I bought a dvd player. When I turned it on for the firs time it said, "WAIT . . . LORD"
Well, that caught me off guard. I wasn't sure how I felt about my new audio visiual equipment addressing me as "LORD" when I realized that it had really said "LOAD."

Which makes me wonder 1. why I can't read and 2. why I often assume the oddest things when I misunderstand a word or situation.

One time I was riding with my friend when I saw a sign that said, "10% DISC NT" So I said, "Hey did you see that? It said 10% disco night!" (It was a Ci Ci's pizza place) "What does it mean? Is it 10% off if you dress like a disco person? or do they play disco music and you get 10% off?"

My friend looked at me and said, "Are you kidding? That says '10% DISCOUNT' the "U" fell out!"

Oh. I still thought Disco night would be more fun.

Not only can I not read, I can't speak either! The other day I was making fun of my co-worker for saying "elbow tennis" in stead of tennis elbow and I was all. "Oh no, I have tellbow ennis! . . . ah wait . . . I mean elbow tennis . . . I mean tennis elbow . . . dang it!"

Those brain cells are going fast.