One evening I was lying in bed reading a book (I did that a lot over the summer- it was pretty great.) when I started feeling uncomfortable. Like abdominal cramps and back pain at the same time. I thought maybe I had been lying in bed reading too long.
I got up and walked around, went to the bathroom, got a drink- but nothing seemed to help. I took some painkillers. I felt like laying down should help, as it does when I have menstrual cramps or gas pains, but laying down seemed to make it worse. I got up and walked around, sat in a chair, sat in a recliner, and went back to the bathroom- back to the bedroom.
It was a particular pain.
It came out of the blue- everything had been fine, then discomfort slid into pain within minutes. I started feeling sick to my stomach, I went to the bathroom again- just in time to vomit- but that didn't relieve the pain- and there went my painkillers.
After about an hour the pain slid back into discomfort. I laid down and went to sleep.
The whole episode had lasted not more than two hours. When I woke up- it was like the whole thing had never happened.
It was strange, and I had no reference to compare it to. I just thought- "well, that was weird" and went about the rest of the summer.
School started in mid-August and I went to an all-day meeting on August 24th. The meeting was terminally boring- but something I am required to know and review every year. The after-lunch portion was a hands-on practice of how to use all the stuff we'd 'learned' in the morning session. I went to lunch, came back, sat down in my chair- and started feeling uncomfortable. I thought it was because of sitting all morning.
My back was starting to cramp- and then my abdomen started to hurt too. Over the course of an hour, it went from uncomfortable to painful. Then, right on cue, I started feeling sick to my stomach. I told my principal, who was having a hard time following the meeting as well, that I wasn't feeling well and couldn't concentrate. She asked me if I wanted to leave. I said, no, I needed to pick up my kids at 3:30 anyway-so I may as well stay for the remainder of the meeting. Then the nausea hit- I quickly excused myself and barely made it to the restroom to vomit. When I came back to the meeting, I told her I had changed my mind and I needed to leave.
By the time I had picked up my kids and made it home an hour later, I was feeling normal again. I noticed that I started my cycle on that day.
On September 25 I was teaching my last class of the day. I had been on my cycle for an unusually long 10 days already with heavy cramping and lots of discomfort. The pain started ramping up, and I could feel it not only in the lower back and lower center of my abdomen, but to the right side and shooting pain down my right leg- and this time I knew there was going to be a problem. I looked around in the hall to see if there was anyone who could step into my classroom. Several students asked if I was okay.
I was not.
I took a trash can to a storage closet in my room. In between talking about Shakespeare and Aristotle's definition of tragedy- I lost my lunch.
And that was the day I called the doctor.
I told her everything- and she said, "Maybe it's your gallbladder." I said, "My husband just had his gallbladder removed a few weeks ago, he described his pain very differently." She said, "It could be your appendix, your intestines- what did you eat before your pain?"
Skeptical me said, "One day nothing, one day pizza, and one day a peanut butter sandwich."
She said, "Maybe it's the starchy foods getting to you."
I just looked at her.
She said, "I'll call in for a pelvic and abdominal ultrasound."
At the ultrasound, the tech was really chatty before she started. I was knitting in the waiting room, and she said she was learning to knit too and she showed me her scarf. She asked me if my bladder was full, and since I thought I was about to pee my pants I told her it was very full.
She got started and said, "Ah- it is full, but not full enough for me!" Then she proceeded to press on all my parts all around the bladder- so she could save pressing on my bladder last.
Ugh. I think I peed a little bit on her table when she jabbed her instrument into my bladder in the end.
She was quiet during the exam. I didn't want to chat because I was really concentrating on not peeing- and I wanted her to focus on her work.
By the time she was finished, I knew she had found something. Instead of being chatty again- she wiped off the goop and said, "I'm done, the exit is that way" and walked out.
It must be hard to be in the medical business when you don't have much of a poker face.
