non-posh jars

I've taken lately to putting everything in glass cars (plastic for the babies.)  My breakfast and lunch jars are sitting on my desk, looking empty and forlorn.

My Campbell's black bean cilantro soup was a mistake. The hazelnut chocolate milk on the other hand was yummers.

My jars are not Mason jars- just baby food jars and salsa jars- juice jars and pickle jars.  One day I will break a jar in an unfortunate place and my jar-love will cease.

a flash of my future

Lailah will be walking soon.  She cruises and stretches all of her 27 inches to reach the next piece of furniture- she stands alone when she's not thinking about it, and has *pretty good* control of when and where she sits down.  Lailah is a busy body, who loves to be held, but hates to be held down. She's squirmy and wiggly and willful. Lailah, like her sister has "ape arms" she can reach faster and farther than you would think possible for a baby.

Eowyn is still not happy with Lailah.  Occasionally she is sweet to her baby sister, but most of the time it's "No Lailah! No touch!" or "Lailah hurt my princess!"  Which is translated as "Lailah touched my dress." (Major crime in Eowyn's mind)

Lailah, on the other hand, loves everything about Eowyn. Before she could crawl she would watch her sister and giggle.  Now that she's mobile, Lailah is everywhere Eowyn is.  Lailah wants the eat the same food, drink the same drink, and play with the same toys.  Lailah wants to be next to her all the time.  Eowyn wants Lailah to be anywhere else.

I keep hoping that when Lailah becomes a steady walker Eowyn will learn how fun Lailah can be.

I had a glimpse of what I can expect when by little angels start working together.  I had a full glass of water.  I put it in the middle of the coffee table, which is- for now, one of the few places Lailah still can't reach. I was knitting something, and not looking at the girls when I heard my glass of water spilling onto the floor. I looked up to see Eowyn holding the glass up for Lailah to drink, and the water dripping down the front of Lailah's shirt.  I saw two sets of blue eyes looking at me with this expression of "That's not what we wanted to happen at all- are we in trouble?"

At that moment I knew what my future would look like- those sweet blonde haired, blue eyed angels wreaking all manner of havoc- then giving me those innocent-scarred looks.

What could I say?  It was one of the few times that Eowyn was being sweet to Lailah without any prompting from me or Daniel. I didn't want to scold Eowyn for trying to be nice to her sister- her poor thirsty baby sister who couldn't reach the water.

I didn't say anything- just went to get a towel, and another glass of water.

Monster on the ceiling

Conversations with a two year old:

OE: Mama! I'm scared! (hiding and shaking- she's really good at pretending to be scared)
ME: What are you afraid of?
OE: A dragon!
ME: A dragon? Where?
OE: In the bath room!
ME: What color was it?
OE: (high pitched shaky voice) Pink!

Then she skips away happy as can be, because this a regular conversation.  She's not really scared of dragons, she loves to see dragons on tv, and has toy dragons.  She likes to roar like a dragon, "RARRR!"

I say this to point out that she generally not generally afraid of things other kids find scary at that age.

Last night she stayed at her grandparents house as part of the first ever "cousins sleep over." Everyone had said night-night, the lights were out, they were laying down together- which is quite an accomplishment for two 3 year-olds and one 2 year old.

Suddenly they heard the ceiling fan clicking, and somebody said, "What's that?" and Liam said, "It's a monster!" and calmly got up and left.  His arm was itchy and he wanted more medicine.  That left the two girls in there to think about the monster.  Tia went back in the room to get the medicine for Liam.  She turned on a bathroom light, which cast shadows across the clicking fan.  And Eowyn Lost It. "It's a monster! I want my Mama!" She was I-have-been-playing-hard-and-didn't-get-a-nap-today-and now-it's-way-past-my-bed-time-in-a-strange-place-with-a-monster-two-year-old-Hysterical.

It was pathetic.

ME: What's wrong?
OE: Monster! (sobbing)
ME: Where?
OE: In there (still sobbing and trying to catch her breath)
ME: What color was it?
OE: (starting to calm down) Pink ...
ME: Pink? Pink's a good color. Do you like pink?
OE: yeah ...

Then she stayed up for another hour or more.

Then we left- so I hope the rest of the first ever cousin sleep over went well.

Conversations with OE

Conversations with a two year old:
OE: Mama, you're my favorite.
ME: Oh, I'm your favorite? Is Daddy your favorite?
OE: Yes
ME: Is Liam your favorite? (cousin)
OE: Yes
ME: Is Noni your favorite? (grandmother)
OE: Yes
ME: Is Grandpa your favorite?
OE: Yes
ME: Is Lailah your favorite? (sister)
OE: (pause) Um, No....
EVERY TIME!

self reflection

Self reflection is what the purpose of my blog was way back in the day.  I didn't really expect anyone to want to read it.  I still have pretty low expectations.  I fell out of the self expression game.  Then came facebook, where self expression comes in the form of memes and shared news stories.  It is much easier- very little effort is involved.

I've been going to Toast Masters meetings.  It's not because I have a deep desire to be a better public speaker, it is because I teach a class on public speaking and taking my students to these meetings gives them a chance to hear Americans speak on a variety of topics, and shows them what I expect from them.  Of course it doesn't hurt me at all to get paid for an hour of work I got some body else to do for me.

One of the speeches today was about the "Starving Baker"  The guy who gets so busy taking care of everyone else that he doesn't have time to eat, or take care of himself.  The girl who spoke said that she felt she had let herself get too busy, so she took a step back and determined to do somethings she wanted to do instead of only things she felt like she had to do.  One of the things she wanted to do was join Toast Masters (of all things) and the other was to take more time for self reflection through writing in her journal.

That reminded me that my poor blog was her languishing for years.  And maybe I could benefit from some self reflection too.

My reflection for today is this.  I really enjoy my job.  Teaching is fun, and getting to meet and talk to students from all around the world is interesting.  However, sometimes I wish I had a desk job.  I wish I could go to work and sit down with a cup of coffee and browse the internet for 20-30 minutes in the morning while I got settled.  I wish I could randomly, in between projects start reading about topics that interest me.  I wish I had time- time that I had to be sitting at my desk anyway, to look busy by writing on my blog about all the things that I learned about in the random reading I did on company time.

I know that's not very aspirational.  I don't want to be a boss- I don't want to be in charge- I just want to sit at a desk, do my work, waste some time and go home at the end of the work day without having to think about my work at all again until I get up and go back in the next day.

Sometimes I think I really should have been a librarian, but they don't get the awesome holidays that teachers get.

grading...grading

Some of my favorite sentences as I grade my final exams and tests:

A lot of house pets are eatable, so the human can care of them to eat them, and it depends on the society and the culture.
The last point is that servise pets are not for eat, but in some culture people grow pets for food.
When you want to talk with other people, a dog usually get ready to chat with you.
When you want to say some bad words or sentences to someone, a dog can become that person, it just listen, never say.
Pets and humans are friends, we should protect them.  We cannot hurt them.  If you always hurt them, you will hurt pet's heart.
On the other hand, pets responsibilities are greeting you when you come home, eating, barking, and peeing on your sofa.  That's it.

Manana

Yesterday my socks matched my outfit perfectly.  Unfortunately, they did not match each other. This is the story of my life at this time.  There is a mountain of laundry in the garage.  Most of it is clean, but heaped up in the corner.  We go out there and rummage though it every morning for socks and underwear.I need a new system.  D said, "If you can't keep up with the laundry, you should ask me for help."  I replied, "If you notice I can't keep up with the laundry, you should help."

EJ's socks never match.  Keeping up with a toddler's socks is near impossible. She takes them off and tosses them in random places, but never both of them in the same place.  I will find one in the car, another in the bathroom; one in the living room, another in her bed.  I'm doing well to give her matching shoes each day.

My little shoe princess... she is perfectly positioned to be that girl everyone, both guys a girls love because of her varied interests.  If you give her a choice between pink and any other color, she chooses pink.  If she sees something that sparkles or shines, it's hers.  If she sees a car or a truck, especially a monster truck (or as she calls it a "truckatruck) she goes wild.  If she had to choose between shoes and a truck I can't say I don't know what she would do.  She would take both, declaring them, "MINE!"

She used to be very interested in trains and planes.  Recently; however, she is concerned they are going to "get you."  By 'you' she means herself, but she's only two and pronouns are hard.  Her daddy says, "I'm going to get you!"  She says, "Daddy get you!"  = Daddy got me!  In the past we would hear a plane or train and I would say, "You hear that? What is it? It's a train/plane."  She would say, "Hear train/plane? It's a train/plane." Now when she hears a train or plane, she runs to me and says, "Train/Plane get you!" She's scared and worried.  I'm not sure why- I'm pretty sure she's never been close enough to a plane or a train to realize how big and (sort of scary) the really are.

She will also say, "Help you mama."  This is modeled after my question, "Do you want me to help you?"

This morning she picked up a banana and "Manana!"  Then she followed me around the house with the banana saying, "Mama, manana!"  Of course my thought was, "Mehnamehna ...do-do-do-do-do!"
I looked at her and said, "Say banana."
She said, "Manana."
Me: "Banana."
Her: "Manana!"
Me: "Ba-nan-a!"
Her: "Ma-nan-a!"
Me: "Banana."
Her: "Banana."
Me: "Good!"
Her: "My banana!"
Me: "Okay."
Her: "Manana!"
Me: "Fine."

The nice thing about personal blogging is that it is impossible to get off topic- because the topic is what ever I want!

first cold

I admit, it is kind of fun to have a cold spell here in North Texas, mostly because I know it won't last.  I'm also for it at the moment because this the first time I've felt cold in two years.  Last winter was so mild, and the winter before that I was pregnant, and I'm never cold and pregnant at the same time.

It's not quite as cold as foretold, which is also ok.  I was not looking forward to hosting an icy Thanksgiving.  Yeah- people are coming here, but no worries because I'm not in charge of the turkey- only the  bread and veggies.

D'Juan

I dreamed of another lost friend last night .... He was sweet as ever, but his name in my dream was "D'Juan" which seemed odd even in dream land. It was nice to see you again, it must have been the James Taylor and Olivia Newton John I've come across this past week.

Sweet Baby James

Was listening to James Taylor in the car today.  Remembering Hill Billy Mini Golf, Anna, and the less rule bound folks I was hanging out with the summer of 94.  

Dreaming

I dreamed last night of a long lost...  He asked why he wasn't satisfied in his life. Even though I haven't heard from or about this person in many years I gave his this advice... it's more fulfilling  to complete something important that needs to be done than it is to just do what you want all the time.  So spake the fortune cookie.  So- suck it up, and do something important.

Just preparing to vacuum (after D already picked up all the toys) got me out of breath and my heart pounding, (not from excitement, trust me.)  Oh- 8.5 months pregnant, I'm so over you.

I've got some kind of allergy/cold/flu crud.  Boo!

Baby Lailah, if you were waiting for me to finish your layette, I have half a bootie left- feel free to make your appearance any time now!

god head

In the past each time I had a dream I couldn't stop thinking about the next day or longer I would write it down so I wouldn't forget- so I could think about it later, or other people could think about it with me.  The I stopped writing things down- what a lazy habit to not write things down.  :0)

Here's the dream:  There was a scientific equation.  It was something commonly known, well accepted and simple.  I don't remember what the equation was, but something like E=mc2.

There was also an archeological discovery which was making news.  It was an enormous head of a statue of an ancient god.  Just the head was over two stories tall.  It was an unknown god.  In the eye of the statue a complex equation was carved.  Many linguists, cryptologists, scientists and mathematicians tried for many years to break the code and understand the equation.

Finally someone broke the code, and also understood that by combining the ancient complex equation with the modern simple equation there would be a massive leap in the course of human technology.  We would suddenly be far more advanced than we had ever dreamed of being.

End of dream.

So when I woke up I thought about implications of such an event.  What power might that person who broke the code possess?  How does the fact that the ancient code was written in the eye of a god factor into the story?

When I told D. his first question was, "What was the technological advance?"  Interestingly I understood that was a detail that wasn't actually important to the 'message' of the dream. However, it is very interesting to imagine what the advance could have been . . . space travel, advances in food production, longer lives . . .

Imagine what it could be, and imagine the one person who might have control over it world wide.

Imagine a false god giving information to a false prophet.

Imagine an antichrist with the future of mankind in his hands.

Just a note for posterity:  Disembodied heads- even if they are toys or ornaments creep me out. One of my former co-workers collects faces/heads and hands.  She has them hanging all over her house.  It's like a bunch of people looking at you and trying to grab you through the wall all the time.

We got everything moved into the house from storage last week.  There is no order here.  Once again there are boxes all over the place and I've run out of motivation to find places to put the stuff inside them.  Speaking of the stuff inside them . . . who has seven cake plates?  That would be me. I haven't even made seven cakes in the past 3 years.  I have six vacuum cleaners (I'm trying to remedy that situation) five blenders (I already got rid of two) two crystal trays, two beverage dispensers and several orderve platters, trays and multi tiered thingies. I have four or five sets of plates.  I am more excited about my two toasters because they are both pretty awesome for different reasons.  This is what happens when you walk around the store registering for wedding gifts willy-nilly.  I didn't think people would actually buy it all.

My exciting plans for the day include laundry, dishes, sorting and unpacking . . . chasing the toddler the whole time.

developmental delay

When EJ went for her 15 month checkup the doctor asked about her vocabulary.  The question was "Can your baby say 2 or more words that are not names of pets or family members?"  I said, "Yes."

Another question was, "When you throw or roll a small (tennis size) ball to your baby does he/she throw it back or does he/she hand it back?"  I said she hands it back.

The doctor said, "She doesn't throw it?"  
I said, "No, she either hands it back or kicks it."
Oh, she kicks it too?  That's good.  
Yes.
But no throwing?
No.
She should be throwing things by now. (Apparently this is a developmental delay.)
Well, I haven't really encouraged throwing things, I think it's a bad habit.
Uh- well maybe she could throw things outside.
Maybe.

I see she's starting to talk though?
Yes.
What does she say?
She says, "ball" and "shoe"  and "Noni"
What's "Noni?" 
Her grandmother.
No, that doesn't count. Does she say anything else?
She says "doggie."
Do you have a dog?
Yes.
I don't think that counts either.
OK.
Anything else?
I can't think of anything.

At the end of the appointment he says, "Okay, bye-bye!"
I say, "Oh, she says "bye" and "hi" and "good girl" and "no."
Well, you've just multiplied her vocabulary!

When we got home I realized she also says "apple" which means she hungry, or she sees food or drink of any kind.

Lately she's been saying "mo-mo"  I don't know what that means.

Sometimes she squeals, "ME! ME! ME! while we are praying and says, "Amen!" at the end.

Under the category of things that "don't count" she says, Mama, Dada, Noni, Bish (Buzz), Ouie (Louie), Owe-ee (Eowyn) and gogie (doggie).

Typical conversation with EJ:

Me: You want to give me a kiss?
EJ: No
Me: Are you a good girl?
EJ: Good girl.
Me: Can you say 'Amen'?
EJ: Me
EJ: Apple?
Me: Can you say 'Please'?
EJ: No
Me: Ok.

Bish-Bish

Last night I couldn't find Buzz to put him in his box.  I figured he just wanted to sleep outside.  This morning Louie was out barking at the neighbor's lawnmower. That's kind of strange, because usually he just alerts Buzz that there is something to be barked at, and Louie comes back in for a nap.

EJ was sleeping in.  I was trying to sleep in too, but Louie . . . the neighbor's lawn mower . . . 

When I got up I saw Louie sitting outside EJ's door, when he saw me he started whining and scratching at the door.  EJ was awake; she was in her crib squealing and giggling.  When I opened the door Buzz came racing out, followed by Louie. EJ was standing in crib saying, "Bish, Bish, Bish!"

"Bish" had found a bed under the crib and gotten shut in the baby's room all night.  I guess that's a good place for him.  EJ seemed to like it.

It's almost over

Tomorrow is my last day at work. I quit. I have a lot to do, but instead of doing it, I'm blogging about all of it.  I should be grading papers and organizing my grade book, marking tests, reading essays ... Cleaning my office, sorting though old papers.

I spend a lot of time avoiding those things and instead I troll Pinterest, and think about what I would like to do while I'm not working.  (Also avoiding thoughts of what I have to do.)

I have to pack up move and clean my apartment.  What a mess. My uncle looked at the new house and said "look at all the space!"  I know we have more than enough junk to fill it. No kidding

I need to decide where everything will go in the house, move everything around, clean, sort, organize...

Then there is storage and there we start all over again. Move, clean, sort, organize, find places... 

Blah.

Moving. ... Moving ... Moving!

The move has begun.  We are moving into Daniel's house.  He bought it when he graduated from college, and it has been a bachelor pad since then.  When we got married he came to my apartment and left the house as a rental property to his friends.  We were saving some money to pay off credit cards.  Now it is time to move back to the house and the condition of that place was terrible.  There is a jungle in the back yard, dirt and grime on every surface, a family of rats in the garage and general nastiness everywhere.  A bunch of people came over to clean yesterday and most of the situation has been remedied, but there is still a lot more to do.  We made it through first cleaning, now carpet cleaning and air duct cleaning, yard cleaning, second cleaning, packing, moving, apartment cleaning so that we can move on to unpacking, arranging and LIVING.

Moving is hard.

lazy days of summer ...

These are my "lazy days" of summer.  MIL says two toddlers are better than one, so as long as she has the cousin she prefers to take EJ too.  So, I get up at 6:30 and send baby and daddy on their way and I go back to bed.  I thought about not going back to bed this morning, but the bed won.  Then I thought that I should get up at 9:00, but the bed is really strong, so I finally won at about 9:45.  How great is that?

I got up and had a bowl of Coco Puffs, which I didn't have to share. (Not sharing food is such a rare occurrence these days it is notable.)  Then I spent 30+ minutes mindlessly looking at Pintrest on the iPad that is soon going the way of my lazy days (bye-bye.)

Blogging, howering, Bible reading and off to a meeting at work to say again bye-bye.

It was a hard decision, but I think it is the right one.  Our budget will be tight, but being home for EJ and the newbie will be great and having time to get settled in "the big house" will help me to feel more relaxed (I think.)

I'm sure not getting much done by way of packing around here.  C'est la vie.