Dear Eowyn, ignore everything people say about your feet, they are beautiful!

Looking to the future.

"I'm not sure about this!"

Sleepy sweet

We went into the hospital on Sunday night. It was daylights savings time, so of course we were an hour late. It didn't matter though because the doctor had forgotten to tell the hospital we were coming in to be induced.

What does it mean to be induced? For me it meant starting with a drug that started the dilation process. If all went according to schedule, I would have taken that drug for 12 hours, then I would have taken the next drug, which started contractions, for another 6-8 hours, labored for a few hours, and would have had a scheduled baby by Monday afternoon. Of course, that's not what happened. 
I took the dilation drug for 8 hours, when the nurse came in at 6:00AM to give me the last dose, she said, “Oh, look, you are in labor! I guess you’ve been uncomfortable tonight. You don’t need this last dose. Do you want an epidural now?” 
Me: “Uh, yeah!”
The nurse started the second drug at 6:30AM. The day nurse came in at 7:00AM. She said, “Looks like you were dilated to a 4 (out of 10) when we started this drug, and you’re at a 7 now. I’m just going to turn this off for a while. (The doctor wasn’t due in until 8:00.) 
Between 8:00 and 9:00 there was a commotion of doctors and nurses coming in and out, all acting like everything was totally cool. Every three to five minutes they would ask me to shift positions, check the baby’s heart monitor, check the contractions and ask me to shift again. 
At 9:00 one of the nurses called another doctor and said, “Um yeah- every time she has a contraction the fetal heartbeat goes down below 80. Yeah- ok.”
My doctor said, “Your baby is healthy right now, and we want to make sure she stays that way. Her cord is smaller than normal, and it is compressed every time you have a contraction, and they are coming faster now. We want to make sure she is healthy when she’s born, so do you want to go ahead and have a c-section?”
It sounded like a question that wasn’t a question at all. “Do you want a healthy baby or do you want to see what happens?” I decided on the healthy baby. D says he thinks we could have waited, and maybe another doctor would have waited, but in the end a healthy baby was my only goal.
Within two minutes there were 8 nurses swarming over me. Telling me what was going to happen, shoving a surgical gown and mask at Daniel, prepping me and wheeling me away. 
At 9:11 the doctor said, “Look at the peanut head!” I immediately though of “Mr. Peanut.” Peanut head? ! What does that mean? Is she misshapen? Does she have a monocle? She didn’t cry, but they had warned me she wouldn’t at first, she had had a bowl movement in the womb, it was in the fluid surrounding her, if she breathed in the fluid she could get sick, so they cut her cord long and had the nicu folks clean out her lungs before they got her to cry. 
They cleaned her up and gave her to Daniel to bring to me. Of course she was beautiful, and making a face as if to say, “This was not my plan for today!” I don’t think it is anyone’s plan to be pulled out of a comfy place by her face. 
I noticed her head full of brown hair, and the fact that unlike many newborns, she wasn’t red or blotchy, she wasn’t wrinkly and didn’t have floppy ears or a cone (or peanut) head. She looked like one of those “newborn” TV babies, which are really closer to 2 or 3 months old. She looked perfect. I did read that c-section babies tend to look better since they don’t go through the trauma of the birth canal, but I had to admit to myself that I had done an excellent job on that baby.
The first night in the hospital she snorted and snored and made all kinds of unusual sounds. She stayed in the room with us. I had to stay 4 days because of the c-section. Although I didn’t want to stay that long, I knew I had to. I could hardly get out of bed, standing was torture and getting back in the bed was nearly as difficult. 
The swelling was outrageous, at one point my legs were so swollen that I got a bruise from the pressure cuffs they had on me to reduce swelling. The doctor said it would get worse before it got better. By the time I got home my legs were so swollen I could hardly bend them at the knee. 
When we left the hospital, I still looked enormously p regnant. I kept looking at my belly and thinking, “Did they leave somebody in there?”
Things are better now, I can sit and stand relatively easily. I’m still walking slowly, but I’m off the pain medication. I’ve lost half of my pregnancy weight, and hope the other half comes off as easily.
All my energy now goes to figuring out the eating schedule. 
A conversation with the nurse before we left the hospital. “She should eat every two hours. She should have on wet diaper for each day she is old and two or more dirty diapers each day.” 
Me: “But what if she doesn’t?”
Nurse: “It is recommended that she does.”
Me: “But what if she doesn’t?”
Nurse: “It is recommended that she does.”
Me: “But what should I do if she doesn’t?”
Nurse: “Here’s a chart to keep track of her feeding times, her wets and dirties.”
Me: “Thanks.”
She did not and still does not eat every two hours, she did not have the “right” amount of wets and dirties and by the fourth day at home I was ready to have a melt down. I couldn’t get her stay awake to eat, and when she did it was so painful to me I flinched every time she touched me.
Oh- breast feeding, there is a reason two generations of mothers turned to formula.
We are now on a breast feeding, plus pumping, plus formula supplements routine. It is much less painful, but still very time consuming. We will figure it out eventually.

Bare foot and pregnant

I never wondered before about the phrase "bare foot and pregnant." I suppose I thought it had to do with being a house wife and not needing shoes on account of nowhere to go. Now I know the truth. I have places to go, but most of the time my shoes don't go with me. For the past 2 months I have increasingly eshewed my "real" shoes in favor of house shoes. For the past few weeks it has ben an exclusive relationship; shopping, work, special events- all have been attended by my house shoes.

I would like to make a resolution to be a better blogger, but that probably won't happen.  I've been spending a lot of time cleaning, organizing, unpacking, repacking, washing, reading, knitting, watching TV, (a little bit of working) and a lot of sleeping.

Vacation is so good.

I just finished my "Baby Shawl"  which is a triangular baby blanket.  I'm almost finished with the little green baby sweater, and then I'll move on to finish all the baby toys I started and didn't finish some time ago.  I will make a commitment to no new yarn- not when I have so very much stuffed everywhere imaginable. Also no new fabric- I think I'm a hoarder.  It's awful.

No new books- except the crafty books that I really need!   :)  I'm trying to read through my books and send them on their ways.  I've come the realization that I like empty space.  I mean I love stuff, but I also really like not cluttered.

It's not easy by myself, harder with D and I feel nearly impossible with a baby, but I will make my small efforts.

It's a girl!  She's due March 10.  

Messed up week

It’s been a really really messed up week
Seven days of torture, seven days of bitter
And my girlfriend went and cheated on me . . . no wait, I don't have a girlfriend.

What I do have is a $300 ER bill, a $1400 truck tires and repair bill, a $100 vet bill and somewhere between a $600 and $1200 car repair bill (finding out Monday if my warranty is still in place.)

La la la, whatever, la la la, it doesn’t matter, la la la, oh well, la la la

DEB took his truck in for tires and found out he needed break work and some other stuff, which we couldn't afford, so we didn't get.

On Wednesday morning he woke up with severe pain and concluded he probably had another kidney stone. He called the doctor, took some 11 year old pain killers and sent me off to work. When I got back he said "We need to go the the ER now." 3 hours and $300 later we had new pain killers and some pee filters. The pain mysteriously disappeared and hasn't been back since, sans drugs.

Friday Louie had to go to the vet ER because he had some kind of seizure. He couldn't focus his eyes and wouldn't respond. The vet said she didn't know exactly was the problem was, but he was fine by the time he left a few hours later. She said watch him and if has more problems, take him to the regular vet for testing.

Saturday my car's big red exclamation point in a triangle light came on. DEB was driving and had to have it towed to a dealership. They said it was a warning light about getting the 120,000 mile check up or maybe I got too low on gas? Which was strange because no warning lights came on for 24 hours after it both got low and I filled it up and drove it 50+ miles. Crackpot Toyota people. They did an expensive diagnostic, said it needed lots of stuff, gave DEB a 2011 Prius rental and said check back on Monday to find out how much it will be.

This week gave me a headache.

People sending and posting baby videos: would it kill you to do a little narrating?!  I realize your baby is amazing, but a silent video of a baby wiggling around for a minute and a half don't cut it for me, and I'm feeling all maternal and stuff!

I went to the Doctor today.  I started coughing just as he walked in.
"You were diagnosed with asthma when you were a kid."  (not a question)
"No."
"You should have been."

I think I just had a 'House' moment.

I said, "I have fall allergies."
He said, "Among other things."

I've never even seen this man before!

He said, "You know you are married to a nerd."
I said, "Yes, I know."  (Insightful man after all.)

He said, "I'm going to send the nurse in to give you a test. If you don't pass it you should go to the emergency room."

I passed.

He said, "Well, it looks like you are getting enough oxygen, I'm going to give you an antibiotic so you don't get pneumonia.  Keep taking over the counter allergy and cough meds.  Good luck!"

That was one of the strangest doctor visits I've ever had.

Blogging from the phone.

It has happened.  The 80s styles are back in the worst possible ways.  I was at McDonald's yesterday and for whatever reason there were about a million high school students there too. One girl was dressed like she had just come from the staring roll in the 1980s.

At first I thought she was dressed for a play, but when I looked around I noticed hints of her 'style' on the other girls too.  The off the shoulder shirts, tights, raglan sleeves here and there and in neutral colors one can ignore it, pretend it's not happening, but this one girl- I should have taken a picture.

She was wearing pink tennis shoes, purple legwarmers, blue tights, a jean mini skirt, a gray off the shoulder shirt, with a black and neon splatter tank top underneath.  She had her hair up in a side pony tale secured by an enormous red scrunchie.  She had a neon green headband and those big plastic pink and green sunglasses that were popular in the day.  She finished off her look with blue eye shadow and a pink purse. 

The only additions or changes she could have made were bigger hair, a banana clip and slouchie socks (2 pair in different colors.)  Woe is me- this is really happening.

I was driving up the hill to my apartment yesterday when I saw this little kid "racing" the cars going up the hill.  I decided I should slow down, rev my engine and let him "win."  But, I couldn't, there was a car behind me.  I didn't want to make the driver mad.  You never want to anger drivers in my neighborhood.  It's a little too shady for that. Anyway, I started thinking, "Is it even possible to rev the engine on this car?"  I've had this car for three years and I've never tried to rev the engine.

Before I got this Prius I drove a 1985 Nissan Z.  It had a big engine and a manual transmission.  That car sounded like it was going fast just sitting in the driveway.  I revved the engine regularly, just to hear how cool it sounded.

When I pulled into my parking spot at home I put the car in park and stepped on the gas petal.  The engine turned off.  It was as though my car were saying, "Uh- no I'm not going to do that.  I'm not that kind of car."  So I put it in drive and put one foot on the break and one foot on the gas.  My car turned back on, (obligingly) and purred.  "mmmmmmm"  "mmmmmmmm"  I had to turn off the radio and roll down the windows to hear it.

That Z is laughing at my Prius from the junk yard.

So, now I know, the answer to "Can I rev my car?"  is "No."

Look at the decline in my blog readership.  Looks like the economy.

Sometimes I ask the dogs questions.
 "Do you want a treat?"
 "Do you want to go outside?"
"What was that sound?"
 "Did you do this?"
"Where's your toy?"

 Buzz responds as a normal dog should.  He barks, wags his tail, runs in circles, starts doing random tricks or hides in his box, depending on the question (more importantly the tone of the question.)

 Louie some times takes cues from Buzz, but usually just sits there and stares at me as though he were trying to communicate with his tiny mind.  It's like I can almost get what he's trying to say . . .  but no.  A few times he has stared at me for a while, and then purposefully walked  over the computer as though he had decided the charade was up and he would type his message out, but just before he reaches the keyboard he turns around, like "No, that would be showing them too much."

The other day I was at a friend's house.  Her little girl ran in and announced it was "FREEZING" outside!  "It's so cold, there is ICE on the grass! It's probably going to SNOW!"  (It was in the mid 70s)

What has the hottest summer EVER done to the weather sense of the children?

Ok she is a rather dramatic child.  One day I commented on the monkeys in the living room.  Her mother explained that they had to be banished from her daughter's room each night because one night the daughter came out all hysterical and saying she couldn't sleep in there because the monkeys kept slapping her.  Nice by day, naughty by night sock monkeys!

I don't know about you, but I believe her.  I don't trust monkeys.

Computer with a new motherboard, welcome home!

What I really want are some new pens.  What I really need is to stop buying new pens, and to find and use my old pens.

Sometimes spending a few dollars on a want is worth it!

School starts soon.  Vacation is never long enough.  Even with the meager list of things I wanted to accomplish- most of them are left undone.

 I'll teach a seminar tomorrow to 20 new MBA students in TCU's Neeley School of Business.  My job is to remind them how to read. :)
I'm offering suggestions on how to read faster, remember more and take notes, specifically while working on case studies.
(like I know)

Looks like Blogger's Big Brother is watching.  I just found out that since my blog began it has been accessed in Bulgaria 29 times.  At this very moment two people in The USA and one in Germany are looking at it.  I feel like a CREEPER!  I know too much and I like it!!!

Yesterday Louie fell down the stairs.  It was horrifying.  His tiny little fuzzy foot slipped off the first step and he bounced down every hard wooden step until he reached the bottom.  Left side-Right side-Back-Belly-Left . . . I was having visions of a toddler bouncing down the stairs in a similar way- how it would break little bones and crack a tiny skull.  Louie, however bounced to the landing and got up and and looked around like, "Nobody saw that right?!" The whole time he was bouncing down I was standing at the top of the stairs saying, "Dog! Stairs! Falling!"  When I got down the stairs I picked him up and checked him out, he didn't seem to be any worse for the ware.  Resilient little critter.

My gmail was hacked.  Boo  Add another to "Things I thought would never happen to me."

Last week we went to see Johnny about our rings.  Johnny is the jeweler Daniel worked with to design my opal ring, which I love.  Daniel bought the opal over 10 years ago looking forward to putting it into an engagement ring.  When he proposed he said this was the ‘surprise’ ring and we could get a diamond later.  At first I thought I would wait for the diamond.  But after talking to Johnny (an ultimate salesman) I decided to get him to make a diamond ring for me too.  He’s a character, and always busy traveling and buying and selling.  There’s no telling when Johnny might have time- so I figured this was my chance to get him to make a ring that corresponds to my opal ring with some of his signature touches as a jeweler.  The rings should be ready next week. 

This week has been busy.  I’ve been on spring break, but I’ve been busy with wedding stuff every day.  The day before yesterday we stuffed, sealed, addressed and stamped about 400 invitations.  There were about 100 missing from the print run, so we can pick those up tomorrow and have the invites out this weekend.  Our invitations are also one of a kind designs made my Jessica my soon to be sister-in-law. 

Yesterday Daniel and I got our engagement pictures taken.  I think they are going to turn out really well.  We went to Handley, the little town where we will get married, and took some pictures with a caboose (the town symbol) then we went to a few parks in Arlington.

Our photographer is about 12 years old.  I told him I got a haircut and the woman styled it so that it looked like I just walked out of 1990.  He said,  “Oh, that’s when I was born!”  Oh well, his pictures are awesome, so what do I care how old he is?

Today I was with Jessica’s mother because she will be making my veil.  Again, it will be amazing. 

Tomorrow is Daniel’s birthday- so we will be out and about for that and that’s the end of my spring break.  Tragic.

We did decide to go to Spain for our honeymoon though!  Wow- that will be amazing, awesome, fantastico!