I’m inspired after watching Amelie for the first time. (I’ve decided I should watch it every week until the end of the semester, you know to learn French, and be inspired of course.) I was inspired first to write a few lists about myself. I will share one of my lists at this time:

Things I was afraid of as a child. (not exhaustive and in no particular order)

1. Public toilets with black seats.
2. Flying insects.
3. Being thrown away.
4. The “Melting Man” who sometimes visited under my grandparent’s stair case.
5. The bathtub ghost.
6. Chickens.

An explanation of these fears:

Public toilets with black seats made exceptionally loud flushing noises. These noises had something to do with why I made my mother, with the bad back, hold me over the black toilet seat to pee so I didn’t have to touch it. Maybe I thought it would suck me down? I don’t know.

Flying insects; when I was a baby I ate a live bee. Just picked it up and popped it in my mouth. It stung me of course. Ever after I was afraid of flying insects. I didn’t know why until my mother told me this bee-eating story.

Being thrown away, I’m sure my older brothers had something to do with this one. I have a vivid memory of a windy day, walking across a parking lot and the wind was blowing me away from my mother and toward a garbage can. I was sure the wind was trying to throw me away.

The Melting Man. Although Dracula stole my Mickey Mouse ring, I was not afraid of him. I was afraid of the Melting Man whom I suspected vacationed under my grandparent’s stairs. There was one step missing at their house. There was a board placed where the step should have been, but there was no backing on it, so a little girl could see all the blackness behind the step. Although I knew full well that there was a games closet under the stair case, I was still sure some times the Melting Man was there too. I was never afraid to open the closet, but I was some times afraid to step on that board. (because he might reach his melty hand out and try to grab me) Some mornings after I suspected the Melting Man had waited all night for me to step on that step, I would check the closet (in the full light of day, nautrally) to see if he had accidentally melted on any of the games. This fear too, I believe, stemmed from my brother’s tall tales.

I’m sure the bathtub ghost was my own doing. I knew (don’t know how I knew, but I did) that if I was not dried, dressed and out of the bathroom by the time all the water had run out of the tub, the bathtub ghost would come out of the drain and try to suck me down with him! But, if an adult was in the room with me, he couldn’t come up, and if one walked in, he had to let me go. Apparently I had some trouble with bathroom fixtures as a child.

Finally, chickens. I don’t believe I need a reason for this. Chickens are scary! They are dirty and ugly and gross, and they run up and peck you on the feet for no reason at all! (Even when you aren’t stealing their eggs.) Never trust a chicken.