may be my spirit animal

My study in hippos is not improving my ability to produce a hippo.  This one looks like a pig. The other one looks like a tired dinosaur.  

 Some facts about hippos:                                 

 1.  Scientists used to think that hippos were related to pigs.  Now they think that hippos are related to whales.     

      

 2.  Hippos are the heaviest land animals, or perhaps the third largest.  Depends on who you ask.   

 3. Hippos are quite dangerous and over 500 deaths a year are attributed to them. Sharks kill about 10 people per year, and champagne corks kill about 25 people per year.  Hippos with champagne corks kill about 525 people per year.      

                                             

4. Hippos can't swim, or breathe underwater.  The latter makes sense since they are mammals, but they can hold their breath for five minutes.  Which, to be honest, doesn't seem like enough time for an aquatic animal. 

5. Hippos nap underwater, but every five minutes they have to go to the surface to breathe- but they do it while sleeping.  They have some automatic reflex that allows them to float to the top and sink to the bottom while sleeping.  That sounds untrue- but I'm assuming the internet wouldn't lie to me about hippos.

6. Hipps are mainly herbivores but sometimes they eat people, and, lions, and gazels ... because they CAN.  

7. (the perfect number- to stop this nonsense-) A group of hippos is called a pod, a siege, a thunder, a sea, a herd, or according to the BBC a bloat. We should all believe the BBC- right? 

 I need to know more about hippos.    I now know more about hippos.  I'm going to give my Hippo representation a few more tries.  I know I can do better than this.