“So … we’re robbing the bank?”

 I had plans for the long weekend.  When I say plans- I mean not only plans to do, but also plans to NOT do.  I planned to try out my sewing machine after it had been in the shop for several weeks.  I planned to read a book I had picked up at school. I planned to pack up the Christmas decorations, because, yes- they are still up.  I planned to work on the MOUNTAIN of laundry growing mightily in the laundry room. I planned to sleep in, and to have lunch with a friend on Monday.  I planned NOT to do any major house work, Not to study, Not to waist time at the grocery store, Not to spend (a lot of) time on social media.

Things- of course- went off course.  I wasn’t feeling great on Friday.  I was tired, and I went to bed early. (No reading.) I slept in on Saturday (Yay!) then I got up with the plan to stop by an office which had advertised it was closing and giving away unwanted office supplies.  The contact had stated that I should bring a box, as there were lots of folders, files, binders, desk organizers, pens, pencils etc.  I still wasn’t feeling great, but I took my box and went to the office as planned.  I expected to spend not more than a few minutes picking up some supplies, then a short trip to the store- the doggies were HANGRY!- then back home to do and not do for the weekend.

When I got the office it was a suite on one of the upper floors of a Chase bank.  I had to walk through the bank lobby to get to the elevators.  When I got to the suite I was looking for the contact introduced herself and said, “Anything you see that is not labeled ‘Rik’ is available. Do you want any cubicles?  How about this executive conference table? Any need for these dozen filing cabinets?”

 I said, “I just came for pencils and desk organizers.” 

 She said, “Oh! We have that too!” As we walked through the suite she pointed out all the things that were up for grabs, monitors, extension cords, network cords, chairs, desks, shelves, cabinets, tables . . .

Although I knew it I would regret it, I called my husband.  He has a passion for cords and power strips.  I saw some computer equipment I thought me might be interested in- admittedly - I thought I would like some man power to pack a few shelves into the van.  Not that I needed shelves, but some of their shelves were nicer than my current shelves so I thought a trade out would be nice.

D came up and we spent the next THREE AND A HALF HOURS pillaging the suite.  He brought Lailah and Tamzin with him, and they had a grand time playing with the phones, spinning on the office chairs, rummaging around in mostly empty cubicles and desks, and collecting “awesome things” like old birthday decorations and left-behind mugs.  D collected many boxes of cords, cables, backup power supplies, a monitor and a few unidentified objects which “looked useful.”

We ended up with 5 chairs, 4 tables, 5 shelves, boxes of cords, desk supplies, binders, folders, decorations, and two punch bowls with 6 cups and a Dallas Police Department mug. 

By the time we were done the bank had closed, and the doors were locked.  We could go out, but we wouldn’t be able to get back in-so we piled everything in the lobby, then moved it from the lobby to the van all at once.  The girls were getting restless as D jigsawed everything into the van, and they started to get a little wild- running around and touching everything.  I told them they couldn’t touch other people’s things or run around  breaking things like wild people.  They asked, “Why not?”  I explained that this was a bank, but it was closed, but we had to respect other people’s property because they were going to come back to work on Tuesday and wonder who broke or moved their stuff.  

That’s when Lailah started logic-ing.  She said, “So- this is a bank?”

I said, “Yes.”

Lailah: “And it’s closed, but we’re in it?”

Me: “Yeah”

Lailah: “And we can’t move stuff around or break it because we don’t want people to know we were here.”

Me: “Well, yeah I guess so”. 

Lailah: “And we are taking all this stuff we got from here home?”

Me: “Yes.”

Lailah: “So- we’re robbing the bank?!”

Me: “NO! We are NOT ROBBING THE BANK!!! Do NOT go to school next week and tell your friends and teachers that you robbed a bank over the weekend!”

Lailah: “But why are we being quiet and taking all this stuff out of the bank?”

Me: “Okay, we are in the bank now, but when we were upstairs it was a different business, and they GAVE us all this stuff because they don’t want it any more.  We just are in the bank now because this is how you get out of the building!”

Lailah: “Are you sure?”

Me: “YES! I’m SURE we are NOT ROBBING the bank, okay?”

Lailah: “Yeah-okay.”

Tamzin: “I like robbing the bank!”

Me: “Oh my gosh- I’m going to get calls about this . . .”

In the end- we spent all afternoon/evening Saturday “robbing the bank” and unloading the loot, and going to the store for the dogs, all day/evening Sunday at Gene’s birthday celebration, and I spend most of the afternoon on Monday chatting, lunching, and shopping with a friend.  I still wasn’t feeling great- so I rested on Monday evening- read, watched a movie, looked at the giant pile of laundry and then went on about NOT folding it.

It was not a bad weekend- just not the one I planned/planned not.