The last few projects I've finished: a chicken/egg toy, a rabbit toy, a "happy poo(p)" toy and some ambivalent pee and a fertility doll. Seems like a pattern to me. I'll have to get some pictures- I understand some of those things might be hard to imagine in yarn form.

I've been reading Trixie Belden- she's like Nancy Drew, but less cool I suppose. The books were written starting in the late 1940s and continued on for a while I suppose- there are 38 or more books. I used to read them when I was a kid- I think my mom used to read them when she was a kid- and she bought them for me at garage sales when she would find them.

They are so wholesome- all the kids are super nice boys and girls- who also happen to solve mysteries. I don't know if I know what's going to happen from the beginning because they are very childish stories or if I somehow remember them- I'm sure I read most the 38 available.

Back to Trixie- I have the first three books and #10. I think I'll look for the last book in the series so I will know how it ends- no use reading them all again! :)

Your Result: 100% Texan

You have scored the highest Texan percentage available. Your mother should be proud. Go ahead and call her, I'll wait. Anywho, go eat some chili, ride a longhorn and pick some blue bonnets because Texas is just that great. PROUD TEXAN!!!!!

HA! Take that!

Now I have to go to Walmart for a victory lap!

Actually I guess on about 1/3 of the question . . . Where is Big Red bottled? What is the state bird? What city is Blue Bell ice cream made in? I don't know, I just eat the ice cream and make sure the birds don't eat my dog.

I just had an epic battle with a hundred million roaches.

hyperbole

I won of course, but it was disconcerting none-the-less.

Good thing the bug guy is coming tomorrow.

They were all in the dining room- weird.

I'm gonna blame it on the neighbor.

Why else would I have roaches in the dining room but not the kitchen?

Eww- I have to go wash my hands again.

Martha Stewart's dogs have their own blog.

I'm just saying.

Do people actually have time to read what somebody thinks a dog would write if it had, you know, thumbs?

It's difficult to comprehend.

Martha's dogs have a higher readership than most blogs I'd guess.

I showed my grammar class a picture like this one and said, "Who is this?" They came up with "White Snow and the seven short people."

Yeah- that made me happy. I should ask those types of questions more often, but they do lead to long conversations about dwarfs and midgets and human growth hormone . . . bother.

The colors are a bit off from the true- it's really hard to take a picture of that red for some reason. Must be haunted. MATER IS WAITING FOR YOU!

 
 
 
 

I crocheted myself a tomato- turns out he's not psychotic at all. I tried. I made him one giant-crazy eye. Then I thought for sure he needed two giant-crazy eyes, but when I put them on they weren't right at all. One giant crazy eye was slightly larger than other giant-crazy eye, they didn't look right with or without eyelids . . . so in the end my little tomato got two cute little embroidered eyes- like monkey eyes. (If you can imagine.) That wasn't enough so he also got a cute little button nose. What a cute little innocent tomato- like the tomato next door. It's too dark to take a picture.

I also finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows today. Very dramatic. I also went to Goodwill. I bought three dresses two skirts and six dog toys for about $35.00. What a deal.

Fruit or vegetable?

Botanically, a tomato is the ovary, together with its seeds, of a flowering plant: therefore it is a fruit or, more precisely, a berry. However, the tomato is not as sweet as those foodstuffs usually called fruits and, from a culinary standpoint, it is typically served as part of a salad or main course of a meal, as are vegetables, rather than at dessert in the case of most fruits. As noted above, the term vegetable has no botanical meaning and is purely a culinary term. Originally the controversy was that tomatoes are treated as a fruit in home canning practices. Tomatoes are acidic enough to be processed in a water bath rather than a pressure cooker as "vegetables" require.

This argument has had legal implications in the United States. In 1887, U.S. tariff laws that imposed a duty on vegetables but not on fruits caused the tomato's status to become a matter of legal importance. The U.S. Supreme Court settled the controversy on May 10, 1893 by declaring that the tomato is a vegetable, based on the popular definition that classifies vegetables by use, that they are generally served with dinner and not dessert (Nix v. Hedden (149 U.S. 304)).[31] The holding of the case applies only to the interpretation of the Tariff Act of March 3, 1883, and the court did not purport to reclassify the tomato for botanical or other purposes other than for paying a tax under a tariff act.

Tomatoes have been designated the state vegetable of New Jersey. Arkansas took both sides by declaring the "South Arkansas Vine Ripe Pink Tomato" to be both the state fruit and the state vegetable in the same law, citing both its culinary and botanical classifications. In 2006, the Ohio House of Representatives passed a law that would have declared the tomato to be the official state fruit, but the bill died when the Ohio Senate failed to act on it. However, in April 2009 a new form of the bill passed, making the tomato the official fruit of the state of Ohio. Tomato juice has been the official beverage of Ohio since 1965. A.W. Livingston, of Reynoldsburg, Ohio, played a large part in popularizing the tomato in the late 1800s.

Due to the scientific definition of a fruit, the tomato remains a fruit when not dealing with US tariffs. Nor is it the only culinary vegetable that is a botanical fruit: eggplants, cucumbers, and squashes of all kinds (such as zucchini and pumpkins) share the same ambiguity.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tomato

I learned today: Potatoes and tomatoes are related- also related to tobacco and eggplants and belladonna (deadly nightshade) I just like to say DEADLY NIGHTSHADE!

I heard long ago that Europeans used to grow tomatoes for decorative plants, but thought the fruit was poisonous- well I see why now- what with the DEADLY NIGHTSHADE!
There is a resemblance.

I learned something else too- but I've already forgotten what it was. Must be old age or DEADLY NIGHTSHADE!

It seems I have some unusual fascination with tomatoes, but its not new- I'm sure I've written at least one other lengthy blog about tomatoes- (DEADLY NIGHTSHADE)

I'm still really excited about my plants- hope they live all summer! *DEADLY NIGHTSHADE

Wish I had a garden.


deadly nightshade!

Jesus even loves psychotic tomatoes

I didn't make this, but I want to make one now . . .

My students, being my ever present news source told me to be careful about swine flu-Well, acually they said "Sween flu" to which I negotiated out the understanding of Swine- you man like a pig? Pork? Yeah- SWINE like FINE- ok, I'll watch out for pigs, and recently returning Mexicans- One student said her mother called her to see if she was ok from the tornado- (we had a tornado?) and the swine flu--

In other news- maybe Jesus did die on a Wednesday- I just read an article all about how the pope and the Pharisees conspired against us to mislead us into Sunday worship and a "good" Friday. Don't worry the author assures us we will still go to heaven even if we are wrong.

http://ad2004.com/prophecytruths/Articles/Prophecy/3days3nights.html

Uh- I've just been informed that blogging is so out of fashion and I should be "twittering" pshaw!

I noticed that my tomato blossoms closed up last night- which made me wonder if tomatoes were night shades, which made it look it up, which lead me to this poster . . . I don't think I agree.

But they are night shades.

my tomato plants have blossoms-I find that strangely exciting

I just finished making a baby blanket- for no baby in particular

I made a six month resolution to stop buying yarn- one month down

I'm reading Harry Potter 6- but I'm having a hard time remembering 5- geeze how long ago was that?

my mouth wants something salty, but my stomach couldn't care less

it's really hard to teach a class of five students- we just rattle around in our tomb of a classroom

speaking of tombs- the fact that the preacher mispronounced sepulcher on Easter Sunday still makes me smile- not so much that he mispronounced, but how he made it sound- saPLECKer it wasn't an accident- he meant to say it that way. For all I know that's how it's pronounced in the original Latin- but the non-standard-ness of it . . . well :)

he also said Jesus must have died on Wednesday- that's counter-culture and new to me, but some other people seemed to think it was A-okay- something about the Passover sabbath being special or different etc. I'm not sure I buy it. maybe I'll look into that.

http://theliterarylink.com/mangostreet.html

I had my students do an assignment based on this free style poem. They did awesome jobs. It made me want to write one using the same criteria that I gave them. They were supposed to use this writing as model, and write about their names, how they got them, what they mean, how they feel about them, similes, metaphors and stories. Wow. I was impressed. I wish I had more time to think about it and write one now- alas, it is bed time.

I will however post about the bluebonnets which I wrote about over the weekend and didn't publish.

Pk and I went to take pictures of/with the blue bonnets a few weeks ago. Sadly, the blue bonnets were kind of anorexic looking at that time, while now they are looking rather robust. In years past, however, the blue bonnets have been known to curl up and die after a month- so we felt we had to act fast. They had started appearing two weeks before we went, we didn’t want to miss out on the event. We were pre-emptive.

We drove around looking for the best blue bonnets. We were sorely disappointed at the lack of blue bonnets at the Cedar Hill State Park. Although, since we were there already, we had a little look-see around. There’s an old farm on the park property. I guess it’s there to show all the city-folks how farms look . . . anyway- there are several barns, sheds, store houses- and other farmish architecture. What do I know- I never lived on an actual farm. I did briefly live with my grandparents in a semi-farm-like environment.

We read the sign about the barn, we went in the barn. The barn had been built during WWII and was constructed out of some older structures, a log cabin and an old one room school house. The sign asked if we could find the older structures within the larger structure- yeah sure, not that hard. The school house had a door at the front and a window on each side. The door was locked. The window on my side was closed but not locked. I decided to open it and peek inside.

Inside it was dark, very dark, even though the window on the other side was open. It was creepy dark. Being that it was so dark, and that I am so nosy, I stuck my head in the window to see more darkness. That’s when I heard it. It was a – well- defiantly a snort. A snort from something with a rather large nose. It didn’t register at first- I don’t know, maybe I thought PK did it- not that her nose is especially big, but when you’re all into the adventure of dark-school-house-barns of WWII . . . some things just slip by I guess. To punctuate the situation, IT snorted again. I got it that time.

SOMETHING was in the school/barn! I snapped my head out of there, closed the window and bolted it. I didn’t squeal until I heard IT shuffle around in there. How fast can Shannon get out of a state park barn? Dang fast!

PK and I discussed the possibilities of what IT might have been. A cow? It was a barn- but also a state park- would the state really leave an animal in the barn without any warning? The other window was open, maybe a wild animal got in there, maybe a crazy person was living in the barn/school! Strangely enough, it didn’t bother us much once we were out of the barn, except I refused to walk through the barn again on our way out.

As for the blue bonnets, we found some acceptable ones on private property a little farther down the road, just across the road from the pet cemetery. While we were in the area we stopped by to see who was at the cemetery. We saw But-But, Poopie Baby and Dumper. Some people name their animals very literally.

 

Just to be safe.

I heard Abraham Lincoln was a depressed racist who wanted to send all the former slaves back to Africa.

Just saying . . . I prefer summer storms to Lincoln and outhouses. Spring storms are also good.

The blue bonnets are lovely now. More on that later.

In class last week we read this poem,
http://www.internal.org/view_poem.phtml?poemID=109
“Out- out-” by Robert Frost.

First I asked, “What is the story about?”
They said, “We don’t understand.”
I said, “Look at the first line, where is the setting?”
They said, “We don’t know what it means.”
I said, “Look at it, it says, “The buzz saw snarled and rattled in the yard.” Where are they?"
They said, “What’s a buzz saw?”
This is where it started getting out of hand.
Me: "It’s a motorized saw."
Student 1 : "I don’t know what it is."
Me: "It’s a saw that has a motor, it runs on gas so you can work faster.”
Student 1: "No, I don’t know."
Me: “A chain saw, a motor saw, it makes a sound like “Buzzz!” Texas Chain Saw Massacre?” (Insert miming a chainsaw action)
Student 1: “No.”
Me: “Okay never mind, it’s a saw with a motor, that’s all.
Student 1 talks to Student 2.
Student 3: “I don’t understand, what is a saw?”
Me: (thinking) Déjà vu!
Me: “It’s a tool you use to cut down trees."
Student 3: “What is ‘cut down trees’?”
Me: (thinking) What have I been doing all semester? Do I actually teach English?
Me: “Trees are made out of wood, when you want to use the wood you have to kill the tree and ‘cut it down.” It falls down, then you cut it into pieces to use it.”
Student 1: “I got it!”
Me: “What?”
Student 1: “Buzz saw, chain saw, Texas Chain Saw Massacre!”
Me: “Okay, good.”
Insert translation of “Texas Chain Saw Massacre” into French, where it sounds much less gory.
Student 3: “Oh! It is logical, it makes that sound, so it has that name.”
Student 1: “It isn’t logical! You don’t name things for the way they sound . . .”
I left the room, the conversation was making me thirsty.
I came back and said, “Okay, does everyone know what a ‘buzz saw is now?”
Me: “Good, so what does ‘snarled’ mean?”
Blank looks- I should try a new question.
Me: “Animals make this sound, what kind of animal do you think can make a sound similar to a saw?”
Student 1: “A bird?”
Me: “No.”
Student 2 “A cow?”
Me: “No.”
Student 3: “A car?”
Me: “An Animal!”
Student 4: “Oh! I know! It is the sound a spider makes!”
I’ve lost patience already, and this answer . . . well . . .
Me: “The sound a SPIDER makes?! What sounds do spiders make?”
My imagination is already running wild with thoughts of giant screaming, snarling Venezuelan fighting- jungle spiders . . . I don’t even know if Venezuela has a jungle . . .
Student 4: “Oh! No! I mean a snake!”
Me: “Uh- no. I’ll just tell you. A dog or a wild animal like a bear or monkey when it is angry and it shows it’s teeth, like a growl. So you see, in the first line he is saying that the saw sounds angry like an animal when it cuts the wood.” *poorly worded sentence . . . now I'm thinking about an animal cutting wood . . . no, I mean- While it is cutting wood, the saw sounds like an angry animal. HA!*
Students: “oh, yeah …”

The first line took so much time an energy I wasn’t sure I wanted to go on.

I've been reading my car manual. I know, nobody actually reads car manuals, uh- I guess I'm nobody.

It's mildly entertaining. At first I was convinced that it was just crazy repetitive because they don't want to get sued- but that doesn't jive with the other quality it has of being pretty hard to understand. The writing is squirlly- like it should be clear to understand how to "manually unlock the driver's side door" since I've done that task many times on other cars, but it seemed really complicated when I read it in the manual. Like, "Whoa- I don't know if I can do THAT!"

I've sometimes wondered if manuals are written by people who are so unhappy with their lives that they have decided to torture the rest of us with poorly worded instructions. That, however, I do not believe to be the case for this Toyota manual. I now believe that it was written by people struggling to master the English language. It looks pretty good most of the time, then I come across a sentence like this: "When returning the seatback upright, be careful not to make yourself hit by the seatback which will bound with considerable spring force."

I will now never be able to say "Well, Toyota didn't warn me that I could make myself hit by the bounding seatback if I didn't use care!" No- they have warned me, and now I must heed that warning.

Another thing about my car- I have a remote door unlock- The actual remote also works as the ignition key. There are however regular key holes on the doors of the car. Right? I mean, all cars have key holes, or do they? I realized only yesterday that I didn't actually have a key for the key hole. Wait a minute- I do have a key hole don't I? I looked out my apartment window- Hmpht- I don't see one on the passenger side door- odd. I can't take the suspense, I had to go outside and check it out.

In fact there is no key hole on the passenger's side door- there is not key hole on the hatch door- but there is a key hole on the driver's side door. That means there must be a key. Turns out there is a 'secret' key on the remote that only opens the driver's side door- because as it turns out, that's the only door with a key hole.

I better keep reading the manual.