I'm going through my old files on my computer- actually I was looking for a picture of a cross stitch sampler I saw online once- don't know what brought that up, but in any event, while I was searching I decided to organize and I found this list.  I can't figure out if I ever posted it, so I'm posting, perhaps again just to be sure.

Random List:

1. When I was a child I was afraid of toilets with black seats and the funnel of water which appears when the water is let out of the tub.


2. Also as a child I was firmly convinced of these things: a. I was born with a bandage on my head b. Dracula ate my Mickey Mouse ring c. I had the ability to hover. I’m still pretty sure Dracula ate my Mickey Mouse ring.

3. I once went to Greece for the weekend.

4. I’ve never been to a funeral of any one I know.

5. I don’t like most kinds of meat, or anything that is pretending to be like meat.

6. I don’t like any food which has been artificially purpled.

7. I don’t eat wiggly deserts.

8. I had to explain what ejaculation was in class yesterday- to a pregnant woman.

9. I was once told I was worth 2,000 camels- seems like a come-on to me.

10. Between 2000-2001 I was accused of being a spy, a smuggler, a bomber and a member of the CIA- deny- deny- deny-deny.

11. I routinely blame the oddities of English grammar on other languages “It’s because this word if French . . .”

12. I was once French kissed by a French man in France.

13. I started knitting a sweater five years ago . . . it’s mostly done . . . (I decided to take it all out and try something new)

14. Ever since I got my nose pierced I have felt I have free reign to pick my nose.

15. I know how to say “Go away fat cow” in Norwegian.

16. I sold Dana Carvey 2 dozen tulips, but I didn’t know it was him until he signed the receipt.

17. When asked by a job interviewer why I thought I was qualified to do the job I said, “Well . . . I’m not stupid.” I got the job.

18. I was almost named Mavis- until my grandmother convinced my mother that it sounded like a female truck driver.

19. Over the course of the year I lived in an upscale section of a large city in India, I saw dogs, cats, chickens, cows, horses, sheep, goats, elephants and one toothless bear in my neighborhood.

20. I once witnessed 16 people get out of a 5 passenger car. They were not wearing big shoes or red noses.

21. My favorite ice cream is Ben and Jerry’s “Chubby Hubby.”

22. I habitually take pictures of signs and other oddities that amuse me- I always have a camera with me.

23. I’m the normal one in my family.

24. According to my astrological chart I am Virgo sun sign, Virgo moon sign, and Virgo ascendant sign. I secretly think I am a Pisces.

25. I spent a week in Scotland imagining every old man sitting behind me on the bus was really Sean Connery.

I went to the National Archives today. It wasn't exactly what I expected, but I did only go to the visitor's center. I was thinking it would be a very large research library with some records I could touch and some that were only for professional fingers in gloves and what not.

I saw some letters written by George Washington, Abe Lincoln etc. They seem to be the most important presidents to speak of around. There were some baby pictures of former presidents- and a video of George W. when he was a baby- kinda cute. There were some old birth records, pretty cool looking. And of course the most important things were the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. The Declaration wasn't looking so good. The lights are very dim to maintain the documents, but considering even that the ink was very faded. The Constitution was looking much more robust.

There were some rent-a-cops standing around looking bored. I had my doubts about the authenticity of those documents. Would they really put those valuable documents under a piece of glass and let anybody walk in and terrorize them? Let's face it the terrorists are pretty sneaky. The guards did make me lift up my pants legs to be sure I wasn't concealing scissors in my socks when I went in. Maybe they are more diligent than they look.

Across the street from the National Archives is the National Sculpture Garden. To be honest I've been pretty impressed with this city, but something was certainly lacking from the National Sculpture Garden. There was an ice skating rink- kinda cool, there was a set of six stone chairs that were alright, the giant spider- sounds cooler than it was, the giant type writer eraser- well I didn't even know what it was- and I'm old so I should know. I imagine younger folks just think it is some random thingy-majig. The best thing for sure was the steel tree.

While in the Sculpture Garden I saw a chubby little squirrel.  It was looking so cute, and I thought about the chubby little birds I had seen yesterday.  I was thinking about other things that were chubby and cute as I walked toward the Museum of Natural History when I saw another cute, chubby little squirrel on the sidewalk.


He looked at me expectantly- I told him I didn't have any food.  I told him outloud, which may have been why the guy walking down the side walk turned and looked at me, not really like I was crazy but more like he thought something funny was about to happen.  I stopped on the sidewalk to take off my bag to get my camera out.  The squirrel came a little closer.  I had my hand in my bag when the squirrel started climbing up my leg. 


I screamed.  The guy on the side walk turned to look at me from about 50 feet away- he was safe.  A woman was walking toward me, she said, "Oh, be careful, they bite."  I said, "AHHH!  It's crawling on me!"  I was flashing through all kinds of bad squirrel scenerios- squirrel bite, squirrel in my bag, squirrel in my jacket, squirrel on my head . . .


I stood very still and the squirrel saw I was more useless than a tree and jumped back to the grass. 

I took a few steps, and thought, "Well, I might as well get the picture now"- and he started coming at me again!  That little demon squirrel!  I told him to back off- took a few more step away, snapped this picture and got out of there quick.


When I got back my friend asked me how it was, I said, "It was really good except for that incident with the squirrel."

I've rediscovered why I decided to not talk too much. People who talk a lot tend to sound so dumb-opinionated, prejudiced, over proud, ignorant, dogmatic.
I have been known to be overly critical.
So I say a lot of dumb things- yeah we all do at times. But I've heard so many dumb things repeated this trip. I just think- really? Sounds like pride in these words of dumb.
"I don't care about history, politics or current events." Ok- some people don't, but they should at least be a little embarrassed to say it out loud.
"I don't want my daughter to marry her black boy friend because I want my grandchildren to look like me."
"Traveling in America is so boring, everyone speaks English."
"Spanish isn't worth learning, everyone in Texas speaks it."
"American English is broken."
Among others-
Not repeated, but a long conversation revolving around:
"I'm pretty smart and athletic- I will marry a woman with mental and athletic prowess so that my children will be superior." Um- sure everyone wants their children to be pretty and smart, and they want to mate with someone who is like them in the things that are important to them, but maybe we don't need to talk about producing superior children to the general public- keep that thought on the inside, or if you want to let it out put it in the correct context. The idealism of this guy was off the charts- I do hope his children are perfect else his world crumble.
Even a fool can be thought wise if he doesn't open his mouth.

I thought she might be an elderly street walker when I saw her come in on the first night. She was wearing white boots, brown stockings, a short black skirt and a white jacket. She changed into her jeans to sleep.

I’ve seen her with a phone to her ear, but I’ve never heard her speak.

Her hair is platinum blonde- helmet perfect- under tucked with combs. She’s painfully thin- what does one politely call that in a woman? Slender, slight – these sound too willowy, supple- too young lithe. She’s bone dry. She only wears black and white. She doesn’t make eye contact. She doesn’t speak. She isn’t spoken to. She doesn’t use the house linen. She has a plastic sheet over her bed. She sleeps on it, always completely clothed. She uses her own blanket and covers her head when she sleeps. Her hair is still perfect when she emerges. She has a duffle bag which looks to weigh more than she does. She’s tall.

Maybe she is sad.

Greg said she was not without graces- she had been practicing her moves in the common room before she set off to a soirée at the French Embassy. She had asked him how he thought she should approach dignitaries.

Maybe there’s a body in that duffle. Maybe she’s a spy. DC has the most spies of any city in the world.

She’s a woman of mystery.

The other one- she’s no mystery at all. If you give her a glance she will tell you everything she knows in English, French and Spanish. Unfortunately, she doesn’t seem to know ever so much other than those languages.

Mysteries are so much better for one’s imagination.

Yesterday in the nunnery one sister asked how old I was. When I told another sister said, "Oh, you're the same age as our Superior General." (the boss-nun) She sounded very surprised at this bit of news. She said¸ "It's not because you look older." (Does she mean I do look older or I don't look older?) She said, "OH! That didn't sound right, it's just the maturity level isn't the same . . . no that's not right either really I mean . . . I'll just stop talking, that's better."

So am I to interpret that as I'm old an immature? From a nun? Nuns don't lie.

In other new- my travel companion told an environmentalist today that she didn't care about the state of our rivers and lakes because she was more concerned about his relationship with God. When the environmentalist said he has a relationship with God my traveler said, "that's good, but a relationship with God is free (while the saving the lakes and rivers required cash.) I'm not going to ask for any money and you can have this (tract)." He took the "Bridge of Life" and said, "Yeah, that's great, unfortunately, saving our environment requires getting the attention of politicians and big business, which requires funds." My companion: "I don't care about that, this world is not eternal." The environmentalist smiled and said thank you.

I sort of felt like apologizing for the attack of the world killing Christian.

He did better than I would have in his situation. I'm for spreading the Word- not for making people feel attacked, not for discounting things that should be important to us, not for neglecting to listen and make relationship with people before we start discussing life altering believe systems, values and life styles, not for shoving little booklets at people and expecting them to care.

This is why I wasn't a good missionary. I'm for building relationship and trust. I'm for asking before lecturing. I'm for listening. I'm for talking about life, religion, ecology, economy or whatever another believes in to understand more about how to proceed. I'm for the long term.

I gave a Bible to one of my students this Christmas. I've known her for more than a year. We've talked about everything. Maybe she will read it. Maybe she won't. I don't know. If she has questions, she knows she can ask me.

If I were that environmentalist standing on a cold windy street corner asking for money from strangers and somebody verbally attacked me, told me (when you get right down to it) my cause was worthless, shoved a tract at me and not listened when I said I was already in relationship, I would have given the tract back, reminded that person of the responsibility we have been given to be good stewards, and been pissed off the rest of the day. Not that that last bit would do any good for anyone, including God.

I didn't say anything. I still have four more days to be with this person- I don't need any conflict.

 

Day two at the convent- today all the nuns went to work and Lis and I were left alone. There was an unexpected schedule change and the Sister we have come to visit has had to spend the majority of her time at school. That is unfortunate, but also good to have some quiet time.

Today I got up around 9:00. I had some breakfast, checked email, posted the short blog. L and I went to the grave yard across the street and checked it out. There isn’t any snow, but it is quite cold, about 28 degrees. It is the yard of a beautiful old church founded in 1772.

I saw lots of very old graves, most of them so worn I couldn’t read the information. There was one monument which was quite nice and well kept. I don’t know how old it was, but it was a set of brothers. All three were born in the Philadelphia area, but all had died in the south at the time of the Civil War. One was a plantation owner in LA, one died in battle in GA and another died in battle in TN. The brother who died in TN was a CSA officer. The monument said the brothers were together and in agreement in life and death. It made me think they were all CSA soldiers. It made me wonder how old that monument was, and if there had been animosity in the family with three brothers fighting for the south. Obviously some family had stayed in PA as well, so what friends and church members thought about CSA soldiers being brought back or at least memorialized here. It seems with so many men dead there would have been some bitterness- but then, with so much tragedy at the time, maybe people were too weary to be bitter any more.

After the church yard we went for a short walk, we stopped and had Chinese food. Authentic Philly-Chinese food . . . well there was the consideration of a Philly-cheese steak sandwich, but for me it would have just been a Philly cheese sandwich- and I image that causes the situation to lose some of its mystique- or whatever.

The Philly cheese steak place was also advertising ‘crab cake hoagies.’ L said ‘Crabcake Hoagie’ sounded like a villain. I thought it sounded more like a pirate (which could also be a villain.) For the rest of the day I was tickled by the idea of a silly looking pirate sailing the seas (and rivers) and pillaging the Philly-cheese-steak-shops . . . ARRR!
When finished with lunch L suggested a ‘rousing nap time.’ I laughed. I don’t usually take naps- but today I did- and it was fabulous- so I decided I could easily slip into the ‘unemployed and loving it’ life-style. Too bad for me I don’t have more people to mooch off of.

This evening was the celebration dinner for one of the Sisters’ 75th birthday. She is apparently a work-a-holic. I didn’t even see her until the dinner stated. They said, “Sr. John, have you met Shannon and L?” She said, “Yeah-yeah- Shannon’s sitting next to me.” When in fact we had not met and I was not sitting next to her. But when you are a 75 year old nun most people just let you say what you want.

It seems Sr. John didn’t want to have a birthday party, so the other Sisters had to plan it for her as a surprise. She was real crabby when she found out more than just the other sisters of the convent would be there and she said, “I didn’t want you to do this because I don’t want what happened five years ago to happen again!” We asked what happened five years ago, but nobody was talking. I expect it involved a lot of alcohol because this 75 year old nun got three bottles of wine and a bottle of Captain Morgan for her birthday.
Over the course of the dinner I learned a few bad words in Polish and a few more in Arabic.

Nuns can be so enlightening.

After dinner we cleaned up and had a prayer time. It was nice- lots of responsive reading type things- we sang a song with the tune of “A Mighty Fortress is Our God” but different words. One of the Sisters (the one who wears Doc Martians) told me about some of the Sisters of her order who had been executed during WWII. I guess I hadn’t thought about Catholics been persecuted and executed, but it seems it was a pretty common practice.
Finally we watched a few episodes of ‘The Cake Boss’ and the news then went to bed. So- off to bed I go, I’m only up now because of the nap.

So- at the convent things are not as a Protestant might have imagined.

1. The nuns were sitting around in their sweats watching NCIS.
2. The Mother Superior is very young- she offered me a beer.
3. The office computer has a dragon, surrounding a ying-yang- backed by flames, which glow when the computer is on.
4. There is a framed poster on the wall that says "Work fascinates me. I can stare at it for hours."

more on that later