self reflection

Self reflection is what the purpose of my blog was way back in the day.  I didn't really expect anyone to want to read it.  I still have pretty low expectations.  I fell out of the self expression game.  Then came facebook, where self expression comes in the form of memes and shared news stories.  It is much easier- very little effort is involved.

I've been going to Toast Masters meetings.  It's not because I have a deep desire to be a better public speaker, it is because I teach a class on public speaking and taking my students to these meetings gives them a chance to hear Americans speak on a variety of topics, and shows them what I expect from them.  Of course it doesn't hurt me at all to get paid for an hour of work I got some body else to do for me.

One of the speeches today was about the "Starving Baker"  The guy who gets so busy taking care of everyone else that he doesn't have time to eat, or take care of himself.  The girl who spoke said that she felt she had let herself get too busy, so she took a step back and determined to do somethings she wanted to do instead of only things she felt like she had to do.  One of the things she wanted to do was join Toast Masters (of all things) and the other was to take more time for self reflection through writing in her journal.

That reminded me that my poor blog was her languishing for years.  And maybe I could benefit from some self reflection too.

My reflection for today is this.  I really enjoy my job.  Teaching is fun, and getting to meet and talk to students from all around the world is interesting.  However, sometimes I wish I had a desk job.  I wish I could go to work and sit down with a cup of coffee and browse the internet for 20-30 minutes in the morning while I got settled.  I wish I could randomly, in between projects start reading about topics that interest me.  I wish I had time- time that I had to be sitting at my desk anyway, to look busy by writing on my blog about all the things that I learned about in the random reading I did on company time.

I know that's not very aspirational.  I don't want to be a boss- I don't want to be in charge- I just want to sit at a desk, do my work, waste some time and go home at the end of the work day without having to think about my work at all again until I get up and go back in the next day.

Sometimes I think I really should have been a librarian, but they don't get the awesome holidays that teachers get.