This is Mr. Pistachio D. Dangley. He was born in a time of great tribulation- as a result he has deep emotional trauma (and a weak neck, but don't bring it up, he's sensitive about it.) He wears a fuzzy brown scarf to hide his neck- but nothing can hide his pain.

He acts out at the most inappropriate times. He's a pyromaniac and he's in love with a dog who doesn't know his name.

Under his minty exterior his bad through and through- even his stuffing is black-
I shall endeavor to rehabilitate him, but my hopes are slim for such a creature.

More on Mr. Dangley as he progresses through his treatments.

Yesterday was the big Divalli celebration- I went out twice to take Buzz- who was too nervous by all the goings on to do any strategic urination or defication- as a matter of fact he walked and poo-ed at the same time to save time in getting back to the apt.

There were constant fire works from 8 AM to 12AM yesterday. It was like living in a freaking war zone!

Today I'm sick- I'm guessing from all the gun powder smoke- ugh.

There are still some crackers going off today- but not nearly as many as yesterday.

I went to fine the scooter rental place today- but somebody gave me the wrong directions- or maybe I'm just blind- because I looked and looked and couldn't see it anywhere near where I was told it would be. Of course there's no listngin the Bangalore Yellow Pages.

I saw on line that I could buy a scooter for about $300. I should have thought of that months ago!

I'm hungry but I can't think of anything worth my effort to eat.

Being sick and scooterless sucks.

To feel homely away from home, come see the facilities we provide for you at resonalabe cost for a safe stay near M S RAMAIAH HOSPITAL . 24 hour security,with parking.fully furnished hall with TV and . . .

I don't want to feel homely away from home!

Indian personal adds are full of men looking for "homely" women, which here means they know how to run a home. (I think)

I'm doing scooter research because I really like scooters. I want one- a Vespa I could afford- honestly Twikes are out of my range.

Here is an informative article I read: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/10862/a_beginners_guide_to_scooters.html

I point it out because at the bottem there are comments, one made by Dr. David Leader, who says: "I am a serious scooterist."

Is there such a thing as a serious scooterist? Because just the word scooter is silly let alone "scooterist." That's just over the top silly.

I will now dedicate my life to being a serious scooterist. This shall be my goal hensforth.

There was an accident in my part of town tonight. I saw my first "rescue van." Which looked to me like a fire truck. A had brake failure and lost control and killed ten pedestrians.

Then the people who saw it were so upset they set the van on fire.

The whole store is out of my range of understanding- at least it would have been before I came here.

First- it killed ten pedestrians? That's a lot of people! I was just walking in that area yesterday. I could have been killed by a runaway Volvo! Just walking down the street minding your own business and then you and nine of your sidewalk buddies are gone.

Then- when do you as a shocked bystander go from horror at seeing what you just saw to burning the van that caused the accident?

I would like a twike.

http://www.twike.us/

I got some sea monkeys.

I have internet at home now-I have the power of the universe! HA-HAA!

I don't even care that it is now impossible to completely close my window- that there is a big fat crazy long grey cable running across the walk way to the front door that I will most likely trip over on a daily basis- I am on line! And I'm downloading Grey's Anatomy!

The world wide web is my oyster.

Dear Ms.Peterson,

It is the payment of the duty/tax amount that is an issue at the moment. I do realize that at this point of time the delivery of the shipment is of utmost importance rather than the payment. Though procedure requires that these duties should be billed to the consignee, I have instructed the clearance team to have this charge credited to you along with the other charges as well as gesture of goodwill. We’d definitely like to avoid any further delay on this shipment. You will be informed about the procedure to proceed with the clearance tomorrow.

Once again, I apologise for all the inconvenience you have faced during the last three weeks.

This is the Indian way of say- "Okay we're tired of being yelled at about this! Give us a freaking break already! Here's your crap now get off our backs!"

I shall have it tomorrow Inshallah.

http://www.dallas.edu/News_Articles/10YrReunion/index.cfm

my college is having a ten year reunion now- jeez!

well, it's not really 10 for me yet, but it's a small school, so they are inviting three classes 95, 96, 97

anyway I saw a picture of myself on the announcement site :) I look so studious

I just had a political argument. How silly of me. Admittedly I'm not politically inclined and since most people my age violently disagree with me I usually just stop listening and don’t comment. It is my opinion that no matter what a leader does in a time of crisis half of the population will think it was wrong. To be honest I’m just tired of every wrong in the world being placed on Bush.

She said: “Bush should not have gone to war with Iraq after 911.”
I asked: “What should he have done?”
She didn’t answer, so I kept asking, “What should he have done?”
Finally she said he should have done nothing.

So- when an iconic city of the Superpower of the world is attacked and thousands of civilians are senselessly killed, when the physical center of the government is targeted-then the leader of that Superpower should sit on his thumbs and say, “Gosh I wish that wouldn’t have happened.”

Makes sense to me.

My point was only I thought he had to do something. I’m not saying invading Iraq was the right something- but I also don’t think it was a totally wrong something. What happened in Iraq? 1. Lots of people got killed. – lots of people were being killed before we invaded. 2. Weapons of mass destruction were not found- well now we know right? If the UN would have been able to investigate in the first place it couldn't have been used as an excuse. 3. A cruel, murderous dictator and government officials were deposed and held accountable for war crimes and crimes against humanity. 4. Terrorists who may or may not have been aided by above cruel murderous dictator and government officials were at the very least distracted from further terrorist plans against the USA and warned that the Superpower wasn’t sitting on its thumbs.

I stand by the idea that he couldn’t do “nothing.” And starting with a known evil is better than waiting to get blown up.

If someone can tell me what he could have done and it makes more sense then:
“Nothing.”
Or
“He could have made up a pretend country and pretend people in that country and made a movie of a war and how we beat them up and won and shown it on the news” I will certainly listen to you and consider your point.

As long as I’m at it: Bill Clinton- liar, cheater, perjurer-- and anyone who doesn’t think he was serving his own self interests as much as W is must be delusional. A man who can not be trusted in his own home cannot be trusted at all.

She said it wasn't illegal to have an affair. Well why was he on trial? Seriously I was in Cyprus I missed the whole thing. Why did he perjurer himself if he didn't know it was wrong, and serious and illegal?

She said she would rather have a leader screwing his intern than one starting wars where thousands of Americans would die.

I thought (didn’t say because this gets to a point in an argument were people start looking at me like I’m an absolute monster) 1. Clinton didn’t have time to start a war as he was too busy lying, cheating and screwing. 2. Clinton didn’t have an occasion to start a war because his country wasn’t under attack. 3. (Here’s the monster part) Every soldier in Iraq was a military volunteer. They knew what they were getting into. I’ll join war protests the day there is a mention of a draft.

She said she was sure the USA would not longer be a country in 50 years.

She told me all the wrongs and I asked her how anything she mentioned was different than any other country in the world. She agreed they weren’t different- but the US was more afflicted.

Heck if it’s only going to last 50 years I better get back and enjoy it quick!

I was at the grocery store the other day desperately seeking salsa- well truthfully I had given up on salsa deciding to make my own- and was at that point desperately seeking tortilla chips- but that doesn’t just roll off the tongue does it?

I hadn’t been to that store before so I was going over it very carefully- taking stock of what was available. In the soaps and shampoo isle I noticed a little bottle of hair oil used to get rid of lice. As soon as I saw it my head started violently itching and I was thoroughly convinced I had all manner of lice bugs living productive little lives on my scalp and hair.

I threw it in the basket. I went on to find tortilla chips and maple syrup. (Score!)

When I got home I tried not to think about the community living on my head. ‘This is one of the things I do.’ I told myself. I start thinking about lice and become convinced I have it. My head starts itching and every little bit of dandruff is suspect. I then told myself to calm down because first I needed to have this stuff handy when I really did get lice and second, it’s hair oil I’d have to leave in for hours. I didn’t really relish the thought of walking around with totally oily hair. That’s kinda icky.

I threw the anti-lice oil in a drawer and started eating bad tortilla chips.

As the days pasted, my head got itchier- I saw more little white specks- and every once in a while I would go outside and see women sitting together like monkeys picking through each other’s hair . . . Yesterday I noticed a tick the size of Montana between Buzz’s toes. I burned it off, but it sent me over the edge, I couldn’t take it any more! I just knew there were lice bugs getting fat off my blood!

(Just writing about this is making my head itchy.)

Today I greased my head up with the anti-lice hair oil. I noticed the puja kits Hindus use to get themselves ready for worship came with lice combs. I bought one. I came to work today with slicked back super oily hair. J

Several people commented that I looked tanner today. I think it was the greasy hair that made them associate me with someone with darker skin. I now understand why so many Indians use hair oil. Non-animal oils irritate lice. It really gets on their tiny little nerves and they will start fighting and breaking up with you if you keep using it.

I know this is true because my first best friend, Mikey’s, grandmother told me and my mom so when I was four. I got lice for real when I was four; and my mom went to tell Mikey’s grandmother (because he lived with her) that she better check him too because he probably had it. Mikey’s grandmother said, “Black folks don’t get no lice.” My mom said, “Oh,” and “Who woulda thunk?” and “Why not?” Mikey’s grandmother said it was because the lice don’t like the grease black folks use to keep their hair from getting too dried out and nappy.

What a happy by-product no naps and no lice.

Most Indians ain’t got no naps- they have beautiful full straight black hair. Oiled hair.
I didn’t know why they oiled it- but now I get it. It’s the happy by-product they are after.

I wonder if that's why Bible people poured oil on their heads and beards too.

Customer: “What’s your name?”
SE: “Jeethu”
Customer: “G2?”
SE: “Yeah.”
Customer: “HA! Like R2D2!”
SE: “Uh- yeah.”

I dreamed the other night that my brother studied "Smith numbers" and that these numbers had something to do with medicine.

I've never heard of "Smith numbers" before.

So I looked them up on Google, feeling pretty sure there was no such thing.

Behold my error:

http://www.math.eku.edu/PJCostello/smith.htm

Smith Numbers

One interesting property of some positive integers came into existence because of a phone call. In 1982, Harold Smith called his brother-in-law, mathematician Albert Wilansky of Lehigh University, with the observation that his phone number was composite and the sum of the digits in the phone number equals the sum of the digits in its prime factors. Wilansky published this observation [6] and it was the birth of Smith numbers.

We introduce two arithmetic functions and then restate the definition of Smith numbers in terms of these two functions. Let S(N) represent the sum of the digits in N. Let Sp(N) represent the sum of the digits in the primes in the factorization of N. For example, Sp(12) = Sp(2*2*3) = 2+2+3 =7.

Definition. A composite integer N is called Smith if S(N) = Sp(N).

Well, I don't know what all this means, nor do I know what they have to do with medicine.

No work tomorrow! "There is a bandh (general strike) on Wednesday October 4, 2006 called by pro-Kannada organization."
Party on!
I guess it's some kind of state border dispute . . . whatever- another day off for me.

Most people believe that a grain of sand defined by the power drill laughs and drinks all night with a nearest freight train, but they need to remember how accurately another spartan reactor procrastinates. If a parking lot carelessly requires assistance from the feline bottle of beer, then a defendant around a minivan daydreams. A jersey cow about a corporation is resplendent. Any parking lot can secretly admire a photon inside the fundraiser, but it takes a real class action suit to derive perverse satisfaction from the annoying paper napkin. A stovepipe somewhat pees on the paternal short order cook. A ball bearing defined by the skyscraper operates a small fruit stand with a hockey player over the sheriff. A tabloid beyond the wheelbarrow caricatures a squid about a vacuum cleaner. A lover caricatures the fairy related to the bottle of beer, and a worldly chain saw figures out an apartment building. The pig pen from a sandwich seeks a movie theater from a blood clot, but some cough syrup from some football team barely organizes a fighter pilot.

I got this as a junk email - this is only the first paragraph there was more than page of this stuff . . . strangly enough the punctuation, spelling and grammar all seem to be correct.

The football boys.

The football boys came to me with a great story. I'd say a story worth at least the approximately $2.00 that I gave them. (FYI that is a crazy amount of money to give to people begging here in India, the general practice is to give not more than 5 or 6 Rupees which is about 15 cents.)

They introduced themselves as John, John and (don't remember the boy in red, but his shirt says "Christian Boys" and I thought that was cute. They told me they are good Christian boys. They told me their fathers were fishermen, but the water was too rough- and fishing wasn't good now. They told me they were very good football (soccer) players, and did I like football?

I told them I didn't really follow it. They told me their team could win a championship, but unfortunalty, they could not play. It was so sad. (They let me me know.) They told me the reason they could not win is because they could not play, and the reason they could not play was that (dramatic pause) they didn't have a football.

They told me that they could buy one and play if only they had 450 Rupees (about $9.00.) I told them I was not going to give them 450Rps. But I would give them some money- and if Igave them money they had to promise that they would not ask me for any more money the rest of the weekend.

They promised.

I have them 100 Rps. They were so happy! They promised they would dedicate the football to me- in a special ceremony and that the would always remember me when they played. (Great- dedicate a ball to me then remember me while they kick the crap out of it.)

Later in the weekend they had gathered around me again to follow me around the beach- and chat about their village and the Jesus statue on the beach and whatnot when another boy came to ask for money and they chased him away.

They were good boys after all.

Ok, yeah- I ate them- it would have been different (I think) if they had been alive, swimming around in the milk- but they were already dead- besides ants are considered a delicious snack in Guatemala.