I’m on the hunt . . . . looking for a place to meet some new people, do some Bible study, service projects . . . that kind of stuff. Church #6, Sunday school # 4.

I went to the single adult Sunday school class today. I’ve gone to a few, they are generally full of people who are either pretty but gay, or they are ugly, boring, weird beyond description, extremely needy or just plain dumb. I’m not saying this to be mean, I have been to several single adult classes, and it just so happens that these are the people who congregate for single adult groups. I mean when you start talking to them, you quickly realized why in fact they are single adults. A single adult class is where I found Betty. Go figure.

Because of the single adult stigma, at this church (which I like) I started in the college and career class. The people were nice, the teachers were okay, the material sucked and the format was even worse. (In case you don’t know already, I admit and fully embrace my status of Sunday school/Bible study snob).

So, there I was sitting in the single adult room, when behold, a beautiful man walked in! It was apparently his first time there as well. I had a dream last night that I met a beautiful man in the Mediterranean and we . . . ah well anyway- Mr Pretty-guy came and sat near me, everyone asked us all our business, I learned: Insurance guy, new in town, at least 28 years old (that’s how the class was divided.) I knew I liked him as soon as he laughed at my little joke. (SS teacher: What would you do if you had a dream about a man from Macedonia calling you to come help him? Me: I’d say, “where the heck is Macedonia?”)

We walked out together after class, and I confessed I didn’t really know how to get out of the church, but he didn’t either, so we wandered around until we found an exit sign. He asked if I would be there next week, and I said (in my head, “Oh yes, Mr Pretty-guy, you are worth coming back to look at.) out loud, “Yes, see you next week.”

As it turned out the rest of the class wasn’t too bad either. There were a few of the usual suspects: the very short round lady with no ankles to speak of and the tiniest feet I’d ever seen on an adult, one guy who kinda set off the gaydar, one foreign guy who didn’t know what hopscotch or pumpernickel were (don’t ask how I know that) and “the weird guy” You know that guy who usually gravitates toward me because of the universal pull I have which draws all weirdoes unto me wherever I go. His name was Billy-Bob of course.

The lesson- not too bad. Only one point to argue, which wasn’t the teacher’s statement, but the international student minister’s comment. (I think that is one of two jobs I’ve ever heard of which I felt qualified for in regard to my training and education.) We were talking about the calling of God in our lives. They started talking about the burning bush, and why doesn’t God make it so obvious to us now as he did to Moses then? Like, why don’t we get talking burning bushes? The guy said “Well, Moses had been praying and seeking God’s will with an open and pure heart, so God revealed himself in such an obvious way because he knew Moses trusted him.”

What the heck? Where did that come from? I mean, it’s possible, but what would lead a person to think of it? My Bible says Moses killed a guy in Egypt, fled into the desert, married a flock herder’s daughter and was out in the wilderness with his sheep when he saw this bush that was on fire but wasn’t burning up, so he said to himself “I will go over and see this strange sight.” (Exodus 3:3)

What I get from that is that Moses was a hothead who killed a guy because he was mad, ran away like a coward and hid in the desert until he was so bored with life that even a bush on fire was interesting to him.

I get that Moses noticed something out of the ordinary and went to check it out. I get that Moses had probably learned a thing or two about sheep and about himself in those 40 years he’d been gone and that he was ready to hear from God at that point.

Maybe God had tried to get his attention before the bush, but Moses was so caught up in himself and what he had done and what he was doing that he hadn’t noticed. That is conjecture, but at least my conjecture starts with a maybe!

I know the Bible can be made to say just about anything, and if it doesn’t say it, you can pretend its in there and 8 out of 10 people will go along with you.

“And the wise men were on their way to kill baby Jesus when-“
“WAIT A MINUTE! That’s not in there!”
“Oh, it’s not? I haven’t read the story in a long time.”

Read the story! And remember your “maybes” in conjecture! Someone might really think you know what you are talking about when you make statements out of things you’ve pulled out of your butt!