We watched "The Book of Eli" last week.  It made me wonder about an uncertain future without books. It doesn't have to be  Fahrenheit 451.  It could just be the end of the love of books in paper form.  I was at the bookstore yesterday.  I was there to work, but of course I took a few minutes to brows the shelves.  I Love Books. I like how they look, I like how they smell.  I like how they feel heavy in my hands.  I like what's in them (mostly.)

The problem is that I've given in the the convenience of the digital book.  I also love my Kindle.  (Little "l" love.) I love that I can carry a library in my bag.  I love that I can read War and Peace or Les Miserables (or more likely Harry Potter) and my hand won't go numb trying to hold up the volume.  I like the built in dictionary and I really like the idea of many of the other features that I never use.  I love that many titles are cheaper than (or free)  the paper version.  There's a lot to love about e-readers.

But I still love books, Beautiful picture books and substantial leather bound, gold leaf books.   I've been working on the same (paper) book for about 8 months now.  It's not the most interesting book, but it's not bad.  Reading for work, life and laziness keep me from it, from many books that I really want to read!

Someone I used to work with decided after she had depleted a LONG maternity leave-vacation-sick days that she couldn't bare to go back to work full time so she quit.  Not, however, before she made a big mess of her job, which greatly effected other's jobs, including mine in a negative way.

Several people questioned her, asking if she was sure that was the right choice for her, "oh yes, yes it is the best choice, how could I leave my precious little one in the hands of a stranger?  She's only 9 months old!"  Yes, 9 months, that's how long the part time- maternity leave-vacation-sick days went on.

One well intentioned person even told her not to do it.  She warned she had done it herself and found not everyone is cut out to be a stay at home mom.  She was told the choice had been made.  Others were told that "That woman should mind her own business."

Two weeks later she called the director asking for work.  That was two weeks into interviews to replace her.  She said she and her husband had already arranged their schedules so that she could come back as a full time (9-1) instructor. (That's my job.)  Did she know that if she simply "came back" that either my co-worker or I would lose our jobs? Did she care?

I would have been mortified to come back asking for a job, on principle considering how strongly she insisted she was making the right choice.  More so in that she left the place in a shambles.

I wonder if she even realized what she had done.

I thought before that she was a very self centered person.  The kind of person who tells everyone else how it is, but when someone speaks their mind back, she got of the defense.     I thought when she left that she had never seemed to be the stay at home type.  But I also thought that I didn't know her so well, so figuring she knew herself I didn't say anything.

I think I know myself pretty well.  I've been working part time since May.  I love it.  I think it's perfect really.  I get some time to spend with the baby, I get some time to spend with adults.

I think I could be happy as a stay at home mom.  I have so many things to fill my time.  The time that is that is not filled with the baby.  She leaned to stand, cruise and make funny sniffy noises last week.  She got her first tooth.  She loves her high chair and I love to watch her eat Cheerios. She concentrates so hard to get that little "o" between her finger and her thumb, then while it is still as far away from her mouth as her little arm can reach, she opens her mouth and slowly brings her treasure to her tongue.

I'll be going back full time in January.  It will be hard.

Here's what's happened in the last few days.  Sweet Pea has learned how to go from a crawling position to a sitting position, and she's learned how to pull herself up.  I told D. I thought she was a little a head on the crawling.  The baby sites say she may start crawling by 7 months.  So, she was a month early, so what.  This pulling up thing though- I don't remember reading about that yet.  It's great, but it means a lot of things have to change and quick.  The crib mattress needs to be lowered, so she won't fall out.  Everything needs be put up higher, because now she can reach everything on the sofa, the first and second shelves, the foot stool and the chairs.

She's sleeping on the floor now.  When I put her in the crib for a nap she sat up and looked at me like, "I think I can get out of here."

I also learned what "cruising" means in baby vocabulary.  That's when they move around a room going place to place holding on to something to help them balance.  She's also cruising.

I often dream of running, not from anything, just running to get places or for fun.  I wish that were really in my temperament.

I've declared Mondays for me. The  baby is with Noni and I'm going to try to sign up for a class.  The first class is Hula Hoop for the young at heart. (That means old people, ie me!)  It only meets four times. After that I'll start something new- or maybe dedicate that time to finishing something old.

Monday evenings I will attend a woman's Bible study on Esther.

Other Monday activities will include school work and house work.  Blah.

I've discovered I can't really use my office more than on Tuesdays and Thursdays because I never know when Steve will be there.
It should be only a few months until Steve will move over to the "adjunct office" and I will be labeled "core faculty."
It will be hard to leave my baby everyday!

EJ got up on her hands and knees yesterday and started rocking.  When I put her down she's no longer in that same place when I come back.  She's not crawling yet, but she's scooting around on the floor and rolling until she finds herself someplace interesting.  She can sit up by herself now.  She'll still fall over, but she doesn't seem to mind when she does, because that gives her a chance to scoot and roll.  

Time to baby proof.

Susa the unfinished stocking stuffer.

This poor girl has been left undone for, well who knows how long, she has a sister even less put together.  I've got to get these two girls going!  I'm in a mood to pull my sewing machine out. The more I think about it the more convinced I am that I could easily be a stay at home mom and never run out of (fun) things to do.

I made some baby food today.  I don't know why I decided to buy all orange food again.  Carrots, sweet potatoes, mangos and peaches.  I realized the orangeness after the carrots and the sweet potatoes . . .  so I gave my little monkey some bananas.  She wasn't impressed with my effort.  Little stinker.

She was eating food really well, then she started getting distracted by EVERYTHING and doing crazy little interpretive dances in her chair.  I've been using a Bumbo to sit her in while she eats.  I need a high chair so I can put her there and leave her until she's ready for the next bite, some times it takes quite a while to come around.

I just put a pot pie in the oven, the packaging told me that the paper tray the pie was in was "ovenable." I question the wordability of "ovenable."

I can't find Susa's sister, but I did find her hair, and few naked cousins.

Big day for me and Sweet Pea.  I had a plan of things to do, I did the fun things, and just as I was starting the less fun things I got a call.  There is a new outlet mall and it opened today.  Of course I Had to check it out right?  I mean, even though I don't need anything, I should know what's available for when I do need something.

SP slept in late, the only problem with that is the over-wet diaper.  I think I can deal with a few extra things to wash in trade for extra hours of sleep.

I had breakfast and got some crocheting and listening to Bible done this morning before she got up.  After she ate we went adventuring.  We walked up to the church on the corner and found a mini geocache.

PK got me involved in her new hobby.  Of course I want to look for treasure!  With a map! It's pretty great.  I got a cute little pathtag, which is a trackable coin people have made so they can see who will find their treasures, and what stories they have to tell about finding them.

Of course as this was only my third geocaching adventure, this was my first pathtag and now I know I need to collect them.  And more importantly, I need to convince my director that we need to have them made for TCU IEP, for students and other geocachers to find them and write notes for us.

There are several caches within walking distance of the house, so SP and I have lots of other adventures to try before we need to branch out.

Sweet Pea and I have already had a full  day, and she's been napping for an hour.

I decided to try cloth diapers . . . it seemed like a good idea a the time.  It might still be a good idea when I don't use them at night.  When she woke up she was wet head to toes.  Her clothes, swaddler, blanket, sheet, and mattress pad were wet too, not to mention the cloth diaper and cover.

So, lesson learned, not at night.

I changed her, thought about giving her a bath and decided that I'd just wiper her down, feed her and then strip her bed.

I stripped the bed and put everything in the washer.

She ate 2.5 ounces of oatmeal, then 7 oz. of formula.  When I insisted on a burp, I got one, and ALL the cereal and formula too.  I'm not exaggerating.  ALL.  ALL over me.  I was soaked. I thought about giving us both a bath, but I decided to just change my clothes.

I took the first load out of the washer to start the second load, which included my wet clothes.

So, maybe she's not feeling good.  I mean she did smile at me as as soon as the she was finished throwing up on me. It wasn't even that gross considering it had only been in her for about 3 minutes.

I went to change her pants and it was dirty.  It was dirty up to her armpits. Again, I'm not even exaggerating.  It wasn't diarrhea, just a good healthy BM.

I gave up and we both got in the bath.

We both got dressed.  She ate 5 oz. of formula and went back to sleep by 10:30.

Making baby messes is hard work.

I had a dream the other night.

I dreamed I was relocated to a vineyard along with a large group of Christians.  It was like a prison camp.  We were instructed to pick the grapes, but we were not allowed to eat them.The grapes were large and beautiful, heavy with juices and each fruit was as big as a walnut.  The Christians were hungry.  Many of them ate the forbidden fruit until their mouths were purpled with the juices. Others ate in secret, furtively looking to see if they were being watched.  Others tried to resist, but they were so hungry they were surprised to find the fruit in their mouths and gone before they understood what they had done. They asked among themselves, "Did I eat that?"

It was a dream of hypocrisy. 

We live among the temptations of the world, and some of us gorge.  Some of us pretend we are not taking what we should not have, we hide our actions.  Some of us wish to do right, but before we know it we have taken what we should never have taken.

Is there a Christian among us who really could resist unto death the temptations of this world?

I know who I am, and it is shameful.

• The "Hate nuggets" on both sides need to stop.
  
  
  
  Shannon Dawn Burnham Has chik fil a killed your gay friends? I thought the owner just has an opinion.

  5 hours ago via mobile · 
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   They've donated lots of $$ to anti gay charities I refuse to donate to that cause so they won't profit of off me eating there.

  4 hours ago ·  · 4
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  No, none of my friends have been murdered by Chick-fil-a Shannon Dawn Burnham. However, Chick-fil-a has donated millions of dollars of their profits to several anti-gay groups and have made it perfectly clear that they do not believe that all men were created equal. Since I do, I am making it perfectly clear that I will never give them another red cent.

  3 hours ago ·  · 1
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  Further comments are not welcome here. Click "Like" or move along please.

  2 hours ago ·  · 1

  
  

  Between the last two comments this comment by me was deleted:

  
  

  I respect your decision.  Here is what the owner of Chic-fil-a says, "While my family and I  believe in the Biblical definition of marriage, we love and respect anyone who disagrees." 

  
  

  Here is a list of the "anti gay" charities the owner of Chic-fil-a has donated to:

  Marriage and Family Legacy Fund

  Fellowship of Christian Athletes

  National Christian Foundation

  Focus on the Family

  *Eagle Forum (leading the pro-family movement since 1972)

  *Exodus International (seeks to "rehabilitate" gay Christians)

  Family Research Council

  
  

  * I looked these two up since I didn't know them and they weren't obviously named.  

  
  

  If a gay person decides he wants to be a Christian and wants to be "rehabilitated" isn't that his business?  

  
  

  I am so disappointed by the lack of thoughtfulness on both sides.

Half year resolutions:


Half year resolutions:

• NO NEW YARN (except on my birthday) for the rest of the year

• Take time to read (for fun)  every day, even if it's only 5 minutes

• DIET (Lose 30+ lbs by Christmas)

• Write in the baby book

• Blog once a week (at least)

• Take time to KNIT or CROCHET (like I have to remind myself, but sometimes I don't because of other things that I feel like I have to do.  I want to remember I have to relax for me)

• Keep Organizing

• Keep up on my work prep

• Enjoy my new office at work (Can I do 2+ hours a week on work days?  Can I take the baby in on off days?)

• EXERCISE each day, even if it's only for a short time

• Spend more time with hubby 

• Enjoy time with EJ

I can do these things.

Mirrors lie.  They tell you you look good, at least better than you did when you started whatever the process was to get you looking in the mirror.  Changing clothes, putting on make up or doing your hair, the mirror lies.

I know this because sometimes I look in the mirror and think, "Yeah that's okay."  Then I look at a picture taken that same day and think, "What the HECK?"

The time has come again to be serious about a diet.  Several of my friends have had very good success with their diets, and I think it is time for me.  I need to get rid of this baby weight before I add more on.  I told D. we can talk about babies again at the end of the year, so there's not much time to get some off.

I talked to the Dr. about it and he said as soon as my lungs and feet are "less jacked up" he could hook me up with a program that can work  on the condition that I PROMISE to exercise, or it would be a waste of effort.  I know he's right.  I've lost weight before without exercise, but it all found me again.

I'm thinking a good idea would be the C25K program and some gym time after work.   It will be hard because 1. I'm lazy and 2. I don't like to walk with the current stroller.  I don't want to buy an expensive exercise stroller if I'm not really going to get my money's worth. Besides, if we do get pregnant around the end of the year, I'll need a double . . . hard.

Other plans, figure out my protein, calories and burn calories needs.  I know there are formulas.
Improve will power- get exercise music and listening materials ready to keep me focused.
Make a schedule to be sure to have no excuses for "no time" to exercise.

I've decided to stay part time, probably until the Spring, when the full time position opens up at TCU.

When to start?  Well, my feet are still feeling pretty good from the steroid shot. (that was amazing) I'm feeling mostly better from the lung sickness (that was pretty awful.) So  I think I'll start the exercising Monday or Tuesday.  I'll start the diet planning this weekend or Monday.  I wish I could find all the S4L stuff that I had a few years ago.

It's going to happen . . . I think.

Me: My feet really hurt when I first get up in the morning
Dr: Let me see your feet . . . oh yeah your feet are . . . I haven't seen feet like this since ...
you need a rolling pin.
Me: I have a rolling pin.
Dr. I need a rolling pin, a solid mahogany one.
Me: Ok.
Dr. That's what my father told my mother he would give her for her wedding present, while they were on their first date. I wonder whereI can get a solid mahogany rolling pin.
Me: I don't know.
Dr. Maybe I should make one.
Me: I guess so.
Dr: You can use a regular rolling pin, or a Dr. Pepper bottle.
Me: For what?
Dr. Your feet.

I have a "friend" on Facebook (yes read those quotes as intended) who is very opinionated.  She's an atheist and she's always railing against anything Christians and all the "dumb" things Christians do. She's Californian, so she's always going off on Texans and rednecks.  She practices "attached parenthood" so she's always against "scheduling children."  It goes on and on.  I think many of her posts are silly and some even offensive. I've often wondered how I could stop seeing her posts without actually unfriending her.  I mean, I don't want to not be her friend, I want to be able to comment to her  on her page if I feel like it.  I want to be able to email her if I want to, I just don't care to see all her posts and her comments of other people's posts.

Besides, unfriending feels weird.

So, today she made a comment about how she was going to unfriend people who are always making religious comments, because they bored her.

People were commenting and saying, "yeah, you should, those people are hypocrites anyway."  Really? Now all Religious people are hypocrites?  Blanket.  Thanks for you open mindedness.

So I made a comment because 1.  I was feeling sassy and 2. she quit and she's not my boss any more :0)

I thought I was being not rude- but maybe I was wrong, as the comment got deleted and a new comment by her was posted which said, If you don't like what I post about you should unfriend me, I've unfriended people for lots of reasons, like moaning about a relationship for too long, or always selling something or just long repetitive posts.

I wish I would have copied my post so that I knew exactly what I said, but is was something like this

Hypocrisy is a problem for all people.  It's fair warning to tell people you will unfriend them, but people like to post about what they believe in.  You often post about what you believe in. You shouldn't unfriend people for what they believe in, you should unfriend them because they aren't your friends.

I looked to see if she unfriended me, but I guess I'm not religious enough . . . YET!

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Occationally I get the idea that I want to learn French.  I have that feeling right now.  I'm in the modern languages lab at TCU and I started listening to the French lab homework and realized I could pick out about 75% of French one lesson one video.  So I started wondering when French classes were held, if I could take one, and how much it would cost. 

I often think (and say) that I don't want to learn anything new, but the truth is I like learning new things.  I know that's why I hardly ever repeat a knitting or crochet or sewing pattern.  Once I have conquered a pattern I feel accomplished and move on.  There are so many things I would like make again, but there are so many more things that I would like to make for the first time.

Maybe someday I will learn French . . .

I'm interviewing for my job tomorrow.

Awkward!

I've had this job for 2 years.  I never interviewed, I got a call that said, "Hey you want this job?"  and I said, "Yes."

Because they are now opening up benefits, everyone has to reapply and interview for their jobs if they want to keep them.

I've got to go read The Great Gatsby.

Our offices at work are being renovated so we are temporarily being housed in one of the "smart buildings" on campus.  The rooms don't have key locks, but swipe cards locks.  I don't even need to use the swipe lock because the doors also have timed locks.  Today I was in my classroom and at 1:00 the doors automatically locks and all the computers (including the one I was using) shut down.

Drat!

Stupid smart building.

The other day I was in the store when a woman commented on how cute EJ was.  I said thanks.  She said, "Look at those cheeks!  I just want to bite them!"  I looked at her.  Then she said, "In a good way."

She wants to bite by baby in a good way  . . .

But really I knew what she meant.  I have a friend who said that when she had her babies she wanted to eat them, and some times she would nibble on their fingers and toes.  She was concerned about her desire to eat her young (especially as she's a vegetarian) so she talked to her therapist about it and she said it wasn't that uncommon.

Weird.

I've never wanted to eat my baby, but I have had to urge to lick her.  Ok I HAVE licked her, once . . . or twice or so.

It was less about deliciousness and more about grooming, I wanted to lick her like a mamma cat licks a kitten.

Odd.

It's always like that!  As soon as you say something, you realize you have been mistaken.  I found the broom.  It wasn't the dogs, it was the tricksy elves who hid it behind the stove.  (Where I looked before I bought the new broom by the way.)

I can still blame it on baby brain. :0)