Anwar- my auto driver/tour guide took me all around Udaipur- palaces, gardens, monuments- blah-blah. But before all that there was Laxmi. The streets of Udaipur, like the streets of so many old cities are narrow and dangerous. Especially dangerous if there is an uncooperative Elephant blocking the way. Anwar turned to me and said, “That’s Laxmi” like Laxmi was an old friend.

I looked around Anwar’s head out the front window of the auto rickshaw and saw Laxmi- Laxmi it seemed wanted to go up the hill- Laxmi’s rider wanted him to go down- it was a battle of the wills. Apparently Elephants- or maybe just Laxmi don’t/didn’t have much of a will; and after a short discussion involving a stick with a hook on it- down the hill they went.

An angry elephant is not what you want 20 feet in front on you when your in no more than an over grown tricycle. I was glad Laxmi was kinda laid back that day.

After Laxmi my next animal kingdom encounter was even smaller, fuzzier and scarier. Anwar took me to this place where the Maharajas went to be buried. There were more than 200 enormous markers- and by marker I mean 2 to 3 story marble, dome topped gazebo looking things. Each Maharaja had his own and size had to do with importance and wealth- a few were massive- bigger than some houses others were more gazebo size.

As I was walking around I felt all alone in the world- obviously not a popular tourist destination- you aren’t really allowed to take pictures there- but for a mere 20 rupees the guard can be convinced. I was walking around taking pictures when I saw white people.

We chatted a bit and they pointed out the oldest and biggest dome- they said, “There’s a monkey in there- but he’s a black faced one so don’t worry.”
I said, “Oh he won’t bother me?”
They said, “No- the black faced monkeys are pretty tame- but the red faced ones are fascists.”
I said, “Oh- well over to the monkey I go then.”
I walked over toward the monkey/dome and the monkey poked his head around a column and looked at me.
Maybe I looked at him too long- but I wanted to be sure he wasn’t going to do anything crazy. I climbed the stairs slowly- the monkey kept his eye on me. I kept my eye on the monkey.

Once I got to the top he decided he didn’t like me and he bared his teeth and made a frightening monkey noise. I thought that was pretty fascist even if he was a black faced monkey.

I started backing up- then realized just in time that I was about 10 feet above the marble base of the structure and if I took one more step back I was sure to break my melon- then the monkey would probably eat my brain before Anwar got around to looking for me.

I took one more look at the fascist monkey and as calmly as I could walked down the stairs and away from the structure. I looked back once and the monkey was following me!

I started walking faster anywhere but where I was seemed good to me- unfortunately I was walking in the wrong direction. When I dared look back after a minute or so I realized the monkey wasn’t tailing me any more; but after wandering the entire parameter of the burial ground I realized I had to go back past the monkey spot.

Needless to say that was a quick exit- but no monkey sighting on the way out.

I told Anwar to take me back to the hotel and my new friend the bathtub.

I had seen enough of Udaipur.