Only two animals live in The Great Salt Lake. Salt flies and brine shrimp (aka sea monkeys) are the only two creatures you will find in the water, but there are many birds and other creatures around the area. I wanted to get in the water- so I researched the best place to get in. The clear answer was Bridger Bay Beach on Antelope Island State Park. According to my research, the salt flies could get pretty bothersome, but the place to go to avoid them was Bridger Bay Beach- and the beach has restrooms with showers for when you are finished with the salty water.
It was a perfect plan. I had elected to skip other interesting things in favor of this plan. I had also considered going into Salt Lake City for a look around- or going up to the north arm of the lake to see the salt formations and the potentially pink water- but no- this was the plan- take a little float in the Great Salt Lake, play on the beach for a while and be on our way.
There were signs.
I did not understand the signs.
On the way into the park:
One sign said, “No water at park facilities.”
One sign said, “No refunds for weather or insects.”
I even scoffed at the second one- “Duh- like I should get my money back because there is weather and insects in nature! Ha!”
We drove up to the beach. The water was far- far away from the parking lot and the facilities.
No problem.
“I’m going to change in the restroom,” on the way to the restroom I pointed out a lizard to the person behind me, whom I thought was my daughter, but was in fact a stranger who rather uncomfortably said, “Um- yeah there is a lizard.” Then scooted past me like I was going to throw the lizard at her. Other than the lizard woman who was not my daughter the place is completely deserted. There is not a soul in sight on the beach, in the parking lot- nobody nowhere (that should have been another sign)
The restroom was locked. “No water at park facilities.”
It was fine, fine- I saw the sign- fine- we changed in the trailer. When D took off his sock he pulled a scab off and it started bleeding. He put a blob of vaseline on it so the salt water wouldn’t sting it. (This becomes important later) Everyone was excited, and they started walking to the water. I gathered up bottles of water for everyone and towels for me and the youngest girl, and she and I followed the others.
Do you remember when you used to play 'The Floor Is Lava'? The sand was lava-but for real this time- sandy, blistering hot on our feet and getting into our shoes with every step lava- and even though I had seen that the water was pretty far out there- I at that point realized that it was farther than really far- it was really really- ridiculously far. So we’re walking, our feet are blistering, the sun is lava, the sand is lava I’m dragging the 7 year old who is having a breakdown about the lava sand in her shoes- and I’m watching the husband and the other two children draw closer to the water. The middle girl was the most excited and the most adventurous so she got there first.
Curiously, she didn’t get in the water. She paced back and forth along the shore for a while. Then the hubby and the oldest girl get here. I still have a football field of lava sand to go- I saw them start flailing and swatting -and they all started running away from the water. So I stopped and said to the little girl, “Something is terribly wrong.” I pulled a bottle of water out of my bag. The oldest one runs toward me at full speed yelling “They are everywhere! There are millions of them! I hate it!” I hand her a bottle of water as she runs past me. The second one runs up to me and yells “Don’t touch the water! Are they following me?!” I handed her a bottle of water as she ran by. My husband runs up to me and says, “It’s terrible!” I hand him a bottle of water. He says, “There are millions of flies on the water. You can’t even see the water because it is black with flies!” I said to the little one, “I don’t think we are going swimming here.” and I hand her a water- she starts trugging back to the parking lot through the lava sand.
I said, “I came here to get in the Great Salt Lake, and I’m going to touch it!” My husband says, “Good luck.” I take my water bottle, my towel and my phone and walk up to the shore. As I got closer the cloud of tiny gnat size flies got denser. As I got up to the water I saw what all the commotion was about. The number of flies on the water was like a biblical plague. The water was black from the place it touches the sand to about a foot out, then you could see through the blackness, but just in spots. There were tiny salt flies everywhere and they started sticking to my sweaty arms and legs as I stood there deliberating what should happen next. I mean- I was there I came to touch the Great Salt Lake, but the Great Salt Lake was DISGUSTING! There were also biting horseflies, so I had to make a choice- and quickly- so I went up to the water and I stepped my right foot into the blackness of flies and the water felt warm and fetid as my foot sank into the black plauge and I wanted to gag when I pulled my foot out and it was completely covered in tiny black flies. I poured half of my water bottle on my foot to get the flies off and I started the wild flailing and swatting dance just like the others because I felt like I was in a low-budget, poorly written horror movie. I started walking back and I saw my hubby had stayed in the same spot, a football field away from the infestation. I thought to myself I should document this horrid situation. So I pulled out my phone to take a picture of the plagued lake and then of how far away I still was from the parking lot. The biting flies were biting and the tiny flies are still getting stuck to my sweaty arms and legs and neck and face again, so I hurried back to my husband. We started walking back to the parking lot. Back through the deep sand, through the weeds, through the packed sand, through more deep lava sand- when we got closer, we saw and heard the little one had not made it back to the parking lot. She had wandered off course and was just standing in the lava sand screaming.
The other two are standing in the shade of the trailer on the pavement looking at their little sister screaming and melting and D and I were too far away to be of any help. We start yelling “Keep going!” She yelled back, “I can’t! It’s too hot!” It was true, it was too hot- we were all fabout to burst into flames. We all kept yelling at each other and finally she made it to the parking lot- still crying and screaming. D remotely started the truck, and we all got in to try to cool down for a minute. I looked at my children- everyone looked like a walking heat stroke. I considered going back to the trailer to change clothes, but I also had an overwhelming urge to escape the island. (Which, by the way isn’t even an island anymore. The water has receded so much that it’s a peninsula now- and that is why the beach is so far away too!)
That weather and insects sign mades so much sense at that time.
D looked at the Vasiline on his leg and there are about 100 tiny flies stuck to it. That sort of sums up the experience. 100 flies in a ¼ inch circle of Vaseline.
We stopped at a Walmart on the way out of Salt Lake City and I bought an ironic Tshirt that says, “Refresh your Soul at the Lake. Great Salt Lake, UT”
Later that evening I said, “I took some pictures,” but when I looked for them there aren’t any. I guess I was so disturbed in the moment that I thought I took some pictures, but I didn’t. He said, “I took a video.” So he showed it to me and it is just me walking up to the water then walking back. Then I say, what were you saying in that video? And he was like “Oh, I don’t know I guess I was just talking to myself.” So we turned up the volume and it is the most hilarious thing- he whispering things like, “There she goes, she's going to do something none of us were willing to do, she’s going to touch the water- She did it! That’s why I married her.” Then the camera starts jerking around wildly and he mutters, “stupid flies!” and it goes black.
Someone asked my oldest daughter how The Great Salt Lake was and she said, “We don’t talk about The Great Salt Lake!” She did,
however, show me the blisters on her toes from the hot sand.
I told my aunt we went to The Great Salt Lake, but it was not great. She asked if it wasn’t great or if it was terrible. I let her know it was terrible, horrible, no good, very bad.
Core memories baby!
-10/10 do not recommend
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