My fortune cookie just told me that there is a Sagittarius admiring me from afar . . . is that you?

46% (Yankee). Barely into the Yankee category.

Do you use a southern dialect?
It seems I'm almost there . . . see what happens to a nice yankee girl when she's been the south this long?

http://mywebpages.comcast.net/lgrob/southern_dialect_quiz.htm

Sometimes I wish I carried a little realia with me. A large plastic gun to point at people when the do really ignorant things.
One of my pet peeves . . . when I'm walking across the street at a corner, in the walk way with the little white "walk" guy signaling me to "go ahead walk across the street, it's your turn now!" and up comes a car who wants to turn across my crosswalk. Is this my problem? I only have 45 seconds to get across the street. I like to take that 45 seconds as "my time" I like to walk slowly and deliberately across the street, as is my right as a pedestrian.
The pompous idiot in the air-conditioned-cushy seat-turning-right-on-red-car has the self-importance to honk at me to get out of her way faster!
That's when I want to walk up to her window and tell her "Pedestrians have the right of way, even if your light wasn't red and my 'walk' light wasn't on, which are both the case at the moment, I would still have the right of way." Alternatively I'd like to point a plastic gun at her until I was across the street, and let her think that her impetuous and rash actions have consequences and she’s about to meet them.

In the early twilight the electric lights are just starting to blink on, blink off,
Blinking now flashing, throbbing with the pounding of the music and the crowd.

This is the ticket, this is the ticket line.
This is the way in through the narrow gate, out through the wide.

The scent on the wind—hot dogs and cotton candy and stale beer on stale breath
And the carnies cry out as I walk down the thoroughfare, as I wade though the people
As I move though the lights and the music and the odors on the air
I recall fairs and festivals and carnivals before and they echo like the game man
“Hey! Baby Doll! Baby Doll! Baby Doll! Hey! Baby Doll!
Hey! Teddy Bear! Hey! Teddy Bear! Teddy Bear!”
And when you meet his eyes he’ll say, “Hey, Baby Doll, I’ll give it to you hit or miss.”
But don’t believe him, you’ll always miss.

You’ll always miss.

http://www.gone2thedogs.com/

apparently I am some sort of Canadian hunting dog whose sole purpose in life is to make ducks angry.

go figure

My car has a coolant leak. Every Monday I fill up the radiator and hope for the best. Last week I was filling up before I went to work (at 6:45 AM) when I heard this guy ask if I needed any help. I looked up and saw a small man, he looked kind of dirty and disheveled I assumed he was a street person (there’s a homeless shelter about two blocks away) But the odd thing . . . things were that 1. Generally the homeless people don’t come to my street because the police station is one block away, and I guess they get harassed. 2. It was 6:45 AM and cold enough for there to be frost on my windows and 3. He was carrying a jack. Not just a little jack that might come in an emergency kit in the trunk of your car, it was a huge mechanic shop steel hydraulic jack. It must have weighed at least 50lbs, and it didn’t have a handle, so I’m not sure it would have even worked if I had needed it.

He asked if I needed any help, but I didn’t really, I was just filling the radiator. Then he asked if I had a few bucks he could have, so I checked and gave $2.00, my only cash. He said thanks, and was there anything he could do for me to earn the money. I was at a loss, but he suggested scraping the frost off the windows, so I said, “okay” and handed him the scraper.

While he scraped he told me about his bum knee, and how he was waiting to hear back from the VA hospital to get it fixed. I told him I hoped he got it taken care of soon then we both finished and he picked up his jack and left. I didn’t even see where he went.

Sometimes I encounter people and I am left to wonder if the encounter meant something more than what was on the surface and if I could ever figure it out on my own. Or is it normal for a little man with a big jack to wander Cooper Street in the early morning hours?

http://brightwaypublishing.com/
Not available in any retail stores..."Eat Like Jesus!" is available only from this website or by mail! And there's no risk because we give you an unconditional 90-day guarantee! If you're not delighted with "Eat Like Jesus!", return it and we'll refund the purchase price to you right away! And our ordering is handled by Yahoo! stores, so it's easy and completely safe to order online! Just click the "Order" button now!

http://www.vicalecorporation.com/SearchResult.aspx?CategoryID=13 ( see talking Jesus . . . is that James Earl Jones?!)

http://www.huggyjesus.com/index.htm

http://www.fadtoys.com/dashboard-dazzlers/jesus-dashboard-dazzler.shtm

I thought I would look for the most rediculous Jesus related item . . . (Have I ever shown you my "Jesus Christ, Lord of All" action figure and tradeing cards?)

I have to stop for tonight, but I encourage all to send your contributions via email or comments

I leave tonight with this

Whoooo is the son of God? Whoooo?
http://www.goingjesus.com/cavalcade1.shtml

and


are my favorites

A South Dakota couple makes and markets candles that smell like Jesus.



http://msnbc.msn.com/id/7196956/

check out: www.foundmagazine.com


I found this outside my office building, caught in the bushes.we don't need the other 3/4 of this letter to get the gist.

Top ten books you probably haven’t read, but I think you should read.

Brave New World
Tess D’Urberville
The Complete Tales of Winnie the Pooh
The Red Tent
A Handmaiden’s Tale
Illusions: the Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah
Mr. God, this is Anna
Leo the Late Bloomer
The Little Prince
The Tao of Pooh

but who can stop at 10?

Lost Horizons
She
1984
Animal Farm
A is for Salad
Kim
A Passage to India

Okay- okay, but I could go on.

Raise your hand if you know how funny it is to see a dachshund roll over. (my hand is way up) I taught Buzz to roll over last night and tonight. He still argues with me a lot about it, but he’ll do almost anything for bacon treats. I had to teach him in two phases. First he learned “roll” where he would lay on his side and I would give him a treat. Then while he was on his side, I would tell him “over” and give him a treat after I pushed him over myself. Now, if I say, “Buzz, RollOver!” he’ll sit there and bark at me for a while, and if I keep saying it he’ll finally get around to the “roll” part and I have to keep saying “over! Over!!! OVER!” and eventually he’ll wiggle his way over to the other side. I must say, it is ridiculous. I love it.

I tried to post the other day, but something was wrong with blogger, so here's my blitz of info for this morning . . .

Last night I went to rent a movie and I saw somethings that I needed (NEEDED) to have for my own to keep until death or possibly boredom part us . . . Season two of Wonder Woman, and seasons six and seven of X-Files (my missing years). I briefly thought to myself, "I shouldn't buy all theses" then I thought "screw that, the universe has aligned with me on this night that both of my missing seasons are here and on sale, and I have money, and I just don't feel like price hunting for Wonder Woman."

the bluebonnets are coming!

CMT celebrates the return of one the most beloved pop culture hit series, of all time, The Dukes of Hazzard. A six-figure income is being offered to a Dukes of Hazzard enthusiast to be the new Vice President, CMT Dukes of Hazzard Institute. The job responsibilities for the Vice President, CMT Dukes of Hazzard Institute are:

• watch The Dukes of Hazzard every weeknight on CMT;
• know the words to The Dukes of Hazzard theme song, "Good Ol' Boys," written and performed on the series by the legendary Waylon Jennings;
• serve as media expert on The Dukes of Hazzard for the CMT Dukes of Hazzard Institute: must be available for TV, radio and newspaper interviews to share passion for The Dukes of Hazzard on CMT;
• write the CMT Dukes of Hazzard Institute online blog for cmt.com;
• be passionate about The Dukes of Hazzard on CMT;
• make appearances at special events such as Dukesfest 2005 in Bristol, Tenn., (June 4-5, 2005).

Questions candidates will be asked include:

• If you Bo, Luke and Daisy took off in The General Lee, what would happen next?
• If Waylon Jennings wrote your theme song, what would be the title and chorus?
• Which character on The Dukes of Hazzard do you most identify with and why?

Umm, so, apply now! http://www.cmt.com/interact/sweepstakes/dukes_institute/

I dreamed last night that Napoleon Dynamite helped me escape from the clutches (what exactly is a “clutch”?) of an evil corporate giant in Dallas. It was “sweet.”

I also dreamed my dog had puppies, which is surprising since he’s male, even more surprising, in my dream he also had kittens. Sweet!

“Will you bring me my chap stick?”
“No, Napoleon.”
“But my lips hurt real bad!—Idiot!”

I took a quiz to see what Napoleon Dynamite character I am. I’m the tots. The picture won’t post . . . Idiot!

lemme try again.



sweet!

Southerners say my pronunciation patterns are nasally. I say, “At least I know and can pronounce the difference between pen and pin.” Northerners say my vowels are too long and twangy. I say, “Get off my back you bunch of pronunciation Nazis!”

I have difficulty hearing and can’t pronounce the difference between “cot” and “caught.”

So, sue me!
I’m a linguist, I’m an English teacher. (I’m a scientist.)
No, not really.

?????? ????!
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??????????????? ????? ??????????? ?? e-mail. ?????????????, ??????? ????????, ??????????, ???????????? ??????. ??????????? ?? ?????? ? ??????.
???????:
???.:
???????? ???????!

Consider the Labradoodle

or the Doodleman Pinscher
Unfortunatly I could not find pictures of the Shih-Poo, the Cockapoo, the English Boodle, the Whoodle, the Schoodle or the St. Berdoodle.

I didn't make it up. http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/poodlemix.htm