I *should* be reading for class and planning and preparing and grading.
*instead* I'm looking at toy patterns and watching old tv shows. (also knitting an owl as I watch tv) I never did finish that stupid elf. She's 98% done. I've got to sew her feet on, give her knees and some hair ribbons. The dragon . . . well, I got all distracted by a knitted owl . . . it's a small simple pattern- that dang elf is all involved- the good thing about that pattern is that I have to "finish" as I go along. I have to complete the head before I can do the body. Not like most patterns where all parts are separate and I can make all the pieces and have it 75% done- then as is normal for me, not actually put it all together for another 3-8 months.

I was going to talk to a leasing office today at a new apartment complex. But they closed at 5:30. I've always thought that was one of most annoying things about customer oriented businesses. When do they think people who have jobs have time to come talk to them? That's so dumb- why aren't they open from like 12-8 on some days?

Uhhh ... so ... much... work .... must ... avoid .....

Why are there so many dang cute things that I could make out of yarn (and other materials?!) Honestly can my addiction be helped? SO MANY CUTE THINGS!

Some people say the things I make aren't cute, they say my things are scary and disturbing- of course THOSE people wouldn't know cute if it slapped them upside the head with a dead fish.

I have a a book shelf full of patterns, I have a three ring binder full of patterns I bought online. I have boxes and bags and and baskets full of yarn and material and thread and paint and ever so much more.

Let's face it I'm meant to make things. It's my destiny.

Here's one of my current projects- when I finish her I'd like to then finish my unicorn, my dragon, my dachshund and them maybe my mermaid- I've got other things too . . . bother.

Oh dear- it’s been ever so long . . . I’d like to blame it on acrylic nails. However, that has only been my excuse for the past three weeks. Before that- well just laziness for the most part.

I made a quasi-resolution to write more blogs- MORE BLOGS!

Buzz is looking at me like, “Really? Nobody cares anymore.” I don’t care what the smart alec wiener dog thinks. He’s not my boss!

Yesterday in class some students were describing stupid inventions. One invention that they were describing was a hat that attached a roll of toilet paper to the wearer’s head so that she could blow her nose any time, any place- no worries of running out of tissue or having to rummage around in her bag for a packet. One suggestion to modify the invention was to make it smaller for children, and put picture of popular characters on the TP “like teddy bears and poo.” The other teacher looked at me and said, “I hope he means Pooh, as in Winnie, The.” Sometimes it’s hard to keep the mirth on the inside.
The question arises on account of the student was Korean, and Koreans as well as Japanese seem to have an unusual affinity for not only poo- but also for pee.

I used my uber-limited Farsi skills today to the great delight of one of my students. Words I remember in Farsi: “Hal-le shoma chetoray?” -How are you? “torshee” a sour condiment- “asb”- horse “burro”- go “yazda”- eleven. Wow, my vocabulary is astonishingly random.

My class is reading The Scarlet Letter- which is hard for American students- it’s like torture for international students. At one part a character “set forth an ejaculation of surprise.” I asked my students if they had any vocab questions. Of course, the earnest question arose in my classroom, “What is ejaculation?” asked the little angle faced Taiwanese girl. A few other students snickered. I said, “Well, in this context it means someone said something suddenly and unexpectedly.” One of the snickering students giggled. I was forced to admit it in fact had another meaning- that of a man reaching climax during sexual intercourse. Ok-so we got through that- until a pregnant Russian woman said, “Wait, what is ejaculation again?” I said, “It’s how you got pregnant.”

Well- I wouldn't carry it around, but I thought it might be a pretty funny thing to have on a thong for example.

I read Twilight this weekend. I had been told it was good- then the movie was getting such hype- and it was on sale for half price- I just decided to read it.

It was a pretty good story- I can see how it appeals to high school freshman all over the country. There was a sneak preview of the next book at the end. It looked good too, but when I read the amazon summary I decided I probably won't read it. It seems the series goes down hill after the first one.

I am also currently reading, The Know it All, Anne of the Island, and The Canterbury Tales.
Although, I seem to have misplaced The Know it All for the moment. I'm sure it will turn up eventually. I hope so, I was only half way through.

I'm disgruntled today.

Small things are bringing me down . . . poohy.

I've been sick for about a week. Sickness is a drag. I don't understand how people go around being sick all the time. How are they not just depressed out of their gourds? Allergies- sinus drainage, cough, tight chest, sore throat, stomach upset, weird voice . . . tired from the medicine. Same as last year, but not as bad- yet.

Nothing is especially appetizing- I'm supposed to avoid dairy and fatty food, they make the mucus worse. What should I eat? Soup? AGAIN!?

My mother would call a pity party for me at this point- anyone? anyone?

Tonight, after nine months, my brainiac dog has 'discovered' there is a turtle in the apartment. He is pretty excited about it- he is also convinced that it should be in the kitchen. He has taken a new interest in the kitchen sink- which he usually avoids like the plague- as he's experienced the dreaded 'bath' there.

(He knows 'bath' is a bad word as much as he knows 'outside' is a good word.)

He has run back and forth between the living room and the kitchen about 100 times in the last hour since the discovery. In between trips he stares at the tank longingly and whines- alternatively he stares at the kitchen sink and whines.

I guess he thinks the turtle should be in the sink because the tank is against the kitchen/living room wall. Also he saw me emptying the feeding tank water into the sink.

At least there is some reasoning in that tiny little brain.

"It’s nominating some characteristics; it is hard to become the wrinkle, hard to thrust an insect and easy to dye."

seriously, my head is about to explode- I've been reading exceptionally written research papers- some good- some with good ideas, but the sentences . . . KABOOM!

I told my students today about being president-elect, a lame duck and my limited understanding of how the electoral college works . . . seriously short discussion.

 

 
When students get a hold of your camera . . .
 
Christmas is coming to Texas!

 THE HAND!

 
remember the beauty of eggs
 
Buzz in the sun
 
heirloom pumpkins, fall in the air
 

Mini cupcakes (vegan)

Mini-me

Chili- may not look good, tasted great!

So, Alan Dart wrote back. I was rather surprised. He told me I didn't read the pattern notes correctly. Hmmm- so it is. Well, he is English, it's so hard to understand the English- they are so . . . English! Why can't they just write plain American? Can you spell ethnocentric? I'm not really- everyone is beatuiful, in his own way. Even those of us who don't know how to knit hands.

He was really nice about telling me how to read the patten though- he said go ahead and make Halloween hands for everyone. I haven't finished a hand yet, but I did get past that first row of sorrows.

Fingers and pictures to come.

I just wrote an email to Alan Dart, my a for mentioned favorite knitting pattern maker.

http://www.alandart.co.uk/pages/products

Dear Mr. Dart,

I love the hands on your human(ish) toys, but I've tried and tried and cannot make the hands. I finish the thumbs, but when I do the next row
"inc for fingers- K2, inc 1, (K1, inc 1)twice, K3, inc 1 turn and work these 15 sts only." I find no matter what I do, I only have 11 stitches when it's time to turn.

Is this a misprint or do I just fail at making hands? Are there any videos online that show how to do this technique? Do you have any alternative instructions for hands (as opposed to the instructions for Little Lorelei and Barnacle Bill?)

I'm so sad I can't make hands- they are surely the best bit of your human type dolls. If I could knit hands I would knit tiny disembodied hands for all my friends- and they would say that was creepy, and I would agree, but be ever so happy that it was possible.

Thank you,
Shannon

So, I have a Facebook page. (I constantly tell my students to avoid starting sentences with coordinate conjunctions; honestly I’m such a grammatical hypocrite.) Anyway-Facebook page. I signed up for it because a co-worker in India insisted it was the funnest thing on the virtual block. I got one and it was fun for about two weeks, then it lost it’s luster and I gave up playing with it. I’ve found that when I don’t have a “computer job” ie I spend long hours in front of a computer, I lose interest in making more than one senseless website contribution. I think if I had a computer job I would update my Facebook on a daily basis- always telling people what I’m doing and comparing them to each other and telling them I would rather be handcuffed to them than to some other friend; when in actuality I don’t want to be handcuffed to anyone.

According to my current rankings I am “most likely to kick it with Jesus some day” but in fact voted “0% friendly.” Sad commentary. Categories I win in: more powerful, smarter, more famous, more reliable, would rather live with, braver, more adventurous, more naturally talented, funnier, more confident, better catch, better at science (!?) harder worker, crazier, more artistic, more creative, studies harder, more useful, more outgoing (seriously who were they comparing me to?) Categories I lose in: more tech savvy, nicer, more punctual, more likely to skip class (little do these people know) more likely to do a favor for me, more fashionable, better public speaker, (I think I’m pretty good actually) rather have dinner with, would make a better father (duh) has a better profile picture, person I am jealous of, more loyal, would rather marry, more popular, can drink more, better dancer and kinder.

Pooh on those people who think I wouldn’t skip class and I’m a bad public speaker or that they don’t want to marry me- I’m a catch- just ask me I’ll give you a public speech about it while I am skipping class.

Well- I mean I don’t skip class now- I get paid to go to class, if I skip I don’t get paid. That doesn’t work out like it did in college and high school.

So, on Face book I have all these “friends” most of them more along the lines of past acquaintances. (Again with the coordinate conjunction.) Some of them, to be honest, I never really liked in the first place. Time and distance seems to blur the lines though. Some of these people would never give me the time of day when we could have possibly actually been friends. They request to be my friend, and I just accept. The most astonishing Facebook find was Vicki my best friend in 4th-7th grade. We had a little falling out when I stacked her locker so that when she opened it a sanitary napkin fell out in front of everyone- but other than that we were tight. Then I moved away. We wrote back and forth for about a year and then I never heard back from her. I got a friend request from her a few months ago. Wow- long, long time.

It’s an interesting thing to have- I know how to contact these long-losts if ever I want to. There are some other people I would like to know about. Susan, Mac and David from high school; Val, Francie, Rachael and Joe from Geneva; Kent, Joan and Alden from DCC; Jane, Dana, April, Anna, Sam, Dorian from summer missions; Susan, Bil and Jason from Journeymen. There are already too many people to actually keep up with, but I’d like to know how these people are in a general kind of way.

Oh, the knits I could knit . . . seriously, who wakes up in the morning and thinks, "Hey, I think I'll knit some toilet paper."

It is cute- cuter than the tampons . . .

I made a hat over the weekend. It was chunky yarn, so it’s not really a big deal. I saw the pattern online and thought “that’s so cute! I can do that!” In fact I could do that- but it turns out “that” is not so cute in real life. I learned two new techniques to make that hat! I did them right! It turned out just like the picture.

Here’s the problem- the picture shows the hat from the back. From the back the hat is cute. From the front it is like the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man ordered a beret, and that beret started bubbling and melting on my head. I looked in the mirror and thought “What happened! This can’t be right!” Then I turned around and looked at the back of the hat, and sure enough- it was cute, just like the dratted picture.

That will teach me to knit a hat with only a picture of the back to judge cuteness by.

Upon frontal inspection of the “hat” I decided it was terminally ugly and must be unmade post haste. I feared for my life and well being, thinking perhaps the Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man would storm in demanding his half melted bubbly hat and inadvertently do some harm in the process.