So, I think my most powerful planets are in retrograde or something . . . that was my excuse last time a “series of unfortunate events” happened to me. Let me tell you, Lemony Snicket or whatever her name is, don’t got that market cornered.

I suppose I’ll have to read the book to find out her gig, but I have a lot of complaining to do. Of course there is no time for it all now. I was diligently watching TV and knitting tonight. I finished my hat (oh-so-woefully-incorrectly-but-done) and my matching legwarmers got their final touch. Now, I shall begin work on the matching scarf and things will be well in my world. At least that is the theory.

I propose this theory to myself every day. Thus far I have been wrong (for at least the past two weeks) but I’m an optimist.

Today I was late for work. I had to stop by Auto Zone to get some power steering fluid. I am currently driving a friend’s car and while driving along yesterday it suddenly became nearly impossible to turn the wheel. I all but gave myself internal injuries trying to go around the block, because the needed U-turn was out of the question. It was 7 something AM, and I walked into Auto Zone and said, “I need steering fluid.”
The guy looked at me and cocked his head as if to say, “uh-oh crazy woman”
So I corrected myself by saying, “I need steering fluid,” and making pantomiming driving actions.
With rising intonation he said, “Steering fluid?”
I said, “Yes. I need (mental note, I know I’m missing a word here) steering fluid.”
He said, (as he suppressed a giggle) “You mean power steering fluid?”
And I said, “Yes Jack Ass POWER steering fluid! It’s freaking 7:00AM, get off my back! How often do you think I buy this crap?!”
No, I didn’t say that at all.
I said. “Yeah, that.”

As we approached the counter I realized that I had no idea where to put this power steering fluid. So I asked the guy if he would help me.
He said, “sure.”
When we got outside he said, “pop the hood.”
I said, “I don’t know how.”
Now, I am all about the “I’m just a girl, and this is a car!” routine, but my interactions up to that point with this guy were over the top even for me. Honestly though, I had no idea how to pop the hood. What made me feel better was that he didn’t know how to either. The manager of the store had to come out and find the well hidden lever.

So the guy puts the stuff in and it was like a freaking miracle fluid! Suddenly I could turn and have no worries of a hernia.

I got to work late and nobody was around. Eventually, I figured out there was a mandatory meeting. I ran up to it, got there just in time to win a prize and sign the attendance sheet. I got back to my desk and spilled an entire cup of hot tea all over my lap. From my hips to my knees—spiced tea with cream and sugar. (I just knew it was going to be really yummy too! Drat!)
Ironically the meeting I missed was concerning “spill clean up.” So . . . I had to go to Wal-Mart to buy new pants to wear the rest of the day.

Perhaps tomorrow I will chronicle why I was not driving my car and the other “personality quirks” of the car I’m currently driving.