I took Buzz to Fort Woof- the dog park in Fort Worth (clever eh?) Things were going great, he was sniffing around the fence, peeing miniscule amounts on every post, table, weed, and blade of grass he could find, when all of the sudden this big dog came barreling toward us screaming it's head off.

It was that screaming sound a dog emits when it is either really hurt or really scared. It was a rottweiler. She was screaming “Help me! Help me! I’m being chased by a wild animal.” At least that’s what I think she was screaming- in doggie language.

She was probably too big to be in the “small dog” park. She was only a puppy- but even puppy rottweilers can be big- and she was. She was running toward any help she could get-and I happened to be the closet human in the line of the chase. I saw what was chasing her. She was right, it was a wild animal- it was a ferocious miniature poodle- a little white one with extra curly fur.

Well, Buzz didn’t like that screaming, nor the bulling- not one bit. He’s a peace keeping kind of dog, unless of course he’s the one picking the fight. So he jumped right in and started barking at the poodle.

In the mean time, the humans who belonged to the rotweiler were trying to figure out what he heck had happened to their dog. I was trying to tell the puppy she was okay, and the poodle was trying to figure out what the fuss was all about. I think he just wanted to play- but when things escalated into a running-screaming-chasing scenario he just went along with it.

But the picture of a rotweiler being chased by a miniature poodle, and a miniature dachshund defending the rotweiler against the poodle- that just make me laugh.

I've been visiting churches lately. And by "visiting churches" I mean I've taken several weeks, to convince myself that going to one church or another is a good idea, dragged myself to a service and felt tortured the full time I was attending service and/or Sunday school.

I think the problem is the size. Size does matter.

I am used to small churches. I guess I just like them better.

The church I went to last month disturbed me when the swing band up on stage started blasting out "It is Well With My Soul" full horns and drums. The worship leader was snapping and swiveling his hips in a way that would have made Elvis proud and I was thinking, 'This is a song written by a man who had just lost his three daughters! I don't imagine him swing dancing across the deck as his ship passed over the waters where his children drown.'

In the church I went to today the pastor kept saying, "Does your heart beat a skip?" I know I'm way too critical- but it so easy when they hand it to me like that. It makes my little ESL heart beat a skip.

The Sunday school teacher was telling a joke: Let me see if I can remember it- An atheist was angry about the fact that everyone had holidays to celebrate except him- so he got a lawyer and said, "Look, the Christians have Easter and Christmas, the Jews have Hannakah and Lent- . . ." It is at this point that that my head tilted to the right and I thought, 'Did he just say the Jews have Lent?!'

And the rest of what he had to say was out the window- I mean if he thinks the Jews own Lent, what's the point of going on?

But the rest of the joke- the Jews have Lent- and I demand a holiday for atheists! So they went to court and presented the case. The judge listened, but when the argument was presented he slammed his gavel down and said, this case is dismissed! The atheist said, "What! I want a holiday!" The judge responded, "In the Psalms it says, "The fool says in his heart there is no God." You have a holiday, it is April 1st."

That was just a filler, the projector was down, and obviously it was useless to try to give a speach off a piece of paper when there was a perfectly malfunctioning powerpoint projector in the room.

The joke didn't fill the whole time the projector was down, so some other guy got up to give an announcement- he asked us when they should move the class time to (how could I know?) and told us we needed to be "Kinda specific."

Kinda specific.
Really.