I watched Bubble Boy this weekend. Twice. I endorse it.

“Do what I tell your father to do, just say the pledge of allegiance over and over until it goes away.”

“Have you seen my son?!”
“Yeah, your weird ass son got on a bus with some bright and shiny people, they were heading off to Las Vegas, you know, Satan's anus.”

“Bright and Shiny! Bright! and Shiny! . . . if you save yourself for God, you will get the golden rod!”

“Have you ever been karmically bitch slapped by a six armed goddess?!”

I was just starting to dig the whole idea of working 8 days a month when I realized that in two more weeks, the semester and my job ends. Drat! I need a sponser.

I got this on an email titled "If Iraq won the war" . . . do Iraqi women even wear burkas?

She said, “Okay, it’s late, I want you to come right back. You don’t need to be out all night, because I think you both know what kinds of things boys and girls do alone together in the dark.”

I SO wanted to give my most naive and blameless look and say, “No, I don’t know what they do. Is it a Bible study?”

Can I have that red wine vinaigrette if you aren’t going to keep it?

The collective score on the purity test was 71.25. I’m pretty sure the other two were bringing me down. What would EE say?!

Eve Ensler's play "The Vagina Monologues" (a series of explicit speeches on sexuality and repression) was performed at a hotel in Islamabad, Pakistan, in March, by Ms. Ensler and a troupe of local actresses (bundled in their traditional clothing) to an invited audience of 150, who apparently loved it, according to a report in Toronto's Globe and Mail. "If (the play) can happen here, it can happen anywhere," said Ms. Hibaaq Osman, a Somali Muslim activist, who in a fit of enthusiasm renamed the capital city "Vaginabad." "Having these Pakistani women talking about vibrators (is) what it's all about." [Globe and Mail, 3-17-03]

Good Friday
The origin of the term Good is not clear. Some say it is from "God's Friday" (Gottes Freitag); others maintain that it is from the German Gute Freitag, and not specially English. Sometimes, too, the day was called Long Friday by the Anglo-Saxons; so today in Denmark.

Maudy Thursday
Canon 24 of the Council of Carthage dispenses the faithful from fast before communion on Holy Thursday, because, on that day, it was customary take a bath, and the bath and fast were considered incompatible.

Something has gone tragically WRONG!

Oh my gosh. I've seen things I did not want see. I've exposed library patrons to things nice little Indian boys and girls should never even know about!!

Wow, I was just going to check on the welovetheiraqiinformationminister site and this warning came up about adult content. "Well," say I to myself, "This must be a joke for last time assuredly I nary saw anything of adult only content." Oh, and alas, how wrong I was! I couldn't close that window fast enough, and when I did, FIVE more popped up! What? I'M FREAKING IN A PUBLIC PLACE!!

So, that being said, I was going to check the site for the latest update concerning the information minister, however, I cannot do it now. I am frightened that parts might start showing up all over the place again.

Seriously, how do they get a porno site with a name ANYWHERE NEAR "welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com"?!

I was honked at and waved at five times, and asked if I wanted a ride twice in the mile and a half walk to school this morning. I think it’s the dress. Not that I'm wearing a particularly alluring dress, but just that it's a dress. For some reason men always look at women wearing dresses differently ... to say the least they are generally more . . . helpful . . . or something along those lines.

Mental note: when traveling on the interstate, always wear a dress. (the whole looking- helpless, “I’m sure I can’t possibly change a tire all by my little ol’ self” bit always works better with a dress.)

"Except for the sky, there are no fences facing."
Mr Tamborine Man, Bob Dylan

from www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com

"I speak better English than this villain Bush"
"We will welcome them with bullets and shoes."
"We will kill them all........most of them."
"they are nowhere near the airport ..they are lost in the desert...they can not read a compass...they are retarded."
[On surrenders] "Those are not Iraqi soldiers at all. Where did they bring them from?"
"I blame Al-Jazeera - they are marketing for the Americans!"
"They're coming to surrender or be burned in their tanks."

15 April - Breaking news: Iranian paper reports rumor that Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf (M.S.S.) may have commited suicide by hanging

smart people use their time more wisely

You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.


What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Gay Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Until further notice, my new hotmail address is flipflipsummer

I had a message on my answering machine last week that said I was fired from my crappy part time job at the satellite company. I suppose I’d been expecting it. I tried for a while to figure out what I had done wrong. The message said it was because there just wasn’t enough work. That was a lie, but, the easiest way out I suppose.

The conclusions I came to were 1. I wasn’t eager or needy enough in the job. They would say, “You want to pick up an extra shift?” I’d say “No.” They’d say, “You want to stay late (No) or come in early?” I’d say, “No.” I came in when I was scheduled, and left on time.

The other thing was the perverted owner of the company. He called the other girls in the office cute little nick-names like “Fat-Ass” and “Useless-Bitch.” He came in one day and insisted on licking some girl’s toes. (What the . . .? I KNOW!) They would laugh at him and act like they thought it was all acceptable behavior. Of course they would only complain when he was gone. I never had the misfortune to meet the man, and I never pretended it was funny when he said asinine things on the phone.

One day he called, cussed everyone out and told them to close the office (in the middle of the day) because he was mad. (You don’t gotta tell me twice) I left. The next day they said they then got yelled at for leaving. I told them he sounded bi-polar and if he ever treated me like he treats the other girls I’d charge him with sexual harassment.

Guess I should keep my mouth shut about all future plans.

Well, being fired solved one problem anyway. Since the ex-boyfriend wanted his ex-wife’s ex-car back the week before, with one less job, I no longer needed to worry about how I was going to get to work.

My friend pointed out that if the opposite had been the case, if I had suddenly gotten a job and a car out of the blue, I’d have a lot to praise God about. I could then, as the Baptists do, say, “It’s all in God’s perfect timing and isn’t it amazing?”

Ah what the heck anyway? “It’s all in God’s perfect timing. Isn’t it amazing?”

Want to know what else is amazing? I got a letter in the mail yesterday that said (lucky me) all my student information has been stolen from the UT system. Bye-bye Identity, see you later Social Security number, been nice knowing you Direct Deposit Bank Information. I’ll miss you--- All My Private Information! Whever gets my ID is going to be sorry they picked me. I don't have anything to take adventage of.

This morning I was informed that my five year old hotmail address had been deleted. Again, it was nice while it lasted, Address Book.

I am blessed to be a blessing.

"free is always better . . . unless it's sugar free . . . then it's not better."

A stranger started guessing my bra size in the store the other day. Sure, we had had some polite conversation for a few minutes, but when she started guessing, I felt a little violated! I considered informing her of the general social understanding that strangers (even friends) don't guess another's bra size! I decided to just back away, quietly.

The next day a guy siddled up to me to ask if I was married. Huh, well, pickup lines are getting more direct. (In the parking lot!) I said, yes. That did not have the detering effect I had hoped for. He followed me across the parking lot, (in the rain) to ask me if I had kids, if I needed ride, if I wanted him to buy me some flowers.

People are weird.

"You mark my words, everybody is coming back to God. You will see, we shall all see."
"I used the word," said Tristram brutally, "as a gesture of defiance. It is just a dirty word, that's all."
"Exactly," said the unfrocked with quiet joy. "All dirty words are fundamentally religious. They are all concerned with fertility and the processes of fertility and the organs of fertility. God, we are taught, is love."

The Wanting Seed Anthony Burgess

Word of the day

Main Entry: log·or·rhea
Pronunciation: "lo-g&-'rEa
Function: noun
Etymology: New Latin
Date: circa 1892
: excessive and often incoherent talkativeness or wordiness

I was asking alot of questions about the planetarium here on campus, my coworker said, "I don't know! Go ask the geology department!"

The geology department?!

In an effort to prove to myself that that was a random mistake, that most people really do know what department would be running a planetarium on university campus, I asked someone else, "What department would you contact if you wanted information on the planetarium?" He said, "I don't know, Botany?"

Apparently this was not a point I would be proving to myself today.