Someone told me the other day that she thought the “stars were aligned for her” all the little things were going right. She hit all the green lights on the way to work, she found her favorite pen, things were good.

I’m beginning to think the stars are against me. At least one of them is out to get me.

This morning I think I broke my little toe. I was in a hurry so I put on my shoe and walked out the door. It hurt, but who has time for complaining little toes? When I got to work I took my shoe off and saw that it was bleeding. Hmptht! Stupid little toe, bleeding in my shoe. But I’m not going to put a bandage on it, oh no! I’m wearing control top hose, there’s no way I’m taking these suckers off for a little inconsequential toe!

Sunday I went for a walk in the woods. I was looking for a fossil. Not only did I not find a fossil, but just as I was about to get back to level ground, I fell. I don’t know how, but I strained and scraped my left wrist, and got bruises and scrapes on my right hip, my left shin, my right elbow. While accomplishing all that I, at the very same moment (and this hurt the most at the time) I fell right on, (smack flat on) my right boob.

I told my friend looking for a little sympathy and she laughed and said, “You FELL on your BOOB?!” Well, it’s not like I tripped over it! “Yes! I fell right on it!” Says she: “I think I would have hit my nose first.” My nose—that’s one of the few things not effected.

Late last week I lost my purse. Details below.

So now, I have a lost purse, a broken bloody little toe, a skinned shin, a strained wrist and a bruised boob. (Among other things.)

I’m hoping for better things soon.