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I have this box of cassette tapes under my bed. Every time I clean under my bed, I look at the box and think, “I never listen to those tapes, I should throw them away.” (do you have to use quotation marks when you are thinking? I'm going with "yes.")

Then I think, “but I really liked those ones, maybe I’ll listen to them in the car." I even went so far as to take some of them to the car once and I listened to them a few times, then I spilled grape juice on them, but I still can’t convince myself to throw them away. I’m going to do it though—I’m going to! No more sticky grape juice Wham! tape. No more icky-purple Dwight Yoakum, I say “no!” to the Hits of 1997!

But there is one, one spared the grape juice, one that I must keep for . . . well, I must keep it forever and forever.

It’s labeled “Music to Drive to Church By” and the cover has a Confederate flag and a heart that says “ONJ+DM” on it. The song selections include ‘Walk on the Wild Side,’ ‘Billion Dollar Baby,’ some Jonathan Richman, lots of Olivia Newton John and a short story or two. My favorite of course is the one about walking across the dam in the storm.

I’m not feeling that mellow these days.