Southerners say my pronunciation patterns are nasally. I say, “At least I know and can pronounce the difference between pen and pin.” Northerners say my vowels are too long and twangy. I say, “Get off my back you bunch of pronunciation Nazis!”

I have difficulty hearing and can’t pronounce the difference between “cot” and “caught.”

So, sue me!
I’m a linguist, I’m an English teacher. (I’m a scientist.)
No, not really.