Guess who said it:
“At least you aren’t wearing parachute pants.”
“In the name of Jesus! Convulse!”
“There are no rules! This is Earth!”
“I didn’t expect two of the speakers to be flamers!”
“Wabi Sabi, Habi Labi”
“I want a Mother Heart of God room!”
Monday, March 31, 2003
Friday, March 28, 2003
There was a bumpersticker on the register with a picture of a bear that read: “We have the right to arm bears.”
My aunt and I went to eat at the Spiral Café, the to be place for vegans in Ft. Worth. We both had spinich lazana. It was good, would have been better without the tofo, but everyone has their own opinions. . . after we ate, we learned from a brochure the benefits of a vegan lifesyle for all the carnavores, including cats and dogs (Vegan pets . . . what next?)
We had stimulating conversation about why we were there, (vegan-lent thing) and the explanation of what a vegan is. After I gave her the low-down on what a vegan is as opposed to a vegatarian, she said, “So you can eat anything that would go in the compost heap?” “Yes, and thank you for giving me that visulatization.”
We spoke of church politics, the chosen quote on that topic was, “I know we are all part of the body of Christ, but I don’t understand why there have to be so many ass holes!” She’s a funny one, dealing with the antics of the Methodists at the moment.
During our discussions we watched the vegan population come and go we noted a few details:
1. they were all young people, ages 16-25
2. all the girls were (surprisingly) on the plumper side of life
3. all the boys were (expectedly) exceedingly thin
4. they all wore black clothing with some flamboyantly colored assessory (a yellow bandana, a rainbow hand bag,
purple stockings or red shoes)
5. all the girls had red hair (except for the one with hot pink hair.)
Interesting, one could do a full study on the subculture of the vegans of Ft. Worth.
My aunt and I went to eat at the Spiral Café, the to be place for vegans in Ft. Worth. We both had spinich lazana. It was good, would have been better without the tofo, but everyone has their own opinions. . . after we ate, we learned from a brochure the benefits of a vegan lifesyle for all the carnavores, including cats and dogs (Vegan pets . . . what next?)
We had stimulating conversation about why we were there, (vegan-lent thing) and the explanation of what a vegan is. After I gave her the low-down on what a vegan is as opposed to a vegatarian, she said, “So you can eat anything that would go in the compost heap?” “Yes, and thank you for giving me that visulatization.”
We spoke of church politics, the chosen quote on that topic was, “I know we are all part of the body of Christ, but I don’t understand why there have to be so many ass holes!” She’s a funny one, dealing with the antics of the Methodists at the moment.
During our discussions we watched the vegan population come and go we noted a few details:
1. they were all young people, ages 16-25
2. all the girls were (surprisingly) on the plumper side of life
3. all the boys were (expectedly) exceedingly thin
4. they all wore black clothing with some flamboyantly colored assessory (a yellow bandana, a rainbow hand bag,
purple stockings or red shoes)
5. all the girls had red hair (except for the one with hot pink hair.)
Interesting, one could do a full study on the subculture of the vegans of Ft. Worth.
Monday, March 24, 2003
Sunday, March 23, 2003
Going to War and Going to Church
Generally I am one to keep my comments out of the ears of strangers. (Okay I know I’m posting them on the internet for the world to see, but I’ve not invited to world to see them!) I try to either keep my little thoughts to myself or only share them with the one who happens to be sitting next to me. I know, I tend toward the sarcastic and sometimes “brutal honesty.” And I wonder if I don’t avoid Bible studies lately because of my urges to critic the presenter after he has completed his lesson. “Here comes the Bible study snob . . .”
First Baptist Church, Dallas; singles group. The first thing that made me smile to myself was this quote in the middle of a prayer. “All's I think about is Habakkuk.” Really? Of all the things in the world to think about ALL he thinks about is Habakkuk? We’ll call that hyperbole and move on.
By way of announcements the leader starts talking about upcoming events concerning the Easter season, he says this: “I want to tell you about what we’ll be doing the week before Easter. In English we call that week ‘pre-Easter week.’ In Spanish we call it ‘Holy Week.’
I think this: “ummm . . . ‘Pre-Easter week?!” What the . . . in English we call it ‘Holy Week’ too! Crazy Baptists!”
With that I was just being picky, but soon after he offended me. He started talking about the war and the atrocities of Saddam Hussain, how Saddam has been known to torture and kill Christians, describing a scene of how people get stoned in this modern age. And he said, “We are fighting a just war. This is a Holy War.” A ‘just war’ seems a contradiction in terms, but Holy War!? I don’t think so! That’s going too far! I’m not an anti-war activist, I haven’t been interested to attend the peace rallies or marches, I have not criticized the actions of the President. I’m sure I don’t know enough of the situation to make accusations (as I think most people don’t so they should shut up.) I haven’t said much about it one way or the other, but calling this a Holy War was going too far for me.
He informed us at that point that instead of a lesson plan, he would lead us in a time of prayer concerning what is happening in the world. We prayed for peace in Jerusalem that ‘God’s chosen people would turn to him’. Sure, great, I’m all about peace in Jerusalem, but we are at war in BAGDAD! You want to pray for Bible cities, lets pray for peace in Babylon!
Then he told us to pray for “Our enemies; the terrorists, the Muslims and the Iraqis.” By this time I wanted to get up and pop him in the mouth for being so stupid. Instead I prayed for patience.
When he finished I went to talk to him. I said, “I don’t want you to think I’m being overly critical, but I just wanted to comment on a few things you said.”
He said, “Oh sure.” (little did he know)
I said, “Well, first the whole thing about the “Holy War,” not only is that historically and personally offensive, but it’s wrong for you to say. This is not a “holy war” by any sense of the words. No war led and perpetuated by men is ‘holy’ not only that, we are not fighting for the rights of Christians in the world. Otherwise we’d be all over the Sudan. When Jesus comes back riding a white horse, THAT will be a Holy War. Not until then.”
He said, “Oh, I see what you mean.”
I said, “And one other thing . . . You said, ‘pray for our enemies the terrorists, the Muslims and the Iraqis.’ The terrorists are our moral enemies, the Iraqis our political enemies, but what do the Muslims have to do with it?”
He said, “Well if you knew anything about what the Muslims believe you would . . .”
I interrupted, “I know enough about Islam to know they are not our enemies.”
He said, “Maybe you should read a book called . . .
(I interrupted again) “I know enough about Islam to know they are not our enemies any more than the Jews are.” (this time I said the magic “Jew” word, he had to listen) “Are the Jews our enemies too? We were just praying for peace in Jerusalem, which seemed odd since we are warring with Baghdad. If you think Muslims are our “spiritual enemies” (which seems just as much as a contradiction as ‘just war’) then where do you draw the line? The Catholics? Orthodox believers? Just Baptists or are Lutherans okay?”
He said, “Oh, you think I’m being too general.”
To which I replied, “As a church leader you are responsible to these people to choose your vocabulary very carefully. When you say Muslims are our enemies in the same sentence as terrorists and Iraqis are our enemies, you are making a much bigger statement. You are helping to form the opinion of these people who are unfamiliar with Muslims and Iraqis and indicating to them that Muslims and Iraqis are generally just as bad as terrorists.”
He said (by way of ending the conversation) “Well, thank you for your input.”
I told him he was welcome.
Generally I am one to keep my comments out of the ears of strangers. (Okay I know I’m posting them on the internet for the world to see, but I’ve not invited to world to see them!) I try to either keep my little thoughts to myself or only share them with the one who happens to be sitting next to me. I know, I tend toward the sarcastic and sometimes “brutal honesty.” And I wonder if I don’t avoid Bible studies lately because of my urges to critic the presenter after he has completed his lesson. “Here comes the Bible study snob . . .”
First Baptist Church, Dallas; singles group. The first thing that made me smile to myself was this quote in the middle of a prayer. “All's I think about is Habakkuk.” Really? Of all the things in the world to think about ALL he thinks about is Habakkuk? We’ll call that hyperbole and move on.
By way of announcements the leader starts talking about upcoming events concerning the Easter season, he says this: “I want to tell you about what we’ll be doing the week before Easter. In English we call that week ‘pre-Easter week.’ In Spanish we call it ‘Holy Week.’
I think this: “ummm . . . ‘Pre-Easter week?!” What the . . . in English we call it ‘Holy Week’ too! Crazy Baptists!”
With that I was just being picky, but soon after he offended me. He started talking about the war and the atrocities of Saddam Hussain, how Saddam has been known to torture and kill Christians, describing a scene of how people get stoned in this modern age. And he said, “We are fighting a just war. This is a Holy War.” A ‘just war’ seems a contradiction in terms, but Holy War!? I don’t think so! That’s going too far! I’m not an anti-war activist, I haven’t been interested to attend the peace rallies or marches, I have not criticized the actions of the President. I’m sure I don’t know enough of the situation to make accusations (as I think most people don’t so they should shut up.) I haven’t said much about it one way or the other, but calling this a Holy War was going too far for me.
He informed us at that point that instead of a lesson plan, he would lead us in a time of prayer concerning what is happening in the world. We prayed for peace in Jerusalem that ‘God’s chosen people would turn to him’. Sure, great, I’m all about peace in Jerusalem, but we are at war in BAGDAD! You want to pray for Bible cities, lets pray for peace in Babylon!
Then he told us to pray for “Our enemies; the terrorists, the Muslims and the Iraqis.” By this time I wanted to get up and pop him in the mouth for being so stupid. Instead I prayed for patience.
When he finished I went to talk to him. I said, “I don’t want you to think I’m being overly critical, but I just wanted to comment on a few things you said.”
He said, “Oh sure.” (little did he know)
I said, “Well, first the whole thing about the “Holy War,” not only is that historically and personally offensive, but it’s wrong for you to say. This is not a “holy war” by any sense of the words. No war led and perpetuated by men is ‘holy’ not only that, we are not fighting for the rights of Christians in the world. Otherwise we’d be all over the Sudan. When Jesus comes back riding a white horse, THAT will be a Holy War. Not until then.”
He said, “Oh, I see what you mean.”
I said, “And one other thing . . . You said, ‘pray for our enemies the terrorists, the Muslims and the Iraqis.’ The terrorists are our moral enemies, the Iraqis our political enemies, but what do the Muslims have to do with it?”
He said, “Well if you knew anything about what the Muslims believe you would . . .”
I interrupted, “I know enough about Islam to know they are not our enemies.”
He said, “Maybe you should read a book called . . .
(I interrupted again) “I know enough about Islam to know they are not our enemies any more than the Jews are.” (this time I said the magic “Jew” word, he had to listen) “Are the Jews our enemies too? We were just praying for peace in Jerusalem, which seemed odd since we are warring with Baghdad. If you think Muslims are our “spiritual enemies” (which seems just as much as a contradiction as ‘just war’) then where do you draw the line? The Catholics? Orthodox believers? Just Baptists or are Lutherans okay?”
He said, “Oh, you think I’m being too general.”
To which I replied, “As a church leader you are responsible to these people to choose your vocabulary very carefully. When you say Muslims are our enemies in the same sentence as terrorists and Iraqis are our enemies, you are making a much bigger statement. You are helping to form the opinion of these people who are unfamiliar with Muslims and Iraqis and indicating to them that Muslims and Iraqis are generally just as bad as terrorists.”
He said (by way of ending the conversation) “Well, thank you for your input.”
I told him he was welcome.
Spring Break was Good. (Aside from the whole war thing of course.) I have many adventures to record. Mostly for mine own amusement—but then aren’t they all?
First there was my purchase of my second minor appliance in a month. A few weeks ago I bought a blender. And I am well pleased with my purchase—I’ve blended a few vegan smoothies and have been satisfied with the results. This week, I bought a vacuum! That may not seem like much, but when you have hair balls challenging your authority in your home, it’s a big decision.
I had been considering the investment for some time. For me, even buying minor appliances is a sign of commitment. Owning a blender and a vacuum says, “I plan to be here long enough to make these purchases worth while.” And let’s face it, a vacuum is a big step in a staying-girl’s future. Even a cheap vacuum costs at least $50, and I’ve seen them all the way to $2,000. (Kirby-bastards)
So, before making any hasty decisions, I went to the vacuum guru for guidance and wisdom. My guru, also known as “Brandon the repair man” was found at Mid Cities Vacuum Sales and Repair. He endeavored to sell me a $500 vacuum. Obviously, that didn’t happen for him, but in the process he told me all about what to look for and what to avoid in vacuum sales. Here are some hints, in case you need to know for the future: (Which I will present in the style of Psalm 1 for no particular reason at all)
Blessed is the consumer who does not purchase in the brand name of Hoover
Or invest in the style of the bagless upright
Or undertake to suck dirt through a hepa filter.
But her delight is in the brushroll which is not plastic.
And from this brushroll she cleans the entwined hairs monthly.
Her carpet will be one in which hairballs will not multiply,
which may be walked upon by the barest of feet.
But not so the bagless upright, when the dirt gets sucked into the motor,
Or the hepa filter which were not designed for high air velocities or
voluminous amounts of dirt.
Forasmuch as the plastic brushroller shall overheat and melt, or shall break under the
strain of overmuch cleaning.
For the LORD watches over the careful consumer who researches her purchases.
But the careless shall perish and their hairballs with them.
So I went to Target and bought a wooden-rollerbrush-laden-bag-using-non-hepa-filter-mint-green Dirt Devil. To which my room mate commented, “I can’t believe you brought a demon into our house.” (I think she's been watching too much Buffy) To which I was oh-so-tempted to reply “Yes, indeed I have brought one in that sucks and blows.” However, as my demon only sucks, and does not blow at all (that I know of ) I did not voice my comment.
First there was my purchase of my second minor appliance in a month. A few weeks ago I bought a blender. And I am well pleased with my purchase—I’ve blended a few vegan smoothies and have been satisfied with the results. This week, I bought a vacuum! That may not seem like much, but when you have hair balls challenging your authority in your home, it’s a big decision.
I had been considering the investment for some time. For me, even buying minor appliances is a sign of commitment. Owning a blender and a vacuum says, “I plan to be here long enough to make these purchases worth while.” And let’s face it, a vacuum is a big step in a staying-girl’s future. Even a cheap vacuum costs at least $50, and I’ve seen them all the way to $2,000. (Kirby-bastards)
So, before making any hasty decisions, I went to the vacuum guru for guidance and wisdom. My guru, also known as “Brandon the repair man” was found at Mid Cities Vacuum Sales and Repair. He endeavored to sell me a $500 vacuum. Obviously, that didn’t happen for him, but in the process he told me all about what to look for and what to avoid in vacuum sales. Here are some hints, in case you need to know for the future: (Which I will present in the style of Psalm 1 for no particular reason at all)
Blessed is the consumer who does not purchase in the brand name of Hoover
Or invest in the style of the bagless upright
Or undertake to suck dirt through a hepa filter.
But her delight is in the brushroll which is not plastic.
And from this brushroll she cleans the entwined hairs monthly.
Her carpet will be one in which hairballs will not multiply,
which may be walked upon by the barest of feet.
But not so the bagless upright, when the dirt gets sucked into the motor,
Or the hepa filter which were not designed for high air velocities or
voluminous amounts of dirt.
Forasmuch as the plastic brushroller shall overheat and melt, or shall break under the
strain of overmuch cleaning.
For the LORD watches over the careful consumer who researches her purchases.
But the careless shall perish and their hairballs with them.
So I went to Target and bought a wooden-rollerbrush-laden-bag-using-non-hepa-filter-mint-green Dirt Devil. To which my room mate commented, “I can’t believe you brought a demon into our house.” (I think she's been watching too much Buffy) To which I was oh-so-tempted to reply “Yes, indeed I have brought one in that sucks and blows.” However, as my demon only sucks, and does not blow at all (that I know of ) I did not voice my comment.
Saturday, March 15, 2003
I do believe it is an auspicious day in Shannonland. After years of whining and complaining I found (out of the blue) my amethyst turtle from Islamabad! I have a turtle collection and before I left Islamabad my jewler-friend gave me a little turtle carved from an amethyst. I thought I had it when I got home, but could never find it in my packing and unpacking. Today it is found!
She said, "Hell . . . if I'ma been 'pure as the driven snow' I need to get some credit for it!'
Then by way of explanation, "It had something to do with fornication, Bill Gates, a TV audience and my grandmother."
Resulting in one confused look and I replied, "Alls I'm saying is there was somekind of coin operated machine, with some kind of small animal playing some kind of sport."
Then by way of explanation, "It had something to do with fornication, Bill Gates, a TV audience and my grandmother."
Resulting in one confused look and I replied, "Alls I'm saying is there was somekind of coin operated machine, with some kind of small animal playing some kind of sport."
Friday, March 14, 2003
speaking of that lunch salad . . . I realize people cannot read my mind, they do not know why I'm asking a barage of questions concerning a salad, but they sure must be thinking some odd things when they answer me.
I'm vegan for the season and the following conversation ensues:
me: I'd like a dinner salad
her: ok
me: does it have meat on it?
her: no
me: eggs?
her: no
me: cheese?
her: no . . . but it has cucumbers.
me: ok . . . (thinking-- what does a cucumber have to do with it?) I'll take it.
her: ok.
I'm vegan for the season and the following conversation ensues:
me: I'd like a dinner salad
her: ok
me: does it have meat on it?
her: no
me: eggs?
her: no
me: cheese?
her: no . . . but it has cucumbers.
me: ok . . . (thinking-- what does a cucumber have to do with it?) I'll take it.
her: ok.
This morning I left the house late, there was an accident on the way to work, I had to go all the way around the long way. Then I couldn't find a parking place. My boss told me I was supposed to work on Wednesday, but I forgot. Then, I told my co-worker to "go away, I don't want to talk to you any more." I went to lunch, but could only have salad, I spilled my water all over the counter, some one stole my funny papers and now my wisdom tooth is coming in again.
I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
(But the optimist says, "maybe not!")
I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
(But the optimist says, "maybe not!")
Main Entry: ob·nu·bi·late
Pronunciation: äb-'nü-ba-"lAt
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): -lat·ed; -lat·ing
Etymology: Latin obnubilatus, past participle of obnubilare, from ob- in the way + nubilare to be cloudy, from nubilus cloudy, from nubes cloud -- more at OB-, NUANCE
Date: 1583
BECLOUD, OBSCURE
- ob·nu·bi·la·tion /-"nü-b&-'lA-sh&n, -"nyü-/ noun
Pronunciation: äb-'nü-ba-"lAt
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): -lat·ed; -lat·ing
Etymology: Latin obnubilatus, past participle of obnubilare, from ob- in the way + nubilare to be cloudy, from nubilus cloudy, from nubes cloud -- more at OB-, NUANCE
Date: 1583
BECLOUD, OBSCURE
- ob·nu·bi·la·tion /-"nü-b&-'lA-sh&n, -"nyü-/ noun
Thursday, March 13, 2003
Country Music makes me smile:
The lyrics to a song I heard today (as much as I can remember through the giggles)
"I cain't buy beer at the grocery store
I'm leavin' Amarillo and I a'ain't a'comin' back no more!
Screw you! You ain't worth passing through!
I'm leavin' Amarillo and I a'ain't a'comin' back no more!"
The lyrics to a song I heard today (as much as I can remember through the giggles)
"I cain't buy beer at the grocery store
I'm leavin' Amarillo and I a'ain't a'comin' back no more!
Screw you! You ain't worth passing through!
I'm leavin' Amarillo and I a'ain't a'comin' back no more!"
I went to the UTA symphony orchestra last night. It was pretty good (as much as I can tell good from bad.) I was sitting between two men. One was my friend; the other was an older Chinese gentleman. One of them, and I don't know which, frequently emitted the faintest fragrance of flatulence. I'm not friendly enough with my friend to ask him if it was him, but it was distracting. What to do?
Monday, March 10, 2003
Friday, March 07, 2003
I went to Goodwill the other day in high hopes of finding something new-to-me and fabulous. But, there was nothing for me, sadly there was also nothing for me at Salvation Army.
I was telling my sad story before class started and the woman behind me said, "You were looking for clothes at a second hand store?"
Me: "Uh . . . yeah."
Her: "I bought some clothes from a second hand store 20 years ago and got a terrible lingering skin disease. I'll never buy clothes second hand again."
Me: "Oh." (thinking did you WASH them first?-- and besides that, Eeewww!)
I was telling my sad story before class started and the woman behind me said, "You were looking for clothes at a second hand store?"
Me: "Uh . . . yeah."
Her: "I bought some clothes from a second hand store 20 years ago and got a terrible lingering skin disease. I'll never buy clothes second hand again."
Me: "Oh." (thinking did you WASH them first?-- and besides that, Eeewww!)
Yesterday I saw a camouflage painted pickup truck (which was not military, and which I thought was unfortunate at first glace.) When I got behind the pickup truck I noticed the lettering on the tailgate: “KILL ‘EM ALL. LET GOD SORT ‘EM OUT.” Even more unfortunate. Where is my camera when I NEED it?!
Monday, March 03, 2003
So, I was in the shower, shaving my leg when (uh-oh) 19 tiles including the built in soap dish fell of the wall, into the tub. Only bearly missing my toes.
As the hot water was beginning to fade, I took that as a sign that I should exit my shower. Unfortunatly I had only shaved one leg.
Now, I have one hairy-scary leg and one smooth. I called maintance, but apearently they did not believe me that, seriously, a bunch of tiles have fallen out in my shower. I hope they show up early to fix it, because all the dry wall is now wet wall and is totally rotted out. It might take a while to fix.
As the hot water was beginning to fade, I took that as a sign that I should exit my shower. Unfortunatly I had only shaved one leg.
Now, I have one hairy-scary leg and one smooth. I called maintance, but apearently they did not believe me that, seriously, a bunch of tiles have fallen out in my shower. I hope they show up early to fix it, because all the dry wall is now wet wall and is totally rotted out. It might take a while to fix.
Eccentricity-Eccentricity
I was told I was eccentric. I haven't thought of myself in that adjective before. I think of old ladies with big hats and brightly colored shoes as eccentric. You know, the ones who wear a ring (or two or three) on every finger, have crazy white hair and give you tidbits of life wisdom when you least expect it.
"If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it."
"Oh, okay."
I've thought of aspiring to eccentricity in my old age . . .
I suppose eccentricity must be measured on a scale. Maybe the one who called me eccentric just has a much smaller scale than to I.
Main Entry: 1ec·cen·tric
Pronunciation: ik-'sen-trik, ek-
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from Medieval Latin eccentricus, from Greek ekkentros, from ex out of + kentron center
Date: circa 1630
1 a : deviating from an established or usual pattern or style b : deviating from conventional or accepted usage or conduct especially in odd or whimsical ways
I was told I was eccentric. I haven't thought of myself in that adjective before. I think of old ladies with big hats and brightly colored shoes as eccentric. You know, the ones who wear a ring (or two or three) on every finger, have crazy white hair and give you tidbits of life wisdom when you least expect it.
"If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it."
"Oh, okay."
I've thought of aspiring to eccentricity in my old age . . .
I suppose eccentricity must be measured on a scale. Maybe the one who called me eccentric just has a much smaller scale than to I.
Main Entry: 1ec·cen·tric
Pronunciation: ik-'sen-trik, ek-
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from Medieval Latin eccentricus, from Greek ekkentros, from ex out of + kentron center
Date: circa 1630
1 a : deviating from an established or usual pattern or style b : deviating from conventional or accepted usage or conduct especially in odd or whimsical ways
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