Job 33:28

Tuesday, May 08, 2018

The age of Alexa


Four months ago we turn three rooms in our house to ‘smart rooms’ with Alexa controlled lights. They still have to turn on the lights at the light switch in every other room.

When we got home from church last Sunday we discovered the internet was out.

 WWWWHHHHAAAATTT!!!!???
That’s what my kids were thinking.
They said, ‘Can we use our Kindles?’
I said, ‘Sure, but they aren’t going to do what you want, because the internet is out.’
Them: ‘It will be fine!’
Me: ‘OK’
2.3 minutes later
Them: ‘This thing isn’t working!’
Them: ‘Can we watch Netflix?’
Me: ‘The internet is out.’
Them: ‘Can we watch a movie?’
Me: ‘The internet is out.’ (we only have streaming movies)
Them: ‘We want to call Noni on Alexa!’
Me: ‘The internet is out.’
Them: ‘Alexa, how long is the internet going to be out?’
Alexa: ‘I’m having trouble connecting right now.’
Them: ‘Ugh!’
Me: ‘Go turn on that light for me.’
Them: ‘What light?’
Me: ‘The living room light.’
Them: ‘Why doesn’t Alexa do it?’
Me: ‘The INTERNET IS OUT! Now go turn on the light!’
Them: ‘I don’t know how to turn on the light.’
Me: ‘Yes you do!  Go flip the light switch.’
Them: ‘What’s a light switch?’
Me: ‘That white rectangle right there by the door.’
Them: ‘This thing?’
She looks at me with this disgusted expression on her face, as if to say, “Mother, dare you turn my good upbringing to ruination by asking me to do such a plebian act as ‘turning on a light’ with my own hand?”
Me: ‘Yes! Touch it.’
The lights come on.
Them: ‘Wow!’ Honestly surprised by this turn of events.
Me: Get out of here!

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