Pope news:

I follow pope news, if I wasn’t Baptist I’d be Catholic, or Buddhist.

Here’s how I found out about the new Pope: I was walking by the receptionist’s desk when I heard her say “The Pope is a Nazi.”

She is so uncouthy.

The Pope is not a Nazi. He was a compulsory member of Hitler’s Youth Movement.
I imagine Jesus would say, “Get over it.” or “Gettest thou above it.” if you prefer KJV.

He has taken the name Pope Benedict XVI. Everyone at work flipped when they heard that. “What a terrible name! Why would he choose such a terrible name? I can only think of Benedict Arnold!”

I could only think of, “benefit, beneficial, benefactor, beneficiary, benediction.” I figured it must mean something good and I said so in opposition to the crowd.

Benedict means blessing.

Don’t think of Benedict Arnold—tell the truth, you don’t even know what he did that was so bad do you?

There have been 15 other Pope Benedicts—goes way farther back than the American Revolution, (BTW I expect nobody outside of the US cares what Benedict Arnold did.)

In speaking of the new Pope, I’ve used this sentence twice today.
“He looks vital.”
Both time people looked at me like I didn’t know how to use my words.
It’s correct! Get off my back! Vital is a adjective, it means : full of life and vigor :

Why oh why does everybody think I’m crazy? Sometimes I do know what I'm talking about!