Many guys seem to be looking for a woman who, if she exists, was snatched up as a precious resource long ago. Slender, toned and curvy- to be honest; if she is one, she is probably not the other. Most likely she will either be slender and toned, OR curvy. You know that, right? Guys want her to be into sports; watching, playing- watching him playing . . . They think a picture of him with a bunch of Hooter girls will make all the rest of us envy his position in the universe. Not so.

I am a woman. I like things women like, I do things women do. As unique as we each are- I’m ready to admit that men are men and women are women, I like it that way. Call me old fashioned.

I like romantic comedies. I smell the flowers each time I pass by in the grocery store. I read fantasy novels, classic literature and once every few years I’ll read a romance or trashy novel just to make sure I still don’t like them. I could knit you a sweater, but I probably won’t. I’m bad at math and logic, but my common sense and perceptiveness are excellent. I like to use words with precise meanings. I grew up in PA. I’ve lived in the south for more than half my life, but I retain some basic tenets of my upbringing: “ten” and “tin” are pronounced completely differently, “oil” has two syllables “five” has one syllable, and you shouldn’t judge people because of what color they are, what religion they are or what their occupation is. I’ve picked up as much Southern etiquette as my Yankee brain can manage. I am eclectic. My dog knows seven tricks and will attempt to do them all simultaneously for the right treat, me too. I have a short attention span, but I am patient when I need to be. I am a Christian. I like the idea of Post modernity. I love to travel. I crack myself up- I want someone to make me laugh. I don’t eat meat, but it’s not because of animal rights. I think we need to work on human rights before we spend too much energy on animal rights. I read my Bible regularly. I know how to say, “Go away fat cow.” in Norwegian. I know how to say, “There’s a fish on my head” in French. I’m bad at learning languages- but I like to try. I’m bad at drawing, but I like to try. I drive a car which is older than my college-age students. I like it. I teach grammar- my grammar isn’t so great. My spelling is terrible. Sometimes I wonder, “What would Jesus do?” But then I don’t think he would do what most other people think he would do. I’m a Virgo, and I think that if God could create the Universe- he could also tell us a little about ourselves as he was writing out the plans in the stars. I collect turtles, not live ones. I listen to all kids of music. I have a great desire to see Niagara Falls. I love the Lord of the Rings books and movies. I play WoW. If I were reading this I would have already stopped- see short attention span above. To conclude, I am not toned or slender- curvy yes- large curves. I have a waist and easily identifiable breeder hips and breasts. I would say “full figured” but that seems to be a euphemism for morbidly obese. Let’s say Rubenesque. I’m looking for a man who is a Christian all the time, not just on Sundays.