told it was modeled after a frog heart . . . Here's what I found.



coinage of Cyrene, which features a seed pod of the revered plant

Perhaps the first known use of the heart shape comes from the 7thcentury BC, in Cyrene. In that city, at that time, Silphium was a plant so highly prized for it's use as birth control that it became extinct. The seeds of Silphium were shaped like hearts, however, making historians believe that the heart shape we know today was based upon this early form of birth control.

Much later, heart symbols show up in stained glass windows, symbolizing the soul or love of Jesus. (Perhaps because the roman soldier who pierced Jesus' heart at the time of the crucifixion saw blood and water flow from Christ's heart.) Later still, the Catholic Church claimed the symbol of the heart originated with St. Margaret Marie Alacoque, who had a vision in the 17th century where she saw a heart shape surrounded by a crown of thorns.

In the Middle Ages, the heart sign was associated with signs for union, togetherness, fire, and flight. More recently, in Sweden, the symbol was used to denote a coed toilet. On an ancient Greek amphora, hearts represented leaves on Dionysus' wreath, although later, the heart's association with Eros, god of sexual love, and Cupid, his Roman counterpart, prevailed. Apparently Aztecs, Hindus, Buddhists, Muslims, Jews, Celts, and Taoists all use this fortuitous symbol.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

You scored as The Brown Ajah. You are best suited for the Brown Ajah. Dreamy eyes, and ink stained fingers are the mark of this Ajah. These Aes Sedai are the historians, librarians, scientists, and engineers of the White Tower. They are in charge of the Tower Libraries and as such are usually more negotiable than probably anyone else. These Aes Sedai are usually so caught up in their studies and research projects that they are oblivious to current events in the world.

The Brown Ajah

95%

The Red Ajah

80%

The Green Ajah

70%

The Blue Ajah

65%

The Gray Ajah

60%

The Yellow Ajah

55%

The Black Ajah

50%

The White Ajah

40%

What Ajah are you best suited for?
created with QuizFarm.com

The red Ajah was formed to stop the spread of the breaking. They're mandate is to search out men who can channel, take them to the tower for trial (to make sure that they can channel) and then to gentle them (cut/remove they're ability to touch the true source). The Red Ajah more so than the other Ajah keep to themselves. Very few Reds have friends outside of their Ajah.
The reds have grown to have a stigma of being mean, over the years. This is probably a because of the type of woman who chose the Red. Of which there are two. The first are women who hate men, whether they had been raped, beaten, or lesbians probably depends on the woman herself, and RJ has never said why these woman hate men. A good example of this type of Red is Liandrin. The second type are women who actually want to help the men they are searching out. This group seems to be a lot smaller.
Generally if an accepted is tough, mean, or snotty, it is assume they will chose the Red. Elaida is the first Red Ajah to wear the Stole of the Amyrlin seat since Bonhwin basically because of their volatile personalities.

hmmm, my 85% Redness is with the minority group, I'm pretty sure. I just want to help!

Saturday, February 12, 2005

I taught my dog the “speak” command. Now it’s just “bark, bark, bark!” any old time. That lesson was probably not one of my best moves. If I have a treat in my hand, it doesn’t matter what the command is, he’s going to do everything he knows to get it.

He knows, “sit” “down” and now “speak” he instinctively knew “jump.” So we have a routine. I get a milk bone and I say, “what do you do for this cookie?” and he sits (military precision as long as there is a cookie involved.) and I say, “what else?” and he lays down. And I say, “what else?” and he barks and then I hold the cookie up about waist high and he jumps. It usually takes 2 or 3 tries to get it. (he’s very short you see) Sometimes he’s just too excited so I have to say “down! Down! Down dumb dog!”
The other day he was barking his little head off to get some food and I said, “Shut up you tiny beast! You speak when I say “speak” not until then!!” Then I thought, ‘Wow, I say some really strange things to this little being.’ The other day I said, “Hey! Get away from there! You aren’t even allowed to sniff books!” (We’ve had a few incidents) Dare I say it’s like have a tiny disobedient slave to yell at for any given reason?

He doesn’t mean to be bad, the reasons that he is so bad are 1. he doesn’t know English and 2. he doesn’t have any thumbs 3. and he has a brain the size of a pitted prune.

If he knew English he certainly would understand that eating books and yarn is clearly unacceptable in Shannonland, for I have told him many and numerous times. If he had thumbs, he wouldn’t get in so much trouble because assuredly he would find much more suitable ways to pass his time. Instead of digging up house plants and shredding the carpet, he could play video games or write letters to the editor before he peed on the newspaper. If he had thumbs, he could write me a letter and say, “It hurt my feelings when you said you were going to strangle me with my own ears, and that is why, in an act of revenge, I pooed in your closet, twice.” If his brain was larger than a pitted prune, he would remember that I get loud and violent when he does certain things. He would remember before he did them, not when I get home and see what he’s done. If his brain wasn’t so tiny I suspect he wouldn’t try to eat his own poo, he wouldn’t try to molest people’s legs.

In short, life would be far different if Buzz knew English, had thumbs and had the a bigger brain.

Thank you for your attention
Sit!

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Big news! I did well enough on my GRE to be accepted to UTA unconditionally! (Whahoo!) I was pretty darn sure when I saw those scores I was going to have to jump through some hoops to get accepted, but lo—either somebody made a mistake, or lots of folks are dumber than me! I’m not asking any questions.

The GRE is just a glorified SAT. Let me tell you a little story about me when I was in high school. All the Jr.s had to take the PSAT (Practice SAT) for placement or something. Then we all went to see our guidance councilors individually to talk about our scores and what tract we wanted to take for our Sr. year.

I walked in and my councilor said, “Well, Shannon, your score is right here in the middle of the bell curve.”
I said, “Well, that’s good right?”
He said, “Yes, usually yes, but not so much for you.”
He showed me the curve and explained how it was calculated and said, “So, here are your scores, Language skills, very good, 90 percentile. Math skills, not good, 20 percentile. When we average those together, you are in the middle of the bell curve.”

So, on my GRE, let’s just say there are some very similar scores. C’est la vie—I’m not teaching math!
I went to the mall and got a makeover at one of the counters last weekend. The girl made me up to look like I wasn’t wearing make up. I thought, “Well heck! What’s the point in that? I always look like that because I hardly ever wear make up!” (Yes, yes, the lipstick addiction still stands, but most days, that’s as far as it goes.) I’ve been working on my New Year’s resolution to start wearing eye makeup at least though, because I sure ain’t getting any younger and I need something to temper the downward spiral.

She said, “You have such flawless skin, you really don’t need base, but lets try some of this powder.” I wouldn’t go so far as flawless . . . quite possibly she was handing out the compliments with the hopes of receiving some sales. I didn’t even get mascara! I suppose it doesn’t matter, my eyelashes are already brown so no point in that, and black mascara makes my eyes look creepy. I don’t even want to look at my eyes when I wear it. (I do confess about twice a year I feel devious and wear it just to creep people out.) I did buy some “cheek tint.” So I look pink and rosy “Like a cute boy just walked by.” So said the sales girl.

Monday, February 07, 2005

Ash Wednesday is this week, and then 40 days of Lent. I love the way Christians fast. We’ll “fast” for 40 days, but that doesn’t include Sundays. And we are only be fasting from one thing. Traditionally, Greek Orthodox believers fast from meat for Lent. I don’t know what’s up with the Catholics, seems like they get to choose. Sometimes they give up gum, or Pepsi.

I’ve chosen wheat this year. (I fast from meat regularly) I like to choose something that will affect me on a daily basis, so I can remember what I’m doing. Not just what I’m fasting from, but what I’ve personally associated Lent with in these past few years. This is the time to fix broken things. This is the time to throw away things you don’t need. This is the time to give away things you thought you needed, you think you still need to make you happy. I guess this is spring cleaning for your soul.

Starting Wednesday, there are 40 days to consider the past year, who you’ve been and who you want to be after the resurrection. There are 40 days to bring yourself to change, 40 days to confess, apologize, forgive, atone and change.

Here we go
ao
I heard "My Sharona" three times last week.

Coinsidence?


Yes, yeah-- yeah probably it was.
I read a story in the paper last week about a woman charged with murdering her husband by giving him a sherry enema. I thought, "did I read that right?" Yes, and you did too. Well, who would have thought of such a creative way to kill a guy? Not me.

I once knew a medical professional who insisted if he ever encountered me in his hospital (or whoever,I'm sure this was a threat he used with many) that he was going to give me an enema! (not matter what the problem) Well, naturally you can be sure he never did encounter me. I know now though, the dangers of the enema! Maybe he thought I knew too much, that's why he wanted to get rid of me.

This is an example of bad! Bad hair! Bad HAIR! And North Korea says it is not Okay with them. I'm glad somebody has taken an official stand on this issue at last.



North Korea has launched a campaign urging men to get a proper socialist
short-back-and-sides haircut.
The Stalinist regime feels that long hair on
men is a sign of a corrupt capitalist lifestyle, reports the BBC.
The
campaign, by the state-run Pyongyang television, is entitled Let us trim our
hair in accordance with Socialist lifestyle.
It shows various state-approved
short hairstyles including the "flat-top crew cut," "middle hairstyle," "low
hairstyle," and "high hairstyle".
Men should get a haircut every 15 days, it
recommended.
Tidy attire "is important in repelling the enemies' manoeuvres
to infiltrate corrupt capitalist ideas and lifestyle and establishing the
socialist lifestyle of the military-first era," the campaign says.


It stressed the "negative effects" of long hair on "human intelligence
development", noting that long hair "consumes a great deal of nutrition" and
could thus rob the brain of energy.
Men should get a haircut every 15 days,
it recommended

Friday, February 04, 2005

AO




I want you to see something.
I want you to see this.

AO

What follows will be for you
Everytime, I’ll remember you
I want you to see it
I want to know you’ve seen it
I want you to know you’ll see again

Tell me this time
I won’t ask again.
Just this time
Tell me you see it.

Someday—someday I want you to tell me a story
Until then, I’ll tell you my stories
Some of them will be for you, but you have to share.

I’ll remember you as you remember me.
Your score as a human being is 88.25.
You are close to ideal. So close, and yet so far. Amusing, really, to watch someone squirm so close to the vaunted ranks of perfection and still remain so very, very ordinary. It is all one can do to keep one's ingratiating smile from polluting one's perfect face.Actually, one recommends you take the quiz again and lie a little.

http://hokev.brinkster.net/quiz/default.asp?quiz=Better%2BPerson&page=6&q1=1&q2=5&q3=5&q44=4&q41=1&q45=2&q43=3&q42=5
You are a WECF--Wacky Emotional Constructive Follower. This makes you a Candle burning at both ends.You work until you drop, and you play until you can stand to work again. You have so much enthusiasm that you can find it hard to control on your own, and you appreciate the guidance that channels your energy and lets you be your best.In a relationship, you require lots of attention and support. You often over-contribute and end up feeling depleted and cheated. You may benefit from more time alone than you grant yourself.Your driving force is the emotional support of others--especially affection. You can run on empty for miles if you have positive energy behind you. Without it--as it occasionally must run dry--you are depressive, listless, and difficult to motivate.You need a lot of affection. Get it any way you can, but never at the cost of your self-respect or well-being.Of the 89518 people who have taken this quiz since tracking began (8/17/2004), 7.5 % are this type.

http://hokev.brinkster.net/quiz/default.asp?quiz=Better%2BPersonality&page=5&re=1&cd=1&lf=4&ws=4

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Imagine your life as an arena.

I imagine it as everyone looking at what's happening on a track, and there being one runner. Everyone can see the runner, when she stops to rest, when she jumps the hurdles, when she sprints or slows down to walk. They can see when she is tired. They can see she runs alone, but she constantly scans the arena, seeking familiar faces, encouragement and direction from the stands. Sometimes the people in the arena have a better perspective on matters than the runner.

The people in the stands can move about the arena, but if they leave . . . there's an empty seat that nobody else can fill. If the one who left was sitting way up at the top of the stands, the runner may never miss that person; she may never notice the empty seat because she didn't know that person was watching. But if the one who leaves was sitting in the lower decks, low enough where the runner can see him clearly, if the runner was able read the expressions on the face of that spectator, when he leaves his seat empty, he is sorely missed. Over time the runner will learn to look to other faces for encouragement and direction, but that empty seat will still be there to remind her that someone is missing.

Somehow, it hurts less to know someone you used to call friend isn't gone, he's just way the heck up there in the cheap seats. Well, I've got these seats, down here on a lower deck and I think I'll just mark them "saved for Mr. and Mrs. J. Reb" You know, incase the occasion ever arises where they need a closer look.