work rant-let

I'm not good at this job, 

and I don't especially like it.  

I don't know how to have a better attitude,

or how to feel less frustrated

or be less frustrating.

I have no recollection of any of this

I was wandering around my blog, and I came upon this-  Did I write that?  Did I copy it? Did someone give it to me?  I have no recall of where it came from or why it caused such a stir.  

Theory- it is a satiric commentary of literary analysis.

Sometimes I feel like I have forgotten whole lives- even when I did write them down. 

The Chicken and the Void

The chicken stared into the void.
The void stared back.

The void said, “Chicken,
what do you see?”

The chicken said-
“nothing.”
“you’re a void.”

The void said, “Chicken,
you have much to learn.”

The chicken said,
“no, I don’t.”
“I’m a chicken.”

The chicken threw a single feather into the void.

Chicken = 1.
Void = 0.


What do the “chicken” and the “void” symbolize?
What do you think the author meant by the chicken’s gesture of throwing in the “single feather?”
What does “Chicken = 1” and “Void = 0” mean?
Why does the chicken tell the void he doesn’t have much to learn?
Why would the void ask the chicken what he saw in a void?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

The chicken is you. The void is nothingness. It could be a mirror. It could be what you see when you sit on a point overlooking a city and see all the blackness with a few points of light. It could be the vastness of space when you look at it. The void is whatever you are looking at when you are introspective. The void could cause you to be introspective. The void conversing with the chicken is the representation of your conscience talking to you when you are being introspective. You ask yourself, "What do you see?" Your conscience is probing you. You respond to your conscience, "Nothing." The second half of that response is what sets the stage. "You are a void." This shows the true reason for the introspection and the probing conscience. "You are a Void." "You are nothing." This is the cry of utter helplessness. Feeling completely worthless. You are looking back over your life and you come to the conclusion that you are nothing and worthless. Your conscience tells you that you have much to learn. Your conscience knows that life has meaning and is not futile. Your response is one of resignation and hopelessness. "No, I know I am truly worthless." Not only are you resigned to that, you are sure of it and you do not think you can be swayed. The throwing of the feather just emphasized the point. You through away part of yourself to emphasize that point. You are trying to make a point to your conscience. "Conscience, I am worthless. And to prove it I will throw away part of who I am" It could be anything that you throw away... your morals, your money, your mind, your beliefs, your heart, your body, anything that is part of you. You throw it away making the point with your conscience, thus tallying the points up in your mind. You were right once and your conscience wasn't. Who will be right the next time? You know you will have to accept what your conscience is telling you unless you can always stay one point ahead. What will be next? How many points will you have to make to win? Will you destroy yourself to win? Will you not be persuaded by your conscience before you destroy yourself? Does your self loathing run that deep? Does your feeling of worthlessness run just as deep? Will you be receptive of the points your conscience makes? Will you continue to inspect yourself or will you reject personal inspection? Are you sabotaging the battle so you never have a chance for hope? Are you fixing the fight so you always win and are always right? Alow yourself a glimmer of Hope. It won't kill you and might actually do you some good. Do not give up on yourself. People believe in you. People care for you. People love you. You are special and NOT worthless. You have value and worth. Be Courageous and Be Strong. Enjoy Life!

5:04 AM 

Anonymous said...

Diddo! deepthought's analysis is a much better, "deeper" than my thought.

I think when the chicken says, "No i dont, I am a chicken", the chicken has already come to grips with his reality. He understands that he is a chicken, and in being a chicken he doesn't have much more to learn. Now, if he were a smarter animal, that might be different. Right?

Do chickens have a conscience? Am I a chicken? A few other thoughts that i had.

And what do the numbers mean? I am not a math person, so I haven't the foggiest idea.

9:12 AM 

Anonymous said...

I thought it was about seeing a hopeless future as you contemplate your next job / move in life. I think chickens stare into voids all the time, and they don't know what the heck they are seeing... they just get bored and go back to pecking for bugs if they don't see any wing-shaped shadows swooping overhead (where are the hawk-shaped shadows?) How can a void talk - that must have all been in the chicken's head.

My niece's favorite joke used to be Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the popcorn!!
She would tell it and just laugh and laugh and laugh. In that case, I'd have to say I identify with the chicken much more than with the road. In the case of the chicken and the void, it's hard to identify with either... the void scares me too much to think about it. As for the "score" I think the one was just chicken scratch.

9:34 AM 

Anonymous said...

For me, the numbers at the end add a whole new perspective to the picture. I see it as a score; That the chicken scored a point and skunked the void. Therefore, the void is nothingness indeed, but a specific kind of nothingness.It is not something positive, like wide open possibilities, that can be filled with anything. No, it is an emptiness without possibilities- something that is to be defeated. It could be despair, helplessness, all things of no promise such as the things described in Ecclesiastes, or even (Dana Carvey's "Church Lady" immitation) Satan.

I see the chicken as scoring a point on the void by not falling into the trap of believing he/she needed the empty promise that the void was trying to convince him he/she needed.

And I picture the chicken as having defeated the void by throwing a feather in, because a void with something in it is no longer a void. So, I see the story ending with the chicken destroying the void, and imagine the void vanishing as the chicken threw the feather in.

Therefore the score: Chicken 1, Void 0.

12:51 PM 

Shannon
I think the chicken symbolizes modern man in his attempt to fill his empty "void" life;
and the feather is the chicken's knowledge that he really doesn't know anything- knowing is really realizing you don't know.

I think if every chicken suddenly disappeared from earth, that would be confusing, but that's beside the point.

Sergio
I think the void symbolizes modern man and the chicken symbolizes all those that came before him and so we each have our chickens to face; many of those chickens are direct relatives
some are related by marriage. Others are food which makes things confusing,
but no more confusing than a egotistical void.

An egotistical void reads the New Yorker outdoors at coffee shops.
I guess such a void would be full of itself.

Shannon
If a void was full of it's self, would it still be void?
Sergio
It would be a void within a void.
Shannon
No, we are the chickens.

Anonymous said...

I'm not a chicken or a void. (well i might be a void, since that is a synonym of my name, but that is besides the point.)

but, if i had to choose, i would choose that we are the chicken.....the other interpretation doesn't even make sense.

But, chicken is food....and i hate to think of myself as food.

9:19 AM 

NV: I actually thought the feather was a challenge to the void; something to the effect of: if I throw this feather at you, you won't be void anymore and, aren't chickens smarter than voids b/c voids are nothing.

PK: I don't think chickens are smarter than voids, but I do think if the chicken indeed threw the feather; it was to show the void that it could be destroyed, as you mentioned. It wasn’t a void anymore... chickens are the voids of the animal world, so I think it's a pretty close race. If you threw a feather at a chicken, it would run.

Anonymous said...

NV and PK do have a point. But I am still sticking to my point that I am not a chicken! I don't run around in circles after i get my head chopped off.....wait a minute, that has never happened to me. Ok. I won't run around in circles if I get my head chopped off. :D

10:36 AM 

Anonymous said...

but you WILL flop around on the chopping block because of nerves... and I KNOW you... you've got a lot of nerve ;)

parenting pro-tip

 Give your kids notepads and sticky notes because they might give them back to you. 

She read it to me.  "It says, I heart, heart, heart, heart Mama." (Tamzin)

self awareness of awkward

 I realized last week that I am that *awkward* coworker who they dread to see coming.

Meh- says my Gen X self.  These millennials and Zs don't know me.

I went in to say hi to a coworker.  I only intended to stay for a minute, but I realize (now) that she is way too kind and accommodating to shoo people out of her room- and that encouraged me to 'visit.'  So, there we were shooting the shit (as my dear departed mother would say) when this other teacher came running in shoving her phone into co-worker 1's face and saying, "Look at this!"  

This second teacher is even more awkward than I am, and I watched as coworker #1 patiently went through the motions of turning her attention to where it was being demanded, and acting like she had any amount of interest in the subject on the phone being shoved into her face.

I watched the interaction for a few minutes, then I got it.  This poor woman is just sitting in her room trying to finish her work, and people are just popping in to talk nonsense and waste her time. After that, I excused myself and left co-worker 1 to the flapdoodle of coworker 2 and her phone.

Today I went to a (different) coworker's room to pick up some books.  She was chatting with someone from off campus and when she saw me she said, "Oh, hi Shannon" kinda loud like it was a signal to the person with her back to me to change the subject.  

AWKWARD

Why I'm awkward at work (in no special order)

1. I'm willing to waste time

2. I'm okay with not being the best teacher ever

3. I am the squeaky wheel

4. I'm old (aka I don't care)

5. I don't know much about public schools stuff (and I don't want to know much- I actively avoid knowing more stuff)

6. I've always been a bit awkward

7. I don't love this job, I'm in for the money- and the kids- always the kids right?

why I never buy red shoes

 I am drawn to red shoes and boots.  I don't know why, but I always gravitate to them when I'm considering new footwear.  I have on a very few occasions bought red shoes, but then I felt self-conscious every time I wore them.  

My problem is I have big feet. Big, long fat feet.  And I hate tight shoes, so I will look for wide width shoes or buy them a size too big.  I want my toes to have room to wiggle- and I decided earlier than most women that comfort is way more important to me than style.

Whenever I wear red shoes I feel like other people are looking at my shoes like, "Look at those giant clown shoes!"  Red is just begging for attention. The last thing I need is for people to take more notice of my feet.

So- no red shoes.  FYI about me.

PS maybe it's a wonder woman thing.

the cold

Sometimes I wonder if I would like to live in a place that has more dramatic seasons.  But then when it's been cold here for like 8 mornings in a row, (It gets up to the 50s in the daytime.) I'm all like, "It's been COLD for so long! I can't take it anymore! Will it ever be warm again?"

#Forgot what it's like to be a Yankee

the anti-bucket list

Young people would never think to write such a list. A list of things you never want to do before you die. 

Like this:

Ride in an ambulance 

Have a major surgery 

Have a long stay in the hospital 

Have home health care

Experience the death of a spouse 

Divorce 

Experience the death of a child 

Be in a major car crash

Break a bone

Need crutches/walker

Need a wheelchair 

Have a 3rd degree burn

Have cancer

Get fired

Require physical therapy 

Need to overcome an addiction 

Really the list is terrible and long. 

Unfortunately, the older I get the more things I check off my anti-bucket list.

table vs foot

 In this game of table/foot-  table won.

While I was arranging my classroom and getting ready for school to start a small table/student desk fell on my foot.  At the moment of the showdown, I was on the phone with my daughter's teacher.  I tried to pretend it wasn't happening and got off the phone as soon as I could.

When I looked at my foot I was shocked to see how swollen it was.  It looked like there was a golf ball under my skin.  I talked to the school nurse- who said, "Looks bad- you better go get an X-ray."  I didn't think it was broken, it hurt but more like a 4 out of 10.  I could move my toes and walk- so I hobbled out the door.  My DH came to pick me up and took me to an urgent care.  

They X-rayed my foot and said it wasn't broken, just bruised.  It would look worse, but should be back to normal within two weeks.

Cool-cool-cool.

So-toward the end of the two weeks- it was actually swelling and hurting more than it previously had. I went back to the clinic for a follow-up.  I was seen by a different doctor who took another X-ray.  My foot was still not broken.  But the doctor said it looked pretty bad, and it might be infected.  (I'm not sure how- she said it was something about deep tissue damage . . . ) she gave me a post-op shoe, antibiotics, and recommended physical therapy.  

Ugh.  Here's the thing- as a teacher I only get 10 days off for the whole year.  If I miss even part of a day I have to take a half day off.  I have no intention of taking six half days in August.  

The problem is it is a workman's comp thing so if I don't do all the things and it gets worse they are going to say "Well, you didn't do all the things. It's your fault if it's not healing right."

I have another follow-up appointment on Monday to see if we can get it all worked out.  I also need to talk to the admin at school to get some time off without taking my personal days.

an appointment for a dental evaluation

 

So- we had to change dentists because of insurance changes.  My girls all need some work- and hubby and I are terrible about dental appointments.  Of all the things that cause me anxiety on the level that I would like to have medication- it is dental work.

I knew I needed some work done, but since this was a first-time appointment, I thought they would just do the checkup, take some ex-rays, and tell me how much everything would cost.  I would then make the next appointment and go about my business.  HOWEVER- that was not the case.  They did the evaluation, took the ex-rays, told me what I needed and how much it would cost then said, "So we'll do the deep cleaning and the crown right now."

And I was (like a dummy) all, "Yeah, okay."

Five and a half hours later all the surfaces in my mouth hurt as I was leaving the office. 

What- the- WHAT!

First of all, they make their own crowns in-house in two hours- which means there is an inordinate amount of scanning that occurs.  Second, they were extra busy, and the dentist kept losing track of her dental assistant.  When she found him she got to work grinding and drilling out an old crown at the very back of my mouth.  

Then when the dental hygienist wasn't available the dentist decided to go ahead and do my deep cleaning herself.  

She turned that water pick up to FULL BLAST and intensively and aggressively gave her full attention to all my plaque. It felt like she was shoving razor blades between my teeth and gums.  I kept trying to repeat Psalm 23 to myself to calm down- but I couldn't even do that because I would get lost and start over every time I started wondering why this woman hated my gums so much."You set a table before me in the presence of my enemies."  Finally, the hygienist walked in and the dentist said, "Oh there you are- I finished the bottom- but I'm not sure I got everything- so go over it again and then continue to the top." NOT SURE SHE GOT EVERYTHING?!  MY GUMS ARE HANGING IN TATTERS!

The hygienist was calm and as mild as milk.  She introduced herself and said, "Ok, let's see how it looks." She picked up the water pick again, I closed my eyes and thought, "The Lord is my shepherd . . . " Then she proceeded to prod around and although I know she turned on the pick because I could hear it, in my mouth it felt like a gentle rain - a warm summer shower,  pleasant and refreshing- "He maketh me to lie down in green pastures; He leadeth me beside the still waters," and I feared no evil.

Then she said, "Ok, so I'm going to put some numbing gel on your upper gums before I start those ones, is that okay with you?" Have mercy, I was actually looking forward to a deep cleaning from this dental angel.  THEN THE DENTIST CAME BACK IN and said, "I'll finish."

"Lo- though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death . . ."

Then the dentist said, "I'm going to finish with the laser."

Verily- the laser was much less vengeful than the water pick. 

Then after all that- it was time to put on the crown.  

I think we were all tired by that time, so even though the crown was sitting a bit high after four adjustments I said, "It's fine-yeah it's okay now."

And I have two more appointments next week.  

I wonder #3

 I wonder if people with upper dentures still burn their upper pallets on hot food and drinks, or if the dentures double as a heat shield.  

Lailah Logic: cowboys

 Lailah: "Mama!"

Me: "What?"

Lailah: "If a guy has cowboy boots, and a  cowboy hat, and a horse, he's not a cowboy . . . unless he has a cow."

Me: "Umm . . . well . .  . I suppose that's true- sort of  . . ."

I wonder #2

 I wonder what dehydrated watermelon tastes like.  

Just kidding- I already know.  I legit wondered that last week, so I dehydrated some ... and it is amazing.

 Will do again.

I wonder #1

 I wonder who looked at a sugar cane plant and thought, "I'm gonna eat that and change the world 🌍.