The first thing I heard when I walked into work this morning:
Two men conversing-
" . . . that really chaps my ass."
"I know."
"I went home last night and went straight to bed, because I knew that today we were going to be f- (glaces at me) screwed!"
"I know! Me too! I didn't even have any beers, I went straight to bed."
"Uh well, I had some beers, but I went straight to bed, but I couldn't sleep, because I didn't have any a/c!"
"Yeah, it's hot . . ."

I tell you what, these were not the kind of men I even wanted to consider with chapped asses, drinking beer in the heat. (Okay, so I don't want to consider anybody in that condition really, but as it turns out my imagination if formidable.)