Yesterday in class, the gerunds and infinitives were even boring me to death. I switched to prepositions, but it wasn't enough- I had to get candy and dancing involved.

I gave them a gumdrop and a toothpick for each correct answer on the worksheet. Then I told them to build something from the gumdrops and tooth picks. They built a house (with a satillite) a church, and a rollar coaster. They also built some very thin people and dogs. That was a pretty good diversion. Then we still had 40 minutes left in class, and one student wanted to leave early- I said "No way man!"
He said, "What if I dance for you, then can we leave early?"
Now that is a pretty good trade off- yes indeed.

I agreeded that I would let the whole class go 10 minutes early if he got in the front of the room and danced for 30 seconds.

He finally agreed and got up and did one of those Russian squat and kick dances. It was awesome- I should have gotten a picture! It was harder than he thought it would be, so he was huffing and puffing by the time it was over.

Ah- grammar, candy and dancing. It was a good day.

Drat! My bread machine pooped out. I've ruined three loaves now, it's not my bad measuring, it's not the bad yeast, it's the bad machine. Now I'm going to have to go pay $20 at Salvation Army for a "new" one! I suppose I could look into an actual new one. Nah!

I'm not making fun of my students, I am enjoying them. A quote for all to enjoy.

"Movies are the real entertaining shows for the humans. I also like movies. "

On a different note, my stupid little dog is going around the house licking all the cob webs out from under the cabinents. Then, of course they get stuck on his nose, so he has to sit there and try to rub them off with his paws.

On a similar note, he keeps falling off the back of the sofa and landing on my ficus.

I had my students writing poetry today because we were studying journalism. Once I thought through the chain of what led me from journalism to poetry, I realized I’m an awesome teacher!

Or a really scattered one- I choose awesome.

Our chapter is about how journalism and news is shaped by the powers that own the media corporations. To show them the difference between good reporting and bad reporting I brought in an old copy of the “Weekly World News.” I had them “analyze” stories with headlines like, “How to tell if you’ve been abducted by aliens” and “Man electrocuted to death by a lightning bug.”

I recalled in the movie “So I married an ax murderer” the main character thought his wife might be an ax murder because of an article he read in a tabloid. The main character was also a poet. I thought, “If I throw in poetry this week, we can watch “So I married an as murder” in class and it will be considered a tie-in for the unit we just finished!”

So- poetry in class today. I had them do Haikus first. I had them each write one. Most of them were too shy to share what they had written, so I told them to only write the first line. Then I told them to trade papers, so nobody would be embarrassed to hear their poem because each poem was written by three people.

My favorite Haiku:

My pretty meadow
Pretty pretty meadow wow!
I really want it.

Then I had them write a four line “semi structured” poem, it had three dependant clauses and one independent clause.

My favorite clause poems:

Even you get hurt,
Even you are crazy,
Even I am still writing even,
In the end, I’m a crazy person.

But there’s more:

Although I have good personalities,
But I am not sure about me,
Although I hate myself,
I’m a perfect LADY in the world!

One more:

Because I have to go to restroom,
So I left you in the trash,
And, sorry, you have to wait for me,
See you tomorrow at the same time.

They crack me up.

On Sunday I randomly (well, I picked by location) picked a church off the internet yellow pages. I went to Northgate Baptist Church (I think.) Also chosen on account that it started at 10:45, and it was 10:15 when I started looking. I pulled into the parking lot and wondered if I had written down the wrong time. There were three cars in the lot. I went in and there were three people in the congregation- no there were about 20- but seated in a church building intended for 200 it felt awkward.

There was a piano and an organ, but no piano player or organ player. The Hymns (not repetitive praise songs thank you) were led by a 70 something year old man singing to prerecorded music. The preacher was middle aged and slightly unorganized. The people were friendly, and about 10 people came in late- later than me.

At the end of the sevice I asked if there was any literature about the church I could take with me. They asked if I wanted Sunday School literature. I said,"No, I meant something like church history, or affiliation." They gave me Sunday School literature. It did have the Doctrines of the church on the inside cover.

Then out of the blue, this old guy (70-something song leader) tells me that they are a "closed communion" church. I said, "Oh- ok." But I guess I looked sufficiently surprised that he felt he needed to explain.
He said, "We believe only church members should take communion."
I said, "Do you mean only Christians, or only Baptists or only people who belong to this church?"

He meant people who belonged to that church- and he gave me some blah-blah about disciples and apostles and what Jesus wanted for church membership rules- which was all kinds of out of order and nonsensical. He said, "I'm not real smart about these things, but this is what our church believes." I just said, "Okay." I was willing to leave it at that, but then he said, "Well, I hope you agree with me."

I didn't want to slap down the whole "Bible College and Seminary" card, so I just said, "Actually, I don't agree with that because I travel and move alot, and if I only took communion at the church were I was a member, I don't think I'd get to take communion very often."

He kept talking as though he were going to "convert" me to closed communion, and I kept thinking, "Is this why this church only has 20 people? Am I not good enough for your crackers and grape juice? Does Jesus really require all this paper work?"

Finally I said,"I understand your beief, I just don't agree." Then he said, "Well, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but your belief doesn't have any Biblical support." It's a good thing he was an old guy- my believe doesn't have any Biblical support?! What he told me was supposed to pass for support of his belief? I'm thinking not so much.

Back in the day I spent alot of time thinking and discussing about communion- and one day I shall record all my shiney little thoughts on the topic-but now I must be off to bed with me. May I not dream about that little old man and his closed communions.

So, this past weekend- first I went to this radio station survey- they called me a few weeks ago and asked me if I listen to country music. I said, "Yeah, sometimes." So they said they would give me $50 if I came and did this survey. I said, "Heck yeah!" I have done much more for much, much less.

There were about 100 people at the survey. They played about 5 seconds of 500 songs. I marked down on a bubble sheet if it was F- favorite L- liked N-neutral D-don't like, H-heard too much or U-unfamiliar or something like that- as if I can keep all that straight, I've slept since then!

It wasn't bad- but it did take an hour and a half.

Then I took my $50 and went to Joann Fabrics and bought just one skein of yarn.

Then I went to California Pizza Kitchen to partake in what I credit as one of the nerdiest things I've ever done.

They called it 'meat space.' or maybe it was 'meet space.' Either way- nerdy. I started playing World of Warcraft and this was a meeting of people who play the game together (but alone, at home in front of the computer) So it was a bunch of people who knew each other by means of magical, imaginary characters. They were all talking in the speacial WoW languge of things still unknown to me. I told one of my co-workers about it and how weird it was, she said, "Don't worry, it will all seem normal if you keep doing it." Yes, and well, that's what I'm afraid of. What convinced me to go? Well it was at California Pizza Kitchen after all! (It's my favorite.)

I even told them I thought attending that meeting was possibly the nerdiest thing ever- one of them tried to convince me dressing up for the Ren. fair was more nerdy- but I wasn't convinced. Then they started talking about Sci-Fi/Fantacy conventions- and told me that if I've never gone/dressed up for one of those, I haven't lived nerdy, haven't even tasted it! Then they started ignoring me and comparing convention stories. WoW.

I was telling my students about the differenct between newspapers and tabloids . . . bat boy came up.

I thought before I started this vacation time that about half way through I would get bored silly and be wishing that work would start again. But- it turns out I’m really good at not working! Yes, I’ve grown. I remember when a month with no money and nothing to do made me crazy as a loon- but now I’m just fine with the situation. I haven’t even done half the things I could have done in this time. It’s a shame.

I did sleep a lot- a real lot. I shouldn’t sleep so much, but it is so easy. I’ve been drawing, knitting, crocheting, I sewed a project or two- watched many episodes of Bones and some Quantum Leap as well. I started playing an online computer role playing kind of game. I didn’t think I’d like that either, but killing imaginary creatures with magic fire balls- it’s good fun.

I tried out some step aerobic videos- awful, just awful. I’ve given up on trying to find a fun exercise to do by myself. There is no such stinking thing! I’ve decided that if I have to exercise alone- I might as well just jog around the block a few times and get it over with.

I’ve thought about making some resolutions, but I know if I had made any I would have already broken them by now- so why bother? My month-a-lusions are a much better system for me. I shall start them next month.

I’ve been out to the craft stores a lot in the past weeks- the yarn and the pencils- they suck me in! I’ve noticed that the Valentine decorations are out. It’s vulgar in a way- I mean the DAY AFTER Christmas there are hearts and flowers everywhere! I’ve also seen shamrocks and eggs- but I’ve gotta take it one at a time, and I really like Valentine’s Day. I’m not sure why- it’s not like I’ve had so many great Valentine’s Day stories to tell, but I suppose I’m an eternal optimist about it.

Potential month-a-lusion #1: write a blog at least three times a week.

Oooh! I got another class this semester! (Yeah me!) That’s some extra bucks for me- and I know just what I want! I’ve been eyeballing this super fancy Nikon SLR digital camera since October. One of my student’s brought his to a school event and his pictures were so beautiful! Not that a camera automatically always takes beautiful pictures regardless of the photographer’s eye- but let’s face it- the chances of amazing pictures are much higher when you do have an awesome camera.

Potential month-a-lustion #2: read my Bible every day

It’s not that hard- but then it’s not that easy either. There are certainly days when I can think of a million other things to do. I’ve been reading Judges. I’m socked that I went to 3 years of Bible college and 2 years of seminary and I still didn’t remember that Samson was a judge. I guess I never actually studied the book of Judges- huh. Of course I know the story, but for some reason I thought he was just a guy who happened to have long hair and be strong . . . ass’s jawbone . . . Philistines . . . I should really pay more attention. It’s embarrassing.

I took Buzz to Fort Woof- the dog park in Fort Worth (clever eh?) Things were going great, he was sniffing around the fence, peeing miniscule amounts on every post, table, weed, and blade of grass he could find, when all of the sudden this big dog came barreling toward us screaming it's head off.

It was that screaming sound a dog emits when it is either really hurt or really scared. It was a rottweiler. She was screaming “Help me! Help me! I’m being chased by a wild animal.” At least that’s what I think she was screaming- in doggie language.

She was probably too big to be in the “small dog” park. She was only a puppy- but even puppy rottweilers can be big- and she was. She was running toward any help she could get-and I happened to be the closet human in the line of the chase. I saw what was chasing her. She was right, it was a wild animal- it was a ferocious miniature poodle- a little white one with extra curly fur.

Well, Buzz didn’t like that screaming, nor the bulling- not one bit. He’s a peace keeping kind of dog, unless of course he’s the one picking the fight. So he jumped right in and started barking at the poodle.

In the mean time, the humans who belonged to the rotweiler were trying to figure out what he heck had happened to their dog. I was trying to tell the puppy she was okay, and the poodle was trying to figure out what the fuss was all about. I think he just wanted to play- but when things escalated into a running-screaming-chasing scenario he just went along with it.

But the picture of a rotweiler being chased by a miniature poodle, and a miniature dachshund defending the rotweiler against the poodle- that just make me laugh.

I've been visiting churches lately. And by "visiting churches" I mean I've taken several weeks, to convince myself that going to one church or another is a good idea, dragged myself to a service and felt tortured the full time I was attending service and/or Sunday school.

I think the problem is the size. Size does matter.

I am used to small churches. I guess I just like them better.

The church I went to last month disturbed me when the swing band up on stage started blasting out "It is Well With My Soul" full horns and drums. The worship leader was snapping and swiveling his hips in a way that would have made Elvis proud and I was thinking, 'This is a song written by a man who had just lost his three daughters! I don't imagine him swing dancing across the deck as his ship passed over the waters where his children drown.'

In the church I went to today the pastor kept saying, "Does your heart beat a skip?" I know I'm way too critical- but it so easy when they hand it to me like that. It makes my little ESL heart beat a skip.

The Sunday school teacher was telling a joke: Let me see if I can remember it- An atheist was angry about the fact that everyone had holidays to celebrate except him- so he got a lawyer and said, "Look, the Christians have Easter and Christmas, the Jews have Hannakah and Lent- . . ." It is at this point that that my head tilted to the right and I thought, 'Did he just say the Jews have Lent?!'

And the rest of what he had to say was out the window- I mean if he thinks the Jews own Lent, what's the point of going on?

But the rest of the joke- the Jews have Lent- and I demand a holiday for atheists! So they went to court and presented the case. The judge listened, but when the argument was presented he slammed his gavel down and said, this case is dismissed! The atheist said, "What! I want a holiday!" The judge responded, "In the Psalms it says, "The fool says in his heart there is no God." You have a holiday, it is April 1st."

That was just a filler, the projector was down, and obviously it was useless to try to give a speach off a piece of paper when there was a perfectly malfunctioning powerpoint projector in the room.

The joke didn't fill the whole time the projector was down, so some other guy got up to give an announcement- he asked us when they should move the class time to (how could I know?) and told us we needed to be "Kinda specific."

Kinda specific.
Really.

I've been so industrious this weekend. It's easy to be industrious when you know you don't have to go to work on Monday. Usually I just sit around thinking that I'm going to have to think of some lesson plans before I go to work on Monday.

I made potato soup and bread bowls. Potato soup- easy. Bread bowls-kinda hard. Neither of them turn out to be espcially yummy. They were both okay though.

I hung some curtains in my bedroom, I rearranged my books- well most of them any way. I put my clothes, which had been piled on the floor for un-numberd days, away; I finished one school bus yellow sock and started the second one. I made a tiny little panda with no obvious purpose in life- aside from being cute of course.

I learned how to make a colonial knot, as French knots are apparently impossible to one such as I. I made a list of all the other things I need to do this week with my fountain pen. :) I went to church this morning . . . I don't know why every church is so weird to me these days. More on that later. AND I vaccumed!

Oh wait! I also put together a door shelf- and this is an accomplishment because lately I've been in this, "I wish somone would come and do this for me so I wouldn't have to read the directions" mood.

The left sock is the one I made, the right sock is the one my mom made a million years ago, and which I am using as a pattern for the new one. I think I could market them as "Sweaters for you feet and legs."

When I was in Jr High I had a facination with a boy named Josh and fountain pens. I'm totally over Josh, it turns out, that after close inspection of his wardrobe- he didn't change his pants often enough to convince my BFF (or until the end of 7th grade) that he was sanitary.

Eventually we gave up harrassing Josh and his unwashed pants, and I put away my fountain pens. Giving up on Josh, well, there's no question about that- it was certainly a good idea. But the fountain pens- I can't imagine why I gave up on them. I just found what's left of my collection- ink included. Fountain pens are so cool!

They look cool, when you write with them your writting looks cool, and the scratchy-scratchy sound they make on paper is cool. I dare say one even looks cooler when using one, perhaps just by association.

I shall once again be cool by associating with fountain pens.

Other news- Oh my job- I'm still working at UD- and my students are still cracking me up.

It's really a fun job- if only I had befits it would be perfect.

I asked one of my beginning students what she was going to do for Thanksgiving break (Whooo-Hooo! I get a whole week off!)
She said she was going to: "That place that has the machines you put money in them and you get something."
I thought: 'A vending machine convention?'
No: next guess- my job is alot about guessing what in the world they might want to be communicating to me:
Me: "A casino?"
How did I guess that? I have no idea- it's like pictionary or charades, you just start throwing things out until you get it.
Student: "Yes, yes! A casino!"
The nearest casino is in OK.
I said, "Are you going to Oklahoma?"
She said, "No."
The second nearest casion is in LA.
I asked, "Are you going to Louisinana?"
She said, "No."
She said, "I'm going to that place in the desert where there are many machines."
'robot land?'
Me: "Are you going to Las Vegas?"
Student: "Yes! Las Vegas- it is very famous.
"Me: "Yes, very famous- be careful."

I guess I'll hang out here- no money- no plans- but I do have socks to knit . . . books to read, movies to watch, lessons to prepare, etc.

I just reread that last sentence-I am in great need of locating some local friends! Maybe I'll make it my goal to find out where I can go to meet new and exciting people.

I'm knitting my aunt some tube socks. It's so mindless- I love it. Some knitting takes way too much thought- but tube socks not so much- and she just wants them to wear around the house, so I choose the ugliest color of yarn I had on hand. Someone gave it to me- it's school bus yellow. For some reason I just can't bear to turn down free yarn! Even if I can't think of a thing in the world I'd do with it- I must take free yarn! Otherwise it's just a little orphan ball of string nobody cares about! I know eventually I'll think of something for the free yarn- and here it is- tube socks.

I ordered some goodies from Amazon- a crockpot- which is delightful- my next "fix-it-and-forget-it, but-not-for-too-long" creation shall be potato soup with a chipoltle swirl. Yes, Yes, I know it shall be delicious!

I also ordered a humidifier- I was sick, and I felt that would help me- of course as soon as it showed up I started feeling better. I took it out of the box because, well, it's adorable. It is! It even says so on the package! "This adorable humidifier will blah-blah-blah. . . " It's shaped like a penguin, and smoke comes out of his beak- "This adorable smoking penguin is not a toy!"

When the weather gets colder and my skins starts doing the "I'm so dry I shall crack" thing, I'm turing the smoking penguin on!

The third thing I ordered never showed up! I suppose I don't really need it after all. I just thought it was funny. I suppose that I wouldn't really use it much, and I couldn't show it to many people as my little ole sense of humor apalls people sometimes.

It was a book called "Subversive Cross Stitch." It has all these little cutsie patterns peppered with naughty words that I never use in public, unless they are really really called for.

It didn't come, so I'm going to cancel that order and get something else that I will actually use, and not just pull out and giggle it once a year or so.

Neb V was over the other night for lentils- they were a bit too tomato-y but edible over a bit of Moroccan couscous. Buzz was salivating over his inane idea of eating the neighbor’s cat. Honestly- that cat weighs more than he does and with flattened ears and a raised paw a cat can send him away screaming like a baby who just lost his last piece of candy. Last time Mary’s cat got within two feet of him she sent him into a screaming episode that took him in a 20 foot circle around her yard. Ridiculous little dog.

Anyway- Neb V was making couscous. She was looking in the cabinet for a measuring cup when she stumbled upon my Nutella. This is not my first mention of Nutella- it is certainly like a nectar vastly popular in Europe and shamefully ignored in the American market. I had a Nutella crepe in Paris- heavenly- really. I found a jar at the international food mart, Zam Zam, which is just down the street. I had no idea that Zam Zam was an international food mart; I just had to stop in one day to find out what on earth it was. I mean just the name sounds so exciting- “Zam Zam!”

Neb V said, “Oh! Nutella- it reminds me of my childhood, growing up in Europe, I used to love Nutella for dinner.” My first thought was, ‘Oh, growing up in Europe, it sounds so- you know- fancy. “I grew spent my formative years in EUROPE darling!” My second thought was quick on first thought’s heals, ‘You can’t eat Nutella for dinner!’ I mean, anything is possible, but ewww! Nutella is a speadable chocolate-hazelnut jar of sweet yumminess. It has the consistency of peanut butter and the meltiness of milk chocolate.

She said it all depends how you go about your Nutella. She said she loved it with bread and butter. Sounded kinda ick to me, but what do I know? I didn’t grow up in Europe.

The Nutella episode got me to thinking about my childhood, and what reminds of my formative years. Gill Village- not quite so fancy as Europe to be sure, I dare say public housing never is.

I thought maybe generic items could be my thing- the old kind with black and white labels that actually said “generic” on them. Does anyone even make real generic items? I think it has all moved to store brands. My next memory was used condoms in the play ground- but no I don’t frequent play grounds much any more- and I have no occasion to come across used condoms either. Free government cheese? Unlike M&Ms, which melted in your mouth, not in your hands, that stuff didn’t melt anywhere, for anything- it was dreadful.

“Green Things” remind me of that time. There was a Green Thing in each lot. I have no idea what those Green Things were; some kind of electrical boxes. Most of them were about two and a half feet tall and two feet wide. There was a big Green Thing in the lot next to mine- we called it “The Big Green Thing,” imaginative group of youngsters that we were. If you touched a bolt on top of The Big Green Thing with one hand, and touched the back side of The Big Green Thing with your other hand, you could feel a shock run from one hand, across your chest to the other hand. One day we decided to scientifically measure the strength of the current. Our science determined that the current was strong enough to run through 4 children if we all held hands and one touched a bolt and the other touched the back of The Thing.

Who pays attention to green electrical boxes any way? Have you noticed them? They look like this:

No- I finally came up with THE thing that reminds me of that time of my life. Cinnamon rolls. Not just any kind of natty-day old-rubbery icing-cinnamon rolls. I mean real, fluffy, hot, sticky, sweet, fresh cinnamon rolls. My mother didn’t like to bake much, but she was an expert at cinnamon rolls. There was no telling when the cinnamon roll mood might strike- (just one of the many unexpected pleasures of living with an undiagnosed manic depressive.) When the cinnamon rolls appeared, there were no rules about how many we could eat- because we all knew, including my mother, that cinnamon rolls could not be saved- they were only good hot out of the oven.

I attribute my weakness for Cinnabon and green electrical boxes to these formative childhood memories.

I've decided to start up my month-alutions again. Every month I choose a resolution to keep for the month- I've already started my month-alution for November- to finish the projects I've started before stating any more.

I've finished my "Neopolitan" scarf. Someone gave me this yarn- I thought and thought about what I could possibly make out of the "dusty rose" color. It's not my favorite, but I couldn't part with perfectly good yarn just because it's not my favorite color- that's discrimination. I put these three colors together because they remind me of ice cream- ummm ice cream . . .

Only about 10 more projects to finish . . . :)

Other month-alutions- starte looking for a church, save some $, take my dog on more walks- these aren't all for this month, just ideas for coming months- I don't want to get too ambitious.

So I hung up my stuff on my walls today. I'm slowly getting things in place so that it doesn't look like an inside garage sale in here. I need another book shelf to finish in the living room, then I can start in my bedroom.

We are having a Halloween picnic at work-I think it will be fun- I like Halloween. I'm also looking forward to Christmas- all the decorations out make me happy. I know it's way too early- but they still make me happy- I think the anticipation is fun. I wish I had space for a tree- but I don't really- and I don't really have any decorations for one either. Just random ornaments here and there.

Who wants to invite me for tree decorating? I think I could be happy decorating someone else's tree- then come home and put up my radiation nativity and 1 foot tree-decorated with earings and necklaces.

I promise not to vomit mucus on your Christmas decorations!

I would officially like to ammend my previous entry for the grossest thing I've ever done from popping a zit in my ear (it was really ick- I could actually hear it pop, and I felt the puss shoot out and logde under my fingernail) to vomiting mucus on to my keyboard- then then cleaning up the vomited mucus off my keyboard- I'll will count those two actions as one total gross event.

It was like somekind of alien/horor movie. As if vomit isn't bad enough- it was mucus from my rather severe sinus drainage. I was just coughing when blahhhh! There it was on my keyboard all slimy and smelly. It was all so sudden- there was no time to react- do you know how smoothly mucus comes up? It's like lighting- honestly. Lucky for me, very little of the bean soup came up with the mucus-the came up later, and not nearly as smoothly.

They keyboard seems to be alright, but my spacebar is sticking a little-- blame it on the alien mucus.

It's cold today. I could see my breath this morning. It was cold and rainy and windy yesterday- it would have been a good day to stay in bed, but taking a day off is not an option with this job.

A person sure can get used to new work situations quickly. I do miss those three day weekends in Bangalore- and now I'm only actually at work 20 hours a week. I have lots of things to do outside of my 20 hours of work time, but I can do them at home or where ever I want. That's nice.

I should be doing a lesson plan right now . . .

I thought I might have some interesting facts to write about- but I suppose I was just trying to find something to avoid the lesson plans- back to the plans for me then.