I've been reading my car manual. I know, nobody actually reads car manuals, uh- I guess I'm nobody.

It's mildly entertaining. At first I was convinced that it was just crazy repetitive because they don't want to get sued- but that doesn't jive with the other quality it has of being pretty hard to understand. The writing is squirlly- like it should be clear to understand how to "manually unlock the driver's side door" since I've done that task many times on other cars, but it seemed really complicated when I read it in the manual. Like, "Whoa- I don't know if I can do THAT!"

I've sometimes wondered if manuals are written by people who are so unhappy with their lives that they have decided to torture the rest of us with poorly worded instructions. That, however, I do not believe to be the case for this Toyota manual. I now believe that it was written by people struggling to master the English language. It looks pretty good most of the time, then I come across a sentence like this: "When returning the seatback upright, be careful not to make yourself hit by the seatback which will bound with considerable spring force."

I will now never be able to say "Well, Toyota didn't warn me that I could make myself hit by the bounding seatback if I didn't use care!" No- they have warned me, and now I must heed that warning.

Another thing about my car- I have a remote door unlock- The actual remote also works as the ignition key. There are however regular key holes on the doors of the car. Right? I mean, all cars have key holes, or do they? I realized only yesterday that I didn't actually have a key for the key hole. Wait a minute- I do have a key hole don't I? I looked out my apartment window- Hmpht- I don't see one on the passenger side door- odd. I can't take the suspense, I had to go outside and check it out.

In fact there is no key hole on the passenger's side door- there is not key hole on the hatch door- but there is a key hole on the driver's side door. That means there must be a key. Turns out there is a 'secret' key on the remote that only opens the driver's side door- because as it turns out, that's the only door with a key hole.

I better keep reading the manual.

SOCKTOPUS!!

I just looked at some of my old blogs- older, a few weeks ago blogs.
Update: I finished the elf, I finished the dragon, I finished the owl, last night I finished some tiny safety cones, which like all other above mentioned things, have no real purpose aside from being cute.
I have one leg left on the the 'socktopus' (octopus wearing socks.) What? I didn't make it up, I'm just following the pattern. It's wearing tube socks, ever so cute- really.
Next, on to the doxie I started some time ago, and fix the scarves that aren't quite right. I have other plans and projects too- but one day and project at a time seems to be working for me right now.
Pictures of many projects and things to follow . . . eventually.

I gotta new car . . . yeah me!

The other morning I had a dream about an old friend; a friend I haven’t seen in many years, since college. With so many years between us, I wonder that I still call him friend, but he is. Maybe he is like what Anne of Green Gables called a “bosom friend.”

In my dream we talked of the things we used to talk about, life and love and God and how to build an outhouse. We talked about the past and the future, about sin and redemption and summer storms that break before you expect them to. We talked about Jesus and Abraham Lincoln and the Great State of Texas. After we had talked about rivers and forests and other wonders we’ve seen we talked about ourselves.

I pointed out the grey hairs at his temples and the white hairs in my part. We talked about work and family and loss and blessings.

When I woke up I was happy to have spent the morning with an old friend.

I used to have dreams of meaning more often. This was a dream of meaning. I don’t know yet what it means- that he has experienced blessings or needs prayer, one is not exclusive of the other. That he is thinking of me, maybe, but I have been thinking of him this week. It’s not for me to know the meaning really, just to enjoy the time and remember him to the Father.

I'm reading a book called Jesus wants to save the Christians I kind of like it. I've not read any of the author's other books. I haven't finished it, but I looked it up on Amazon to see what kind of reviews it was getting, pretty mixed it looks.

Some people say it fails to be 'hip.' Hmpht- I'm so out of the 'hippness' loop. Other people complained that it read like a blog. duh. You can tell that just by flipping through the pages. Besides, what's wrong with blogs? They complain that the style is difficult to read- but it seems styled so that it's especially easy to read. Short sentences and paragraphs- they give you time to think about what was just said.

Some people said it was Anti-American Hippy Liberation Theology.

I've always been interested in Liberation Theology. I mean in a very surface way- I haven't really studied it. They didn't encourage it in Bible school- too fringe I guess.

I started looking at other reviews the people who were complaining made. I wanted to see if they were complainers all the time or what.\

I found this quote about a book called Shack.

"At one point, after Mack has met God, he realizes that all of his seminary training was insufficient in preparing him for such a meeting. Well, let's hope not! Mack must not have done his homework before choosing a seminary."

Who does this joker think he is? I suppose he did his homework and chose the 'right' seminary. I suppose that when he stands face to face with God Almighty, Creator of Life and the Universe, he's gonna be all like, "sup dawg?" \

Most people don't come out of seminary thinking they know everything there is to know about God, they come out wondering how they could possibly be so stupid and forgiven at the same time. At least that's what they wonder if they learned anything at seminary.

I saw a notice at school the other day that was asking if anyone wanted to "crochet blankets for unborn babies." Why would an unborn baby need a blanket? It's all warm on the inside there.

I just got asked be friends with some one from high school. I looked at the name and said, "I don't know that person" I looked at the picture and said, "I don't know that person" I saw that we had one friend in common and said, "Oh- HIM! HIM!? The smelly one from high school? The goofy one who had a hard time making a sentence? The one who wanted to sit next to me on all the club trips? I felt both pity and repulsion. Well, yes, him.

Good on him- he's married and saving lives as a paramedic now. Wow. I never would have guessed. I'm still not sure I want to be friends with him though. That's probably wrong.

I've gotten a jury summons- blah.

I was taking a "psychic test" online last night as I waited for my hot chocolate to cool down enough to drink. I took 4 tests. On each test I had to choose 1 out of 5 cards that was going to come up next. There were 10 tries. Every time I got 1 out of 10 correct. What's the chances of that? Maybe pretty high I've never understood probability or statistics. This morning the web page was still up so I tried it one more time. I got 0 of 10. The comment after wards was "You are incredibly psychic to get every single one wrong! Are you channeling negative energy?" Stupid fake internet psychics- I'll show them negative energy . . .

I'm so looking forward to spring break- another week and a half to go. I need a week to lay around and get bored. I need a week to clean my apartment, to watch tv, to finish some of my many projects, to wander around in the spring air aimlessly.

Yesterday one of the lower level students asked me, "Why is the post office?" I looked at her. She looked at me. I waited for her to finish the sentence, she waited for me to start one. Then she said, "Where is the post office?" Well, that was a much easier question to answer. Why is the post office? to be sure, it is hard to say.

Often in grammar class my students try to convince me that the wrong answer is right, and the right answer is wrong. Yesterday it was This sentence, "We were working on our assignment for three hours when a girl ran in and told us there was a fire." What's wrong? Well, according to most native speakers nothing. I mean, I would say this sentence and think nothing of it. According to TOFEL and standard American (formal) grammar, it's wrong. Well, la-tee-da.

My students tried to convince me that it was "there was a fire." Shouldn't it say "there is a fire?" I said no. In reported speech everything is in past tense. Well, there are a few exceptions, but let's just say . . . no. I told them it was "We were working on our assignments for three hours when . .. " part. It needs to be past perfect progressive because we are talking about two past times,(past perfect) one of the activities occurred over an amount of time (progressive.) Let me tell you, it's a good thing I have to teacher's edition.

I *should* be reading for class and planning and preparing and grading.
*instead* I'm looking at toy patterns and watching old tv shows. (also knitting an owl as I watch tv) I never did finish that stupid elf. She's 98% done. I've got to sew her feet on, give her knees and some hair ribbons. The dragon . . . well, I got all distracted by a knitted owl . . . it's a small simple pattern- that dang elf is all involved- the good thing about that pattern is that I have to "finish" as I go along. I have to complete the head before I can do the body. Not like most patterns where all parts are separate and I can make all the pieces and have it 75% done- then as is normal for me, not actually put it all together for another 3-8 months.

I was going to talk to a leasing office today at a new apartment complex. But they closed at 5:30. I've always thought that was one of most annoying things about customer oriented businesses. When do they think people who have jobs have time to come talk to them? That's so dumb- why aren't they open from like 12-8 on some days?

Uhhh ... so ... much... work .... must ... avoid .....

Why are there so many dang cute things that I could make out of yarn (and other materials?!) Honestly can my addiction be helped? SO MANY CUTE THINGS!

Some people say the things I make aren't cute, they say my things are scary and disturbing- of course THOSE people wouldn't know cute if it slapped them upside the head with a dead fish.

I have a a book shelf full of patterns, I have a three ring binder full of patterns I bought online. I have boxes and bags and and baskets full of yarn and material and thread and paint and ever so much more.

Let's face it I'm meant to make things. It's my destiny.

Here's one of my current projects- when I finish her I'd like to then finish my unicorn, my dragon, my dachshund and them maybe my mermaid- I've got other things too . . . bother.

Oh dear- it’s been ever so long . . . I’d like to blame it on acrylic nails. However, that has only been my excuse for the past three weeks. Before that- well just laziness for the most part.

I made a quasi-resolution to write more blogs- MORE BLOGS!

Buzz is looking at me like, “Really? Nobody cares anymore.” I don’t care what the smart alec wiener dog thinks. He’s not my boss!

Yesterday in class some students were describing stupid inventions. One invention that they were describing was a hat that attached a roll of toilet paper to the wearer’s head so that she could blow her nose any time, any place- no worries of running out of tissue or having to rummage around in her bag for a packet. One suggestion to modify the invention was to make it smaller for children, and put picture of popular characters on the TP “like teddy bears and poo.” The other teacher looked at me and said, “I hope he means Pooh, as in Winnie, The.” Sometimes it’s hard to keep the mirth on the inside.
The question arises on account of the student was Korean, and Koreans as well as Japanese seem to have an unusual affinity for not only poo- but also for pee.

I used my uber-limited Farsi skills today to the great delight of one of my students. Words I remember in Farsi: “Hal-le shoma chetoray?” -How are you? “torshee” a sour condiment- “asb”- horse “burro”- go “yazda”- eleven. Wow, my vocabulary is astonishingly random.

My class is reading The Scarlet Letter- which is hard for American students- it’s like torture for international students. At one part a character “set forth an ejaculation of surprise.” I asked my students if they had any vocab questions. Of course, the earnest question arose in my classroom, “What is ejaculation?” asked the little angle faced Taiwanese girl. A few other students snickered. I said, “Well, in this context it means someone said something suddenly and unexpectedly.” One of the snickering students giggled. I was forced to admit it in fact had another meaning- that of a man reaching climax during sexual intercourse. Ok-so we got through that- until a pregnant Russian woman said, “Wait, what is ejaculation again?” I said, “It’s how you got pregnant.”

Well- I wouldn't carry it around, but I thought it might be a pretty funny thing to have on a thong for example.

I read Twilight this weekend. I had been told it was good- then the movie was getting such hype- and it was on sale for half price- I just decided to read it.

It was a pretty good story- I can see how it appeals to high school freshman all over the country. There was a sneak preview of the next book at the end. It looked good too, but when I read the amazon summary I decided I probably won't read it. It seems the series goes down hill after the first one.

I am also currently reading, The Know it All, Anne of the Island, and The Canterbury Tales.
Although, I seem to have misplaced The Know it All for the moment. I'm sure it will turn up eventually. I hope so, I was only half way through.

I'm disgruntled today.

Small things are bringing me down . . . poohy.

I've been sick for about a week. Sickness is a drag. I don't understand how people go around being sick all the time. How are they not just depressed out of their gourds? Allergies- sinus drainage, cough, tight chest, sore throat, stomach upset, weird voice . . . tired from the medicine. Same as last year, but not as bad- yet.

Nothing is especially appetizing- I'm supposed to avoid dairy and fatty food, they make the mucus worse. What should I eat? Soup? AGAIN!?

My mother would call a pity party for me at this point- anyone? anyone?

Tonight, after nine months, my brainiac dog has 'discovered' there is a turtle in the apartment. He is pretty excited about it- he is also convinced that it should be in the kitchen. He has taken a new interest in the kitchen sink- which he usually avoids like the plague- as he's experienced the dreaded 'bath' there.

(He knows 'bath' is a bad word as much as he knows 'outside' is a good word.)

He has run back and forth between the living room and the kitchen about 100 times in the last hour since the discovery. In between trips he stares at the tank longingly and whines- alternatively he stares at the kitchen sink and whines.

I guess he thinks the turtle should be in the sink because the tank is against the kitchen/living room wall. Also he saw me emptying the feeding tank water into the sink.

At least there is some reasoning in that tiny little brain.

"It’s nominating some characteristics; it is hard to become the wrinkle, hard to thrust an insect and easy to dye."

seriously, my head is about to explode- I've been reading exceptionally written research papers- some good- some with good ideas, but the sentences . . . KABOOM!

I told my students today about being president-elect, a lame duck and my limited understanding of how the electoral college works . . . seriously short discussion.

 

 
When students get a hold of your camera . . .
 
Christmas is coming to Texas!

 THE HAND!

 
remember the beauty of eggs
 
Buzz in the sun
 
heirloom pumpkins, fall in the air