the dentist says I need some work ....

 

there are a number of crowns in my near future!

Be humble

Stevia

Taking the ill advice of some medical professional I"m sure- I bought a supply of single servings of Stevia.  Now- my tea and I are suffering.

I 'nowman

She picked this dress out today and whispered, "I 'nowman!" She has a hard time with "s".  Sometimes she comes to me and says, "I 'cared!" Her eyes are wide, her hands-fingers spread up near her face. Sometimes she can even set herself a tremble to make the scene more convincing.  Her favorite song is "Baby 'hark."   She is my extra precious ❤️.

joy in the morning

Good shepherd

English History Mystery

My ignorance of English history is paying off. 
I'm reading The Other Boleyn Girl. I'm 100 pages from the end and I still don't know what's going to happen! 
I know all the queens have to go- the story is about one who is not queen (the other sister) but I don't know if she gets killed too, what's going to happen to her children (who are also Henry's) how many more queens there will be, what Oliver Cromwell is up to, why Thomas More is in the tower- when the Church of English is established in this timeline- what's gonna happen to the pope?!  What do the Lutherans have to do with it?  When will the Bible be officially translated into English and available to read in this storyline? Are they all speaking French? What made Henry so crazy? For all the documentaries and biographies I watch and read- I would have thought I would have this all worked out by now. 

Alas, no- it is all a surprise to me in this book.  How fantastic is that? Love my ignorance in isolation :)
As soon as I finish the book I'm going to do some sketchy wiki research and watch the movie- there might even be a series to entertain me. 

Isn't he wonderful?

Leave behind your regrets and mistakes
Come today, there's no reason to wait
Jesus is calling
Bring your sorrows and trade them for joy
From the ashes, a new life is born
Jesus is calling

O come to the altar
The Father's arms are open wide
Forgiveness was bought with
The precious blood of Jesus Christ
Forgiveness was bought with
The precious blood!...

from- Oh come to the altar: Elevation Music

Sometimes we think we are okay- but really there is something off.  Right now there are A LOT of things off. There is so much fear and anxiety- and so, so much stupidity which leads to way too much sarcasm  ...

I'm not really worried for my family unit.  We're fine.  Daniel and I are both listed as "essential workers."

I mean, I'm not sure how "essential" my work is, but I got the notice today that I am in fact "essential," so I can go to campus if I need to use technology or pick up materials.  The point is, we aren't losing any income as a result of the shelter in place order.  The girls' school has provided online classes for them to finish our their school year.  I'm working from home exclusively, D is working from home part-time- and going into the office part-time. 

We're not sick.  We have some TP- (although I noticed we are getting a bit low so I should probably be a bit more proactive on that account.)

The internet is mostly working.  We have enough food. We can go out and walk the neighborhood- or if it stays warm- go out to the pool.  (the girls swam today, but it was too cold for me to venture in)

Everything is mostly fine.

I read an article today that said, you know that uneasy feeling you have?  and I thought "YEAH!" It said that feeling is shared grief over what we have lost.  We've all lost our old normal- at least for a while.  Even if everything is still okay with us- there is still something missing.  

It is okay.  I have plenty to keep me entertained.  I have lots of stuff to do around the house.  The problem is that it is still left undone.  I'm not doing the things I should do, I'm not even doing the things I really want to do- I'm stuck.  I'm wasting time looking at facebook and avoiding the real news.  

I'm waiting for the next thing, and I'm tired, and my tummy hurts.

If that's what's happening with me, what about all the people who are deeply affected by this mess?

I've been thinking about that verse and chorus for the past few days- 

Leave behind your regrets and mistakes ...

Bring your sorrows and trade them for joy ...

Jesus is calling.

day 5

day 4

isolation day 3

The girls and I are home for a few weeks.  We are observing social distancing- modified.  I've let the girls go visit with the neighbor kids.  Thursday we plan to go visit my aunt and cousin.  D is still going to work, and T will go to daycare twice a week as long as it is open. 

I will start teaching classes from home next week- and the girls should start getting online lessons from their school next week.  We just need to make it through the last 8 weeks of the semester, and 12 more weeks until the end of the school year.

Yesterday was kind of messy- today has been quiet.  E was up early, L not until 11:00, T is still sleeping at 1:00pm!  Poor little monkey- I think she might have an earache. 

E and L got new computers so they can do their school work to finish out the year.  I got them started on a Chrome extension typing club.  I need to take a look around online to find other educational sites they might enjoy.

 I made a list of things for the girls to do today.  E is all over it- L is not.

I was thinking of putting the tent up today for an outdoor classroom/playroom/reading room, but the news said flash floods--- so I'll wait. :)

This is not a bad time- just a different time, let us all take a deep breath and do our best.

subtitles

I had a dream that everyone was speaking in a language I couldn't understand.  It seemed like it was going to be okay though- because there were subtitles floating around just at chest height of the speaker. 

Unfortunately,  all the subtitles were in Greek.

He said, "Do you want this iced tea maker?"
The thing is- I don't even like iced tea.
The other thing is- why would anyone actually need an iced tea maker?
It's literally ice, tea, and water.
If you make sun tea- you don't even need to boil the water.
All of these things considered- I said, "Yes. I want it."

Of course, that was always going to be the answer because I have a weakness for small appliances.

(Just recently I've thought I needed a countertop ice machine- see below for reason.)

So- this weekend I made some iced tea . . . because I could.

It went like this-

I don't like iced tea, but I do like Thai tea.

I looked up how to make Thai tea on Google.

Thai tea requires:
1. Thai tea bag/leaves
2. water
3. sugar
4. condensed milk
5. ice

Hmmm- turns out I don't have Thai tea- Indian tea it is then.
If you make Thai tea with Indian tea- is it still Thai tea? - Maybe I should just call it "Iced-chai."

I was pretty skeptical about this iced tea maker- so I set it to 'strong.' It brewed an impressively black two quarts of tea from 1/4 cup of loose leaf tea.

I tasted some super bitter black tea.

I added the sugar and condensed milk- went to add the ice- but no- no ice. What I had was an empty ice tray in the freezer.

I had some hot milk tea- and it was yummy!
I let it cool and had some cold 'iced chai' and it was yummy.

I wondered if  I could make more tea from my tea leaves.  I brewed two more quarts of tea.
It still produced a nice dark tea.

I drank all the iced-chai.  I refrigerated the black tea for later.
Turns out maybe I do like iced-milked-sweetened-spiced tea.

I'll keep the iced tea maker for while.

Day 30 the second day of Christmas-work in progress

My child keeps reminding me how close it is to Christmas.  I feel unready. I've bought most of my gifts- but we plan to travel this Christmas, which means extra planning and I'm not ready!  I was yelling that at my children in the parking lot yesterday as they pestered me about putting up the Christmas decorations, making Christmas cookies and getting pictures with Santa.  "I'm NOT READY!"   The people walking past me in the parking lot were probably thinking, 'that's a mom on the edge.'

December 2nd- I need a plan
2 Monday get out the decorations, clear out the spaces for some (not all) decorations/give advent calendars
3 Tuesday- pictures with Santa@ Christkindel /TCU tree lighting?
4 Wednesday- Christmas cards/ Marzi's work recognition?
5 Thursday-  Christmas cards/
6 Friday- have all packages ready for kids trees/RSVP cookie exchange Dottie Lynn
X-mas faire /give girls trees with decorations
7 Saturday-
8 Sunday-
9 Monday-
10 Tuesday- last ice skating for yellow session
11 Wednesday-
12 Thursday- last day of IEP
13 Friday (!)-
14 Saturday-pictures with super frog?/cookie exchange?
15 Sunday-
16 Monday-
17 Tuesday-
18 Wednesday-
19 Thursday- heading out?
20 Friday-Grades due ESOL/TESL
21 Saturday-
22 Sunday-
23 Monday-
24 Tuesday-
25 Wednesday-

Things to add in:

Interlocken lights
shopping with girls for sisters (5 below)

Day 29 Thriller

I just showed my class the extended Thriller video by Michael Jackson.  They had so many questions and observations-

"Why is he so happy when his girlfriend is scared?"
"What are those things coming up out of the ground?"
"Oh no! What are they going to do?"
"Why is she running to that house?!"
"Doesn't she know they are going to eat her?!"

as well as:

"Michael Jackson was so young."
"He was so thin!"
"He looks really different."
"He was black!  I didn't know that."

The 80s- what a time to be alive.

Day 28 JP and the hair

In a dream, I was talking to JP in his lab.  There was some small talk and then he said, “So, are you ready?”
I said, “Yeah!” and I propped my leg up on the table.  I pulled my pant leg up and revealed a Very Hairy leg.  I mean, I am a hairy girl, but this leg … even I was impressed with the quantity and quality of the hair presented on my leg.  It was black and full, and glossy- like a well-fed and groomed gorilla’s leg.

JP said, “It looks great! Just go down the hall and turn left.  My lab tech is in a room on the right.  He will wax your legs.”

I said, “Okay,” then I started walking toward the lab tech/leg waxer.

In my dream at this point, the situation struck me as a little odd. 

First of all, in real life I’ve visited JP’s lab approximately never times, also I don’t have well-groomed gorilla leg hair in real life. 

In my dream, I rationalized the situation by telling myself, even though I didn’t really know why I was letting JP’s lab tech wax my legs, I’m sure it was of some benefit to JP and his research.  He was probably researching how to cure male pattern baldness, and something about my luxurious leg hair and follicles was going to lead him to a glorious insight about how to stimulate inactive scalp hair follicles and ‘cure’ baldness once and for all! 

Why would I think this?

JP was bald when I met him.  We were in our 20s.  It is unusual for a man in his 20s to be bald, but since he was already bald when I met him, I never thought it was unusual for him.  When I think about JP now- I don’t remember him by what he looked like.  I remember him by our interactions, and his attributes I noticed because of those interactions.

I think everyone would agree that JP was (and still is I’m sure) very smart. Back then he was studying biochemistry and working in a cancer research lab. I think fewer people knew that JP’s first language was not English.  Although he seemed to perceive in himself some deficiency in English, in fact, his pronunciation was American native-English-speaker and his spoken and literary vocabulary and fluency were by far better than most US-born university graduates. He came across as well read in not only science but also religion, philosophy, social theory and of course general world knowledge. (Which again is far better than can be said for most US-born university graduates.) 

JP was funny and curious, and most importantly- JP was kind, and I’m sure he still is.

I am an introvert and JP was an introvert; so, it seems odd to me that the first memories that came to me when I started thinking about JP were all at parties.

-------------------------------------

JP and I are at a party.  We are sitting on the floor in a corner from which we can see both the front door and the center of the room.  We are talking to each other about the people we know and the people we don’t know.  We are making observations about what is happening and predicting what will happen next.  He says, “What do you think will happen if I go over there and . . .”  He proposes some outlandish course of action and sets in for that action before I answer.

JP was willing to watch, discuss and take action too.

----------------------

JP and I are at a (different) party.  I’m sitting on a sofa.  He’s sitting on a stool in the center of the room.  I watch as people he knows and people he doesn’t know walk up to him and chat, as though he is some sort of interactive display at a museum.  I notice one particularly long conversation with a girl we’ve just met.  As I walk by to get a drink, I hear a bit of their conversation.

JP says, “Oh really?  That’s interesting, can you tell me more about that?”

She says, “Yes, it means . . .” and she proceeds to expound in great, and somewhat inaccurate detail about a topic which I know full well he knows more about than most people in the room, including the new girl.

When I walk past again, I catch his eye. There’s a sparkle there; he is really enjoying this conversation.

When they are finished, I go back to his ‘interactive display’ and say, “Why did you ask her to explain more about a topic you know more about than she does?”

He says, “I wanted to know what she knew.  I wanted to know her perspective.  I knew it would be different from mine.”

I say, “Did you learn something?”

“Oh yes,” he replies, “I learned so much.”

“I don’t suppose you told her you have taken several classes on that subject?” I ask.

“No,” he says, “no need for that.”

JP made it a point to have time to listen to other people, even when he knew what they were probably going to say.

-------------------------

JP and I are at Mardi Gras in New Orleans. We are standing shoulder to shoulder in the French Quarter with thousands of drunk people.  Our feet are planted on the pavement, but the crowd is undulating like a flag in the wind.  I look at him wondering to myself “What are we doing here?”  He looks at me like he knows what I’m thinking but doesn’t know the answer.

JP pretty much always up for an adventure.

---------------------------

‘Crazy Betty,’ my roommate is hysterical when I walk in the apartment.  She says, “I think a terrorist called us!” 

It’s late in 2001 and she’s already told me she thinks I might work for the CIA. I denied it of course, but isn’t that exactly what a CIA agent would do?  I calmly ask, “Oh? Why do you think that?” 

She says, “Listen to this phone message!”  She hits play.  It’s JP ranting something in Arabic, laughing manically and hanging up.

I cover my mouth the hide the smile. I cough.  “It was probably just a wrong number,” I say.

She looks skeptical.

JP was a cheeky monkey.

------------------------------

I’m standing next to JP at a party.  Someone walks up and introduces herself.  She says, “Hi my name is  …”

He says, “Hi, this is Shannon, and my name is K…”

She says, “K…” rolling the name she’s never encountered before around her tongue.

I just look at him.

The girl walks away.  I say, “Why did you tell her your name is “K…?”

He says, “Because, that’s my name.”

I say, “Then why have I been calling you JP all this time?”

He says, “That was my nickname, but I think I’ll go by my name now.”

“Did you just decide that right now?” I’m somewhat incredulous about this name revelation.

“Yeah,” he says, and walks off.

JP was unexpected on a regular basis.

----------------------------------------

In my dream, I walked into the room where the lab tech had his back to me.  He didn’t notice me, and suddenly I got the feeling that the whole situation was really weird.  Why was I getting my furry leg waxed by a lab tech?  I walked out of the room before he noticed me.

When I got back into the hall JP was walking towards me.  He said, “What’s going on?” 

I was embarrassed.  I wanted to help him, but it was all so strange. 

I said, “Oh, I wasn’t sure if this was the right room.” 

He said, “Yes, come on, I’ll introduce you!”

We went into the room and while he was introducing me to the lab tech his boss walked into the room.  His boss was praising him and telling him how happy he was about this hair research.

I thought again this must have something to do with male pattern baldness, but when I looked at the three men in the room, they all had beautifully full heads of hair. 

Then I thought, ‘I was wrong to suppose this was about selfish ambition or personal benefit,’

and I also thought, ‘has he always had that hair?’

and I also thought, ‘that’s really nice hair.’

The ‘procedure’ was accomplished as planned, and I gave my goodbyes to the tech.  On my way out I passed a lecture hall.  The boss-guy was presenting a case study. I stopped by the door and heard him talking about a terrible disease.  Hundreds of people had already died, and many more would die if they could not find a cure.  The only thing that all the victims had in common was unexplained hair loss.  He was very excited to announce that he and his staff were currently conducting research using healthy (glossy, furry-monkey-leg-hair) donated fresh hair follicles to crack the case.

And so- I learned, do not assume you know the whole story. You will rarely know the whole story- unless it is your story. 

It’s okay to ask. 

It’s also okay for the answer to be, ‘I’m not ready to share right now.’

It’s okay to get your monkey-leg-hair waxed by a lab tech in the name of research.

day 27 cinnamon

The children of an English Teacher:

L: How do you spell 'pool?'
E: P -o-o
L: O?
E: O-o
L: O-o?
E: Yes, O-o
L: Oh! O.  Hey, 'oh' and 'o' are the same, but not the same.
E: Yeah, they're synomoms.
L: They are not cinnamons!
E: I didn't say cinnamons! I said synomoms!
L: What's a synomom?
E: It's when two words sound the same, but they have different meanings.
L: Oh! That's good.

Me listening from the front seat: This is wrong on so many levels.

day 26 that's true

I haven't been feeling great lately and had not eaten a lot,  so I was a little hungry.  I was standing in line.  The woman behind me was talking, "blah-blah-blah-taco." 
My stomach said, "Yes, that's true."
My brain said, "Oh you don't!"
Stomach plaintively said, "taco."
Brain said, "NO! we have leftovers at home!"
Stomach growled, "Taco!"
Brain would not give in, "So Many Leftovers!"
Stomach was sullen.
Brain thought she had a good compromise.
The 'leftovers' turned out to be rum raisin ice cream and Totinos pizza rolls.

Stomach; however, has not forgotten.  "Yes, that's true."

DAY 25 PARENTAL APPROVAL RATING: LOW

The parental approval rating is currently LOW for the middle child who is upset because; 1. I'm not magic 2. I didn't fix the unfixable thing 3. I lost her fitted sheet (I don't know...) 4. it's an hour and a half past bedtime, and she can't find broccoli (which is her favorite stuffed toy.) The rating is only slightly higher for the oldest because I didn't let them sleep in the living room even though they "don't have school tomorrow and it's a special day since it is Lailah's birthday!" (all in one breath)  It's at about 50 percent for the baby at the moment but is predicted to plummet once I take action to put her in bed.

A bad chest cold- hey I just learned that bronchitis is a chest cold.  Yesterday  a nurse in the family said, "Sounds like you might be getting bronchitis!"  I said, "I hope not!  It's just a bad cold."  I thought bronchitis was something much worse than a cold- but I just learned from WEB MD that it is the same as a chest cold- she was right- bronchitis it is- bleh.

It's fall break for me and the girls today and tomorrow. 
D came home and said, "You kept them all day?"
I said, "Yeah." 
He said, "Why didn't you take them to daycare?" 
I said, 'I wasn't thinking straight." 
He said, "Yeah I noticed that you took them for a walk ... in the rain." 
I said, "Well, it was a warm sprinkle, but again, not thinking straight."

 “When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.”

Winnie-the-Pooh Quotes by A.A. Milne - Goodreads

day 24 girl with cat

Girl with Cat by Ammi Phillips  1814

I've been to the Amon Carter Museum several times.  Sometimes this portrait is displayed.  I love it.
The first time I saw it I saw a description that said something to the effect that in the early 1800s there were traveling artists who would paint portraits.  Of course, the artists who were very good could charge more, so they had the upper-class clientele. The ones who were not so good could still find work in the middle class.  Many times the name of the artist was unknown for these middle-class artists. 
This piece was attributed to Ammi Philips- who was a traveling artist.  I'm sure the art people to grouped this painting with Ammi Philips' other works know more about technique and style than I do, but, I didn't see any other portraits which have been attributed to him with these crazy eyes.

The first time I saw it I thought, "Whoa! Look at those crazy eyes on that girl."  I wonder if she really had those crazy eyes, or if the painter was having a really bad day and said, 'Screw it! That's as good as it gets!'" Then I looked at the cat's eyes and I felt it was more likely the second option. That cat has creepy-people eyes. 

I don't know where that girl is looking, or why one eye is bigger.  Maybe she really did look like that- bless her.  It's just that usually artists would romanticize portraits.  They would fix flaws, but this artist's 'leitmotif' (I just learned that word, it means "a recurrent theme throughout a musical or literary composition, associated with a particular person, idea, or situation.") was that he would create “correct likenesses.” 

If this is a 'correct likeness' I guess I'm more worried about the cat than the girl.


1815c MaryAnn Gale

Also attributed to Phillips.   Same chair, similar curtain, strong jaw, but much less crazy-in-the-eyes, although I suppose the right one does look bigger than the left. Looks like her cat ran away.


1820c Nancy Caldwell Church Robinson

Look at her with the book, the chair and the curtain, no cat and really normal-looking eyes!  I totally believe she looked like this.