I've been reading my car manual. I know, nobody actually reads car manuals, uh- I guess I'm nobody.

It's mildly entertaining. At first I was convinced that it was just crazy repetitive because they don't want to get sued- but that doesn't jive with the other quality it has of being pretty hard to understand. The writing is squirlly- like it should be clear to understand how to "manually unlock the driver's side door" since I've done that task many times on other cars, but it seemed really complicated when I read it in the manual. Like, "Whoa- I don't know if I can do THAT!"

I've sometimes wondered if manuals are written by people who are so unhappy with their lives that they have decided to torture the rest of us with poorly worded instructions. That, however, I do not believe to be the case for this Toyota manual. I now believe that it was written by people struggling to master the English language. It looks pretty good most of the time, then I come across a sentence like this: "When returning the seatback upright, be careful not to make yourself hit by the seatback which will bound with considerable spring force."

I will now never be able to say "Well, Toyota didn't warn me that I could make myself hit by the bounding seatback if I didn't use care!" No- they have warned me, and now I must heed that warning.

Another thing about my car- I have a remote door unlock- The actual remote also works as the ignition key. There are however regular key holes on the doors of the car. Right? I mean, all cars have key holes, or do they? I realized only yesterday that I didn't actually have a key for the key hole. Wait a minute- I do have a key hole don't I? I looked out my apartment window- Hmpht- I don't see one on the passenger side door- odd. I can't take the suspense, I had to go outside and check it out.

In fact there is no key hole on the passenger's side door- there is not key hole on the hatch door- but there is a key hole on the driver's side door. That means there must be a key. Turns out there is a 'secret' key on the remote that only opens the driver's side door- because as it turns out, that's the only door with a key hole.

I better keep reading the manual.