Dear Support group

First, you can’t stop me! Nobody can stop me! I am even now gathering an army of knitters- together we will knit our way into the UN with me as Queen of the Knitting Nation!

Second, you mentioned “Thou shalt not read about knitting.” I would like to let you know that is a common mistranslation. It actually reads “Thou shall not read about quiffing” Which was an ancient game played by the most wicked of people. It involved a baby pig, large forks and a vast quantity of honey. I can’t go into more detail, it’s simply too horrid.

The church of no-knit no-purl has been missing out on the many blessings of knitting (and purling) for many years. And Mr. Dangly resents the implication of being involved in such a gauche movement.

Finally I’ll have you know I’m no novice I’m right up there in upper intermediate!

I shall not engage you on this topic any further- so please be quiet about it or I’ll knit you a muzzle.