Job 33:28

Friday, June 01, 2007


For those who have asked, everything’s fine.
For those who haven’t asked, everything’s fine.

Buzz and I have been enjoying the easy life of mooching off of people who actually have jobs. It works like this, if you let me come stay with you I’ll do house chores and make cookies for you . . . I’m thinking rice crispy treats and laundry . . . maybe chocolate chip cookies and vacuuming . . . Buzz will try not to pee on your stuff and will sit around looking cute. He will also bark at anyone who dares come to your door (including you) and will look longingly at your food while you eat it.

I bought a car- so far so good, but I’ve only used one take of gas. It’s a 1986 Nissan ZX300. What does that mean to me? It means it’s a hatch back and I like hatchbacks.

It’s a sports car that was on the road before I hit puberty. It does not have a back seat. It’s not supposed to. It’s a silver-ish sort of color.

It’s a manual. That particular feature mocks and taunts me, but slowly I am taming the beast.

It talks to me. It tells me things that I should already know- but have somehow forgotten. That would be a very useful feature if it told me all the things I needed to know but had somehow forgotten. But so far it’s only told me “Headlights are on.” and “Emergency break is on.”

It has T-tops, which sound cool, but in reality they only let the summer sun shine brightly down on my head and make me wish I had a hat on and squint my eyes. Squinting causes wrinkles. This car may make me wrinkly.

It has a cd changer, but I have no idea how to use it. It has a satellite radio port and antenna, but no satellite radio.

It was once owned by a man who made a living dressed as a clown who represents a major fast-food restaurant chain.

No- that’s not true.

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