A few things my professor has said in class this semester:

"Get together with two other people in groups of four."
(I laughed out loud, and when he asked why I repeated what he said, and pointed out that would only be three.) To which he replied, "Well, genius isn't logical, or something."

"This exercise was kind of pointless, it's kind of like playing with yourself . . . "

"Imagine linguistic input is like rubber balls being thrown at you. In the class room it is manageable because the balls are limited, and you know what to look for. But in the real world, it's hard because a thousand rubber balls are coming at you and you are supposed to only catch the blue balls, but you don't know it and all the balls are hitting you, when all you wanted were the blue balls (giggles) blue balls, that's funny. Non native speakers, I'm laughing because the word "balls" in English is kind of funny."

"This theory was put forth in the mid 1980s, then everyone jumped on the gang banging- er no, I mean gang wangon, what is it? Band wagon!"