I have received some “compliments” or perhaps just benign comments which remind me how other people view me.

Sometimes I look at people my age and think, “Do I look that old?” In my mind I don’t. Please no comments to the contrary- I like to believe my imagination on these matters.

I met a young woman while traveling and she asked me what kind of work I did. I told her I was a teacher. She said, “You look like a teacher.”

Now, in my opinion, there are some professions which may be noble and good and useful- I just don’t want to be pigeon-holed as “looking like” a stereo-typical member of .

On my list of professions I personally don’t want to “look like” are:
teacher
missionary
librarian
scientist
IHOP waitress
cafeteria lady
truck driver

I’ve worked as, or as assistant to all but two of the above professions. Actually I’ve known some very attractive people in these professions, but they are not the stereo-typical examples- they are a-typical, they are the ones about whom people say, “You’re a _________?! You don’t look like one.” And that is a compliment.

Similarly, there are some nationalities one may not want to be accused of being. This one varies from place to place and between situations. For example, in UAE I did not want to be called Russian- not because there was anything wrong with Russians, but because many of the Russian women in the area were known prostitutes.

This weekend someone asked me if I was from Finland. I said, “No.” He said that was funny because I look very Finnish. Honestly I don’t know what specific features Finnish people have, but in my imagination, which as I said, I like to believe, they are quite pale. Pale as in nearly see-through- hurts-your-eyes-in-the-sun pale with big blue veins. I get this image from seeing the tourists who would come to the beach in Cyprus, they were usually Scandinavian.

I know, I know not all Scandinavians are deathly pale and I’m sure there are some drop-dead gorgeous Finns- (can’t say I’ve known any personally) but the stereo-type . . .

Finally this Indian girl came up to me on the beach and said, “You are so milky.” It’s one of those things that yeah, okay-I know it’s a compliment in this culture- but it doesn’t translate well across cultures.

A white girl sitting on the beach doesn’t want to hear she is “milky.”

Indians have a large market for “fairness cream.” They take great pains to avoid getting darker skin. They use umbrellas on sunny days, they will fully cover to avoid the sun, the beach was more crowded at sunset than it was mid-day. Fair women in India are considered quite attractive. “Milky” is good, unless you are always “milky” and you are at the beach trying to look less Finnish and more Indian, when in fact you are neither one.