The jig up at work- they're on to me!  I had the easiest job in ever, for about 8 weeks.  Well, take them as they come, I say.  Easy come easy go.

For the past 6 weeks I've just had to show up for the majority of my work hours- ok there was some button pushing, some watching students push buttons, and a little bit of reading involved, but nothing outside of the work hours, which in absolutely heavenly as a teacher.

They just put it all together and decided that it doesn't take someone with a master's degree to push buttons and do a little bit of reading. (ie they don't have to pay the amount of money they are paying me to push buttons and watch students push buttons.)  Bother.

To top it off I forgot to come to work this morning.  Dang it all!  I was supposed to fill in for the Assistant Director this morning, but I TOTALLY forgot.  I showed up 20 minutes before my class, looked at my calendar and realized I was 40 minutes late for the class I was supposed to fill in for.  I went to the class and all the students were just sitting there, at the computeres- watching Youtube, writing emails, etc.  One said, "We have been alone."  So I went in and told the Director that I'd messed up.  He said, "Well, that just goes to prove that we don't really need anyone for that time slot, none of the students even came to the office to ask where their teacher was."   SNAP!  The students don't even care!

Uh- what does this mean for me?  Well, it could mean far few hours at work.  It could mean that I'll actually have to do "work" at work.  I hope it's the second.  I could stand do some work at work, but no work and no money would be so sad for me.

That dratted Sharpie liquid pencil is mocking and taunting me!

note: Sharpie pencil has terrible reviews on Amazon (where I get all my reviews)  Maybe it's better that we have not found each other.

Alas

I got my teacher evaluations for the Summer.  Generally they are good, of course there are always a few students who could apparently live without me.  I get the feeling they won't be so good for the Fall semester on account of the class I'm teaching is  . . . well . . . sort of boring . . . sometimes.  There's a lot of repetition, and for those of us with the minute attention spans- I can see why they are frustrated with the program.

My favorite comment in Summer evaluations: 
Q:  Did the instructor teach the class in a way that helped you learn?  Please explain. 
A:  Yes.  She did.  She explained the grammar that we didn't pay attention to.

Thank you very much.

Today at the grocery store a guy totally "How YOU doin'"-ed me.  My first thought was "I've been Joey Tribbiani-ed!"  But of course it wasn't a goofy Italian American New Yorker, it was a very large African American Fort Wother- Worthian- Worthite?  Don't know.  Whatever- as always, the brown men love me.  Thank you for your support brown men.

I made oven pancakes today for breakfast.  They looked like slightly over done giant brains, but they tasted pretty good with blueberry syrup.  I got the recipe from a stack of cards and papers I've been moving about with me for who knows how long.  I think I got this card when I bought a whole box of 70s era recipes from Salvation Army.  This one is dated 1975, and is from a collection called "Mainstays Without Meat."

I wanted waffles tonight, but it seems the waffle maker has gone the way of the DVD player and the microwave- so long waffles!  I'll miss you!

Ronald and Nancy Reagan looking too cute with their babies.  Isn't he just so Hollywood? Isn't she TV-land domestic? EEEK!  I love it!
Here's why I notice:
1.  The internet is amazing-obviously
2. I have a follower- I don't know who you are follower (Not Jayme, I know you) this follower is also a follower of another blog- I looked at the other blog which is written by a history professor- who had a post about ugly presidents- he/she said Martin Van Buren was the ugliest present and LBJ was number 2.  I agree about Van Buren- but I'm not convinced about LBJ- so I went looking for ugly on Google.  Instead I found super cute!

Currently reading Julie and Julia which was recently a movie.  She's a salty gal.  Sometimes I read these books and wonder what it is that makes publishers and people think that this piece of writing is something special that will sell.  I don't think this because it is bad or poorly written, but it is basically just a memoir of a Joe-Blow-Nobody.  So this woman decides to cook Julia Child's French recipes all year, and keep a blog about it.  Eh. 

It makes me think that if I decided to do something all year I could write a book about it.  The problems being of course that with my gnat like attention span I don't know of anything that I can commit to for a year and me thinking the whole time, even if I did convince myself to do such a thing, "who cares?!"

Then how much money does one really make on such a venture?  What expectations result from success?  Would they want more?  If I were to write a book, I'm pretty sure there's only one in there.

I've read books about people who read the encyclopedia all year, who lived by all the biblical rules for a year, cooking for a year- auto biographies about childhood, dog ownership, travel adventures etc.  I have a friend keeping a blog about losing half her body weight.  That's determination. First deciding to do such a thing, then keeping up with it by writing about it each day. 

Do I have it? Would anyone (including me) care if I did?  I took a long-long-long test in exchange for writing a Master's dissertation.  What could I do so that I'd have enough material to write a book about it?  I heard a guy talking about taking a job in Antarctica so that when he was done he'd have a bunch of money (since he couldn't spend it in Antarctica.)and he could travel up through South and Central America and then illegally cross into the US, just to see how it felt.  Me: Antarctica?  No- the plan is over.  That's too cold.

Any suggestions- send them my way.

I have a computer in every room. That would be embarrassing if they all worked. The one in my bedroom won’t connect to the internet. The one in the office connects but very slowly. It is also a dinosaur in computer years. The one in the living room is a laptop but I can’t move it around because it has no battery life and the charger doesn’t connect to the computer right, so sometimes it just shuts down when you least expect it. I only use it to watch TV and movie downloads because 1. My TV gets 3 stations, one public television station and two Mexican stations. (Odd since I live about 3 blocks from the CBS tower.) I don’t know if it’s the antenna or the digital converter box that has the problem. I don’t want to buy a new converter box, but I don’t want to buy a new TV if I’m only going to get 3 stations. 2. My DVD player is broken, there is sound, but no picture.

The computer in the dining room is pretty good though.

I plan to get some really long wires to run from the living room into the bedroom and the office so I can have internet everywhere. Yes, technically I have wireless, but obviously it’s not that great if it can’t reach from the living room (which is the only room it will connect in) to the bedroom, just down the hall.

I made some whole wheat bread today. Just another spike in the coffin of the corn industry- ha! I didn’t use any high fructose corn syrup! Like I care.

I think I'm going to knit some corn on the cob, give it a tiny turban, a white 'corn silk' beard, and a itty-bitty bomb belt. I shall call it Al Maiza. It will be a cob bomber.

My microwave died this weekend. What’s up with the dead devices? I actually had to heat my lunch up on the stove! Uhgh! It reminded me of when I was a kid. Being the late bloomers that we were, (I still am) we didn’t have a microwave or a VCR until I was in high school. Awkward. I didn’t have a CD player or a personal computer until after college. I didn’t get my driver’s license or my first car until I was 23. Foolishly I got my license, bought a car and drove across the country in the same month.

Now I don’t have a CD player, a DVD player, or a microwave, but I do have a VCR (that I bought in 1999) and an analogue TV (that I bought in 2004,) four computers and a hybrid car (with which I could drive across the county for $100.) Things have changed some, not much. Guess I should save up the money I’m saving in gas and buy a new microwave and DVD player- and maybe a TV . . .

Student writing: "On the one hand, I was so happy and I wanted to be in convulsions." This student is so descriptive- I love her writing.

I’ve been having trouble getting to sleep the last few nights.  That’s unusual for me, sleep is normally one of the things I rather enjoy.  I would like to say that I was good at it, but the truth is that I’m a terribly light sleeper.  I wake up at sounds, lights, movement.  I wake up for no apparent reason many times a night, to roll over or shift positions.  Generally though, as long as there’s nothing bothering me (externally, like someone snoring, or a bright light, etc) I go right back to sleep.  Same thing at bed time, while I’m not the best sleeper, I generally go to sleep easily enough (given the right circumstances.) 

Ok, it turns out that I’m pretty picky about how, when and where I sleep.  Dang it!

My toilet is burbling.

I’ve started reading a book called New Age Bible Versions:  An Exhaustive Documentation Exposing the Message, Men and Manuscripts Move Mankind to the Antichrist’s One World Religion.  Now, that is a mouthful!  I bought this book at a thrift store several years ago.  It’s basically a “Kings James Only” manifesto.   I got it because I was genuinely interested in why some people insist on KJV only.  Yeah, it does sound cool, but I really enjoy many of the other versions.  I have  a vague idea of how translators and editors come up with different versions, why they have different phrases and grammar structures, why different vocabulary is used when they are all to mean the same thing. 

I wonder what other language has such a lot of Biblical translation versions as English.

I looked up the Amazon reviews on this book before I started reading.  I’ve gotten into the habit of seeing what other people think about a book.  I don’t read many of the reviews, I just look at the numbers.  How many people have reviewed this book?  What are the percentages with 4-5 stars and the percentages with 3 and with 1-2 stars.  This current book, has over 100 reviews split almost perfectly down the middle with 5 stars and 1 stars and just a very few 2-4s.  I read two 1 star reviews.  Those folks sounded pretty informed and said, while it was researched and documented, it seemed more like the author was a conspiracy theorist and if she knew more about  Biblical languages she would be in a much better position to analyze the original material herself and come to more informed conclusions.

I wish I knew more about Biblical languages.  Forgetting sucks, I studied Biblical Greek once . . .

I started reading this book and by the time I got to page 22 I wrote the number 27 at the top of the page.  That is 27 mistakes; grammatical, logical, untruths- not to mention the lies of omition and decontextualization. It was just silly.  I’m not a scholar- but even I could pick out that silliness. I put it down for the night.  I decided to sleep on it to decide if it was worth my time to read it.  (For some reason once a book comes into my possession, I feel obligated to read it.)

This evening I decided to go for chapter two after all.  I’d been writing comments and marking the text with a purple colored pencil as I read last night, I decided I sort of enjoyed arguing with this book.  I haven’t had a good argument with a book in a long time.  It is  introducing many interesting things I didn’t know about as well.  It mentions the names of the manuscripts, church fathers, cult leaders,  Bible version editors, and it does have some very interesting ideas about the coming of the antichrist.  

I've read several interesting book this year- if only the Zombies weren't currently monopolizing my time, I'd have more to say about all those books.

I went to the store to buy veggies and oil.  I bought 3 bags of goldfish crackers.  First because they were on sale, half off.  Second because a serving size if 57.  I want to eat 57 of something and still be in the alloted serving size.

I want a sharpie liquid pencil!

I love Sharpie brand. So what if it does bleed through the paper- it's so vibrant, which makes dull lives more exciting! If that's all it took right?

I'm considering the fact that I may need a satallite radio.

I need to go grocery shopping because I just ate something weird for lunch. Possibly the goal of my diet is "less wierd." That has not been definitively defined.

I think my dog wants to break up with me. Boo! He's been staying with the BF while I was jobless/homeless. The BF has a 'magic door' to the outside, (doggie door)and his little doggie buddy, Louie. I've got a carpet he's not allowed to pee on, no magic door, no Louie, a leash he always has to wear outside, and a box I make him sleep in at night. (It's for his own good.) I think the only reason he comes home with me sometimes is because he likes the car ride.

Buzz come home!

I forgot how long two hours on the same subject with the same students can be . . . this requires a plan of action. I hate it when I bore myself in class.

The weather has changed for a few days- a 'cold front' came in and cooled us down by 20 degrees. Now it's only 90 instead of 109!

Buzz went to the dog park today and didn't bite anybody! That's a big step for him. Not that he didn't want to bite someone, but I talked him out of it each time.

What the heck!
Didn't that dang dentist take all four wisdom teeth?! It feels like there is another one trying to grow in the bottom left! I've been trying to pretend it's not happening, but it's getting harder. This must be a sign of a fifth measure of wisdom which is rarely possessed. Or maybe I just have a gum infection.
I just looked up 'gum pain' and found one dentist suggesting it could be a broken root tip irritating my gum or a 'migrating jaw bone fragment.' Well, I should think not to the latter.

I'm headed to Wal-Mart AGAIN. W-D 40 and hanging shoe organizers.

I officially have internet- ie I'm no longer stealing it from neighbors. I don't know if it's really stealing though if they just leave it lying around for anybody to pick up . . . Of course my internet doesn't work in the office, where the desk top computer is, it only works in the living room, where the ages old lap top is. I'll have to call about that.

I think the rest of August and going forward into the holiday season I need to have a consolidation plan. No more buying stuff, more getting rid of stuff. The problem is that buying stuff is kind of fun. Unfortunately I have lots of stuff I haven't used.

I was considering last night the uncommon pleasure I get from using all of something. Little things like all the ink out of a ball point pen. It's silly, a pen that was probably free- but I feel far more satisfied with a pen that has truly run out of ink than with one that has just stopped working. I like using scraps of fabric and yarn, I love getting to the end of a tube of lipstick, or reading a book and sending it on its way to the next reader. (Although that last one can be kinda sad it if was a really good book.)

So, it's time to see the end of more things. The end of the yards and yards of fabric in my closet, the end of the boxes and baskets of yarn, the end of the collection of make up I've had since the dawning of history. The end of the stack of ESL books, and cook books, and kids books, the end of bags and purses I don't use, shoes I don't wear and clothes that don't fit. The end is near.

Is it just me, or does it look like Little Richard is afraid his face might fall off?

I'm afraid his face might fall off (Tutti-fruity ah Rudy woooaaahhh!)

My summer vacation is almost over! Boo! I was laying in bed this morning thinking about how great it was to have a do nothing vacation. I mean I love a go out and explore vacation too, but when I travel I feel obligated to get up and do stuff I wouldn't normally have a chance to do.

Didn't go anywhere, didn't do anything (except watch the complete season 1 of X-files)

Good-good.

I went to a shop called ‘The Metaphysical Shoppe’ today. I pass it pretty regularly and I wondered what exactly a metaphysical shop sold. Turns out they sell incense. I think the incense burned my nose hairs. After I walked out I could smell incense for two hours. There were all kinds of devilish things in there, pentagram pendants, pagan prayer books, Buddhas and a myriad of Hindu gods. I didn’t feel completely creeped out until I saw the pentagram emblazoned hooded cloaks though. The young man working there was extremely friendly and chatty. He studies anthropology at a local college-blahdy-blahdy-blah. He was an average looking dude, but he had the most amazing color of eyes. They were a beautiful deep green-blue, sort of like the Gulf of Mexico on the south Florida coast. I hope his babies get those eyes.

I’ve been having some strange dreams these last few nights.

I dreamed I was almost attacked by a swamp monster.  It looked like a very large, kinda cute iguana.  I was admiring it as I ambled across a walking bridge over the swamp when it stood up on its hind legs (which were man length) and started coming for me.  Maybe it just wanted to be friends, but when a man sized lizard starts coming at you- well, at least I run for it.  It reminded me greatly of the scenario with the attack squirrel in DC.

I dreamed my boyfriend suggested we get married in Applebee’s.  I said no.  We settled on the ice-skating rink, as long as the swamp monster wasn’t invited.

I dreamed Wonder Woman was originally from the Louisiana swamps.  She just spread the story about being an Amazon because that sounded cooler than being a Cajun. 

I dreamed that I went to a new church and upon entering the church all my (major) faults and mistakes were listed for everyone to hear.  I think I’d rather be in a swamp, with a monster.

I dreamed I ran into an old friend at another friend’s house.  That’s pretty tame compared with the rest.  It did lead to a whole day of wondering about that old friend though . . .  and swamps.

How do dogs know exactly where you don't want them to be?  I have two chairs and a sofa but my little dog and his visiting friend decided to curl up in my seat as soon as I got up.  My stinky little Frito dog will always find the best pillow, the clean clothes basket or my favorite blanket to curl up in/on. 

I love having a kitchen, and a sofa. 

I'm still not finished organizing all my stuff. 

My goal is to use up the stuff I have before I start stock piling goods.  Seriosly, I had four bottles of shampoo when I moved in January.  I still have four bottles of shampoo.  I have alot of hair, but not that much! 

I want to write blogs, but I keep getting distracted by the stupid news stories to be found on MSN.  "Waitress fired for comment on Facebook."  Duh, tard, if you use your company name and insult their customers- it's a safe bet they won't like that.  Prince is being sued for painting his rental house purple, Prince is being sued for canceling a concert in Dublin, Prince is being sued for a multiplicity of other things- sucks to be Prince.

We just finished Testing for the Summer session, TGTO- Thank God That's Over!  It is all computerized testing, and there were literally students in tears screaming at their computers in an effort to complete the test.  Not screaming because they were angry, just in an effort to be understood.  What a mess.

So I was driving the other day, late for a meeting when I heard a loud POP-SMACK-HISS!!!  In the hatchback.  I thought something was going bad wrong with my car- I'd never heard anything like that before, but I'm driving a hybrid who knows what crazy things might happen.   All the hair on the back of my head stood on end- now I know how my dog feels when he gets freaked out. 

Before I pulled over to investigate I realized that one of the cans in the case of sodas I'd bought the day before had exploded.  No problem, I figured it was still in the case, and if the case was right side up, the soda that wasn't on my back window as probably still in the can. 

When I pulled over I realized things had been happening while I was at work.  The temperature has been over 100 all week- all but four of the cans had exploded.  They had exploded out of the case, like rockets, they were all over the back of the car.  The carpet was soaked.  There was diet cherry 7-Up all over the windows, the carpet, the back of the seats.  One can had exploded so hard it scratched the factory tinting off the window.  Not cool.  So, I knew that I had to empty the ones that hadn't exploded so that I didn't get an even bigger mess.  I picked up the first unexploded can.  It immediately exploded all over my shirt.  I emptied out the remainder of the can in the parking lot.  I picked up the second unexploded can, it immediately exploded all over my pants.  I emptied the remainder of the can in the grass.  I picked up the third unexploded can, carefully pointing it away from me.  It seemed a little more stable than the first too, but as I went to press on the tab, the top popped up and jammed my thumb hard, so I dropped it on the ground, and it exploded all over my shoes.  I picked up the forth unexploded can threw it down on the ground and ran away screaming.

Needless to say I did not make it to my appointment.

When I cleaned out the car later I found one can under the front seat- I don't even want to know how it got there.  On a good note I also found a ring I had forgotten I'd lost.

Ok, while confirming that Prius was #60 on the 'stuff white people like' page I misread something and thought it said, 'white stuff people like'  Well, that too would be an interesting list:
1.  Potatoes
2. Rice
3.  Toilet Paper
4.  etc.

AHH!  My blog is working correctly again!

I'm almost done moving everything into my new 'kitchen included' apartment.  It's a 'mixed neighborhood' which means I'm the only one around here driving a Prius, because white people like Priuses (it's # 60 on the list of "Things White People Like.")  I didn't make it up.

I have man furniture, which was cheap so I can't complain much.  Who knows how much flatulence has been absorbed by my reclining sofa and two reclining chairs.  I'm going to Fabreeze them. 

I have a whole room I can't even get into for all the stuff piled in and around it- instead of beginning the the long process of organizing that stuff, I finished my book, My Sister's Keeper, which was tragical. 

Eventually I'll have to buy real sheets and take my sock monkey sheet off my new bed.  The only defect of my new bed is a squeak in one of the legs when I roll over.  Nothing a little W-D 40 can't fix.

The thumping beat of the car base outside my window matches my heart beat- how annoying.

I've got to get a picture of the "OMG Donuts!" sign.

I stapled a camel blanket to my window to block out the security lighting.  I suppose that will eventually go the way of the sock money sheet.  I should grow up and get real curtains. 

I had ice-cream and potato chips and cherries for dinner.  I'm starting a diet Monday.

You spin me right round baby-right-round-round-round.

I'm in la-love with this chair  I've been furniture shopping.  What a hassle.  I've narrowed it down to two living room sets I find acceptable.  And I want this chair.  This chair costs $800- wow.  That's a lot for a chair.  But it is so-so comfy and pretty. 

I was approved for my apartment, move in date Friday. (yeah!)  However, I don't have any furniture except book shelves. 

The only good thing about teaching grammar is that once you understand what you're talking about, there's no prep work.  The problem is trying to understand what you're talking about . . .

I just wrote a long blog about my adventures in apartment hunting, but like many other writings, it is gone in the virtual wind.  My blog still isn't right. 
Summery:
Good news- I think I've found an apartment I like for an awesome price, aside from it being on 'the wrong side of town' I think it will be great.
Bad news- it took a lot of looking to come across a place that seems ok-
The ladies I'm renting from now are super nice, but making me a bit crazy with the minutia- won't be sad to go!

Bowling field trip tomorrow!  'That's like Pow-pow-pow!' (as Usher would say)  What else can you say about 9:00 AM bowling with a bunch of foreign university kids?

Usher has a new song- I don't know what Usher does that makes me like him, but it's something about how ridiculous and at the same time catchy his songs are.

OMG (Oh my gosh)  Why not 'Oh my God?'  I don't know- Is it okay to fornicate, adulterate etc, but he's serious about the first few commandments?  Whatever- I like it.

My favorite part of the lyrics:

I fell in love with shawty when I seen her on the dance floor

She was dancing sexy, pop, pop, popping, dropping, dropping low

Never ever has a lady hit me on the first sight

This was something special; this was just like dynamite

Honey got a booty like pow, pow, pow

Honey got some boobies like wow, oh wow

Girl you know I’m loving your, loving your style 

 I like the use of the past participle.  Past participles need more play time.  I like that use of 'booty' and 'boobies'  together.  What grown man says 'boobies' to the world?  It's good alliteration though.  I like that he rhymed 'pow' 'wow' and amazingly 'style.' That can't be easy on paper.

 

There's something wrong with my blog.  I hasn't let me post for several days now.  It lets me look at other posts, edit other posts, post on other blogs, but to post on this one I have to post an empty post, then go back and edit it.  (and it took me 30 minutes to figure that one out)


I'm trying to complain less, but really sometimes other complainers get on my nerves.  A while back I was watching some news report and the anchor was giving a story about how Americans should be outraged by the fact the US government borrows their over paid taxes all year interest free.  My thought was, 'Why should I be outraged by that?  Shouldn't I be glad to do a little to help my country?"

OK the government isn't perfect- people are corrupt- they try to use you,  sometimes life sucks.  Sometimes you have to complain to be heard, to get what's right done.  Sometimes you need to stop complaining and see what is good- what is valuable- how to be helpful, useful.  Nobody talks about sacrifice-service-patriotism much any more. 

I suppose we're going down America- so we will have lots more to complain about soon.

I have some "Multi-Purpose Bic Wite Out Cover-it-Correction Fluid" here on my desk.  I'm wondering other than actually whiting things out, what other purposes this stuff has.  There are no clues on the bottle.

I saw a church 'garage sale' today so I decided to stop.  In my imagination it was something like the youth group raising money to go on a mission trip and it was a pretty big church so I thought there would be lots of stuff- unfortunatly my imagination was running away with me again.  The church was actually selling their church stuff- chairs and music stands and a communion table . . . that would be a wierd thing to have at home.  When I asked if the church was moving the lady showing me the fridge with the lock on in, which was also for sale, she said, "Yes."  I asked where, but it was like it never happened.  She said, "And this aquarium is for sale too, with the fish!"  Ah- ok.

Since I was hungry and it was next to Star India, formerly my favorite Indian place, I thought I'd stop by there for lunch.  I used to go there alot when I went to UTA.  The owner, or the chipati-man (he's always there- I don't know who he really is) was really friendly with me, in the past.  Today he came out from behind his chipati window and looked at me for a while.  When I finally looked back, he said it had been a long time since I'd been in.  I told him I'd moved. 

Then he said, "Remember five years ago when you told me you were married?"  I said, "No."  He said, "Yes you told me, you were with your friend."  I thought about it, "No, I don't remember saying that, because I'm not married."  He looked at me in a not-so-friendly-chatty-chipati-man  kind of way; like he was mad at me for not being married.  Like, me not being married had ruined his five years.

I thought about saying maybe he had me mistaken with someone else- but then I remembered, if I'm feeling creeped-out by a man (like I was feeling at that moment) and he asks if I have a boyfriend or if I'm married I say "Yes."  Always "Yes."  Ok, so now I do have a boyfriend, so I just say yes to the boyfriend question- but I have had many imaginary boyfriends/husbands. 

It seems that I have too much eye contact and I smile at everyone.  It encourages men.  Heck- I'm not trying to give you a sign- I'm just saying "Hi." 

No more Star India, at least not alone, ok I love samosas, so not alone to dine in.  YOU CAN'T GET RID OF ME THAT EASILY CHIPATI-MAN!

Billie-Jean is not my lover. 

Today is the one year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death, my class watched the Pepsi commercial and the video of BJ.  I asked them if they understood the story of the song, then I had to explain unwed pregnancy and why he couldn't just get a DNA test in 1983.

I fell off my shoes today, in front of a bunch of students.  On the floor, no shoes on.  Weird. Won't wear these shoes again. One student saw me drop my lunch on the floor on Monday and fall today.  She probably thinks that it's amazing I can keep my brain in my head long enough to teach.

I have a mamma size headache and I have to go take an eye exam and get new glasses.

I bought a purple purse yesterday.  It's because I can't convince myself to carry a giraffe purse, even if I do kinda like it.

Mamma-say-mamma-saw-the-ma-coo-saw

I bought a cook book called "Deceptively Delicious" by Jerry Seinfeld's wife.  It is a book about how to hide vegetables in your food so you can't taste them.  She started doing it to get her kids to eat their veggies, but heck, there's nothing wrong with making vegetables delicious for everyone!  Very interesting.  I'm eager to, you know, have a kitchen- so I can try some of the recipes.

a sparrow love story

Things that are green- frogs, peas etc.  This week and weekend I've been making things- green things and sewing things.  I haven't had my sewing machine out in about a month.  This weekend I made four dolls.  I had their little heads cut out, but no little bodies because the pattern I'd been using was difficult to turn right side out.  I modified it to make it easier.  I think they turned out kinda cute for ugly babies.  I restarted another doll as well.  She is from a nut cracker doll pattern, but for whatever reason I decided to cut her fabric out of black with a tan skirt.  I thought I could either change the skirt to black and make her into a witch doll or I could give her the tan skirt and an apron or some other clothes and make her a prairie woman.

Well, my prairie witch  didn't get done, but I now have 4 little green crocheted balls. Depending on how I feel when the 5th one is done, they will either turn into chubby little frogs or peas in a pod or a combination both- I mean like maybe three peas and 2 frogs, not a frog in a pod.  That would be weird. 

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/babylonbeyond/2010/06/saudi-arabia-clerics-call-for-women-to-give-men-breastmilk-to-avoid-unislamic-mixing.html

I have more to say about this . . .

This is my first blog from my desk in my 'office' at work.  So my office is kinda like the break room with shelves all around hiding me from the microwave, but still- whatever.  I have officially been offered a part time position at TCU for the fall.  (Yeah!)  It's 15 hours (20 being full time.) That makes me next on the list if anything else comes up though- so it's all good.  

I gotta get some flair in this place!

At the promise of an actual job- I also look forward to an actual apartment!

Hours past-the summer is looking good for the horned frogs- I've been doing some contract work and some summer work with Texas Christian Univeristy in Fort Worth.  When I found out about the Univeristy of Dallas program closing, TCU was one of the first places I sent my resume.  The director there contacted  me to thank me for my resume and to let me know that they didn't have any openings. 

That was expected at the time as it was in the middle of the year, and most school don't hire until the summer or fall.  In April he contacted me again to let me know he had an outside contract position open and possibly a few summer hours in the regular university program open.  I took the contract and was told I would get 15 summer 1 classroom (one month) hours.  15 became 20, summer 1 got the addition of  summer 3 as well, which led to an addition of summer 2 for 15 hours which became summer 2 for 20 hours and finally an addition of "some fall hours." 

I expect 15 fall hours because one of the teachers recently became the assistant director.  A full time teacher teaches 20 hours a week, but the  assistant direct teaches 5 hours a week, which means there is always at least one part time teacher. 

That's okay though- God has brought me this far.  I know this is a God thing for two reasons:  1.  I was offered the job because someone else got something "better."  I mean I do hope it is always better for the other person- because it wouldn't have been better for me.  I was invited to apply for that assistant director position, but I didn't feel like it would be a good fit for me.  The 2nd thing is that the last thing on my chronological resume is my position as Journeyman with the International Mission Board.  Both the director at UD and the one at TCU have ties with the Southter Baptist Convention and the International Mission Board- possitive ones- so that's great for me!

Fill in the blank:
The news papers and TV reports in Iran are _____________.  The people only get the news the government wants them to know.

Funny answer: sincere
Funnier answer: lousy
Correct answer: censored

I think if a ubiquity of sparrows really came to my door, I would totally Freak Out.

This is my nine hundred and fifty second post.  Terribly exciting to be sure.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Last night I had a dream that I went to church and we opened the hymnal and sang an ABBA song.  In my dream I was wondering if ABBA sang a hymn or if the church included an ABBA song in the hymnal.

People need hope, people need loving
People need trust from a fellow man
People need love to make a good living
People need faith in a helping hand

La la la la, la la la la-la, la la la la la la la-la la la
La la la la, la la la la-la, la la la la la la la-la la laa...

Sang ABBA and the church people in my dream.
---------------------------------------------------------------
I went to church this morning and guess what?!
They didn't sing any ABBA songs.  Drat.

They were all extremely friendly though.  That has got to be the friendliest church I've been to in a very long time.   I think nearly everyone greeted me.  Of course they were all over 65 years old- and there were less then 50 of them.  They seem like a pretty active church and the music minister and the preacher both seemed so earnest in their leadership of the elderly.  I liked it.  I might go back again.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm thinking about taking a dance class for the rhythmically challenged.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I made a giraffe this weekend.  It actually took a long time, but I spent alot of time watching TV/movies on my computer an crocheting that little booger.  I would include a pic. but my camera battery died.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I realized today that the world could be coming to and end and I probably wouldn't know.  I don't have a TV, I don't listen to the radio and if the news isn't flashing on my screen, I don't read it online.   A little over a month ago a woman in the elevator said, "It's terrible!  If I had school aged children in China I'd keep them all home!"  I said, "Oh yeah, me too,"  although I had no idea what she was talking about. 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I remember on 9/11/01 I was driving in Ft. Worth.  I didn't have a radio in my car, so when traffic completely stopped for no reason I had no idea that there was anything wrong with the world other than perhaps a flat tire up ahead.
I was on my way to a meeting at a hotel for a job I had just started.  When I got there I asked about the meeting at the front desk.  The guy said he didn't know about it and pointed at the TV in the lobby.  When I looked at it I saw the Pentagon was on fire.I said, "What's that?"  The guy next to me said, "Saddam Hussein blew up the Pentagon and the Twin Towers."  I watched the footage for about 30 minutes and went home.  Then I watched to footage for the next 3 days.

I worked that job for about a week after that- it was an awful job, and the people I was working with were completely ignorant.
One day one of them told me that she had heard that someone had thrown a smoke bomb into a mausoleum.  I asked her why anyone would do that.  She said it was because they hated Muslims.  I said, "Buy why would they throw a smoke bomb into a mausoleum?  Where there people in there?"  She said, "Oh yes, of course- it was church time."  I was beginning to think it would be easier to hold a conversation with a cat when she said, "You know, Muslims call their churches mausoleums." 
-----------------------------------------------------------------

This post should count as like 6 posts.
-------------------------------------
I'm gonna go get my hair cut.

I've started my summer job at TCU.  I like it alot.  I like the campus, I like the director and teachers- I even like the students.  I especially like the mascot which is the Texas horned frog. 

Texas Horned Frog  

Which, it turns out, is not a frog at all.

just relax- it's what Jesus would do

So I'm pretty excited to  be leaving one job and starting another.  Even though former job is 'long term' and new job is temporary- I get the feeling that it will be so much better.
Old job- sort of willy-nilly -New job- (hopefully) organized and orderly.
Old job- embarrassingly low pay- New job- not too bad.
Old job- cubby mail box- New job- OFFICE!  Wowzers!
Old job- students who come sometimes - New job- students who come or get deported.
Old job- same students all day every day- New job- different students each hour

I'm really hoping for the best for the summer.

In other news- I was at Walgreens the other day buying allergy medicine.  I had been carrying around two allergy pills for months, of course the day after I gave them way I needed them.  I was there to buy allergy meds, but I have a strange affinity for drugstores, so I wandered around the aisles checking things out.  I found these "Fiber Select Gummies"  Fiber supplement. I'll try almost anything with extra fiber.  I'm surprised by how many tasty things have extra fiber these days.  It used to be all "Metamucil Powder" and "Digestive Biscuits." Acutally I didn't mind Digestives, they sound worse than they are.  But Fiber Gummies?  How great is that?  I got them of course, and they really aren't bad.  Each gummy (size shape like the candy "Dots") has 8% of an adult's daily fiber needs. 

In other- other news- I was kind of ticked at work today (old work.)  I think people who don't teach don't understand the amount of time that teachers spend preparing for class and grading what the students have produce to give feed back.  I was told I have 30 minutes per day of paid "prep time."  That's not much.  But I generally use it and come in 30 minutes early each morning.  If I don't come in early, I stay late or take time out of my break.  I'm pretty conscientious about it because I don't want to take my books home. 

I don't always reflect the exact times on my 'time card' because it's always approximately the same and I'm not really into the mathematical requirements of calculating how much I make for each minute of the day and adding and subtracting to get an exact number.  I never felt like I was cheating or taking something I shouldn't.  I was just being flexible.  My boss's boss confronted me today about it.  She said I had written down 9:00 but she saw me come in after 9:00 today.  I probably came in between 9:05 and 9:10.  Close enough I thought since my class doesn't start until 9:30 and most of the students don't show up until 9:45. I'll be doing plenty of work at home and at school getting ready for a final I won't even be there to give. I told her I came in at 9:00 most days and she should change the card if she wants to.  (And I thought -Do you have any idea how much 'prep time' I do away from here?  That 30 minutes is such a small amount of money in the long run that I couldn't care less at this point? What do I care?  I've already given my notice.  I'm out in a few days. Nut-ball. ) I'm wondering if I should give a further explanation to her- but I doubt there will be an exit interview.

After a long day . . . badger-badger-badger-badger-badger MUSHROOM-MUSHROOM! 

It's the little things that can make me happy.

I'm going to be in a wedding on Saturday.  It's Pepto-pink and large scale.  I am one of ten- actually I think I'm ten of ten bride's maids assorted by height.  Ten flower girls, three ring bearers (none of whom will be bearing a ring.)  Over 400 have RSVPed and who RSVPs any more? 

It's my boyfriend's sister and she's really sweet and very kind and inclusive (obviously.)  But at this point I'm so tired of wedding talk I could barf.  (FYI 'barf' means snow in Farsi- yes quite full of trivial info.)

I haven't been in a wedding before because all my friends got married while I was overseas.  I was going to be a  bride's maid in a Micky-Mouse wedding at Disney World, but the groom got amnesia and the whole thing got called off.

That sounds totally made up, but is in fact completely true.

THE NEW LLAMA SONG !!!!!

Badgers

A blog is a funny thing- you never know if anyone is reading it or not.  When I haven't posted for such a long time I'm sure that everyone has given up,  I'm surprised by a random comment.

I've been wanting to blog more these past few months.  I've also been desirous of a desk job.  My last desk job was in India- but that was such  downer I never wanted to blog much. I was in the book store the other day and saw the book No Touch Monkey and thought about my next-to-the-break-patio-cubical. I had a picture of the front cover of that book posted to my cabinet with a sign that said, "Language Monkey" under it.  In case you haven't followed the logic I'm saying that if I had a desk job where I was happy I'm convinced that I would blog more than I do now.

That could be completely untrue- I don't know.

I was watching House a few months ago and there was an episode about a girl who blogged everything.  It irritated her husband, who felt that she was airing all their personal business and relying on her "blog fans" to make decisions instead of making them herself.  My thoughts were, "Wow- blog fans."  and Why do people even care?  That amazes me regularly.  Not just about blogs, but nearly any site where people comment on stuff.  I was looking at a book on Amazon.  Someone had taken the time to rate the book very poorly because she didn't like one of the pictures.  She hadn't bought the book, but she didn't like one of the pictures, so she took the time to rate it.  I'm not sure I've ever rated a book I do own, let alone rate a book I don't own.  It's like reality TV but worse.

Anyway about blogging.  So then I was dis-membering- (no that's not right) un-membering myself from an online group I had joined a few years ago.  Before I left the group I checked on some of the members I used to spend time with (yes it was a meet-up group, where you meet people online, then went to meet them in real life.)  One of the members had a blog listed, so I looked at it.  I read a few no-so-interesting posts and wondered if she was really very private or just boring.  (For myself I admit to quite a bit of boringness.)  A few weeks after that I looked at her blog again and found nothing had been added and I felt sort of ripped off.  Like I went to all the trouble to find that blog again and nothing had been added to it?  Pooh.

Then  I wondered if anyone had ever felt that way about my blog.  They didn't look at it for weeks or months and when they looked again- nothing interesting, or just as bad-nothing at all.

It seems like I have things to say- but then when I have time to write, I have no inclination.

I just finished my taxes.  I've been putting it off since January, and it took all of an hour- tops, to finish.  I was putting it off because I owed last year, and I dreaded to find out if I owed again this year.  This year was more to the point- I got a credit for $145.  Of course it cost $50.00 to do Turbo Tax, so I'll effectively only get back $95, but it's so worth it to not have to do calculations on paper. 

I also just added Pride and Prejudice and Zomebies to my 2010 book list.  I must admit I'm not acutally reading these books.  I'm listening to them.  I drive alot these days and the library has free downloads.  It actually makes me look forward to my morning commute so that I can hear the next part of the story.  All these years I doubted my dyslexic friends, but I admit now, they were right.  Listening to a book is just as good as reading it.

I particularly enjoyed Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.  The origional story has a lot of parts where I would ask myself, "Who cares?"  But, with the added undead action- well it made me chuckle enough to not be bothered about the pages I would have skipped if I had been reading it.

I thought I had read the origional book before, but really I couldn't remember a thing about it except the names of the characters.  Well, it made it more entertaining for me.  I won't tell the story here in case anyone else wantes to be entertained as well.  It does of course have "manky dreadfuls" as well as ninjas and lots of gore and blood.  I think it would made an excellent period film.  :)

No work today- Easter Monday. I slept in- it was great. Then I had some breakfast and went for a walk on the MK trail across the street. It was a nice little nature walk- and the best part was the sense of adventure. Everyone needs a little adventure. I saw a little trail that went off into the woods, so I went to it. The paved part of the trail ended after about 10 feet, a little circle with a plaque and a few benches. Somewhat disappointing, until I saw the unpaved trail off into the woods.

I took it.

Where will it take me? How far does it go? Where will it end up?

I didn't know- that made me happy. I tried to think of the last time I took a trail to which I didn't know the end. I think it was in India- discounting that failed attempt to see 'Car Henge' in Kansas last summer. Well, there was also that creepy yarn store . . . ok so I take a lot of trails into the wilderness.

The MK trail was quite nice, for a time I could hear, but not see the road beyond the trees. I turned and was alone in the woods. I used to walk in the woods with my brother. We would wander for hours picking up rocks and sticks and acorns and pinecones; putting them in our pockets only to forget about them- causing our mother to wonder at the fact her children were trying to bring home the forest in their small pockets. Growing up in Pennsylvania, I have a strict idea of a 'forest.' So, today it was not a forest, not when you can hear the road and see building through the trees, but for a time I could imagine it was-

The wind was blowing heavily through the tree tops and occasionally against my face and the lower branches. The leaves are new and the ground vegetation is sweet and green. Later in this Texas summer everything will turn brown and brittle, but spring in TX is summer in PA. The wild flowers are just blooming, their long stems reaching up to the sunshine.

I walked for about 40 minutes, sporadically coming across a sign "--> Coon Crossing" mixed in with "I am the way" "the truth" and further down the trail, "and the LIFE." I walked until I felt it might rain, I might have walked on for hours or more if I stayed to the trail, and I had some other things planned for the day. When I got off the trail I came to some apartments and some motor homes. This, I believe, is the back of the Wycliff campus. It took about 10 minutes to walk to the front of the campus on the road. I met some little dogs and an old man on the road and we visited like we all knew each other.

It's good to have a day off and a walk in the woods.

After the walk I came in for a rest, ran some errands and started reading about American history in an attempt to prep for a teaching certification test.

I read about the War Between the States and considered how the world would be different if Lincoln had said, "Fine, be your own country!" I thought about those confederate graves I saw in Philadelphia and some other confederates I've met along the way, which put me in the mind of eating some popcorn.

Later I watched some TV and worked on finishing my latest knitting project, which to be honest I'm ready to be quit of, having the attention span of a gnat.

It was a good day.

I finished a doll this weekend. She’s sort of Sally-Nightmare-Before-Christmas-style. She’s got sad eyes and purposefully showing stitches on her hair. Uh- it seemed like a good idea at the time. I realized after I was done that I shouldn’t have done that, as well as that one of the eyes was on upside down hence the sadness . . . These are the trials of doll makers, at least inept doll makers. It does make me want to try it again this time with happy eyes and not-so-Frankenstein-hair.

It’s kind of cloudy in my apartment- I got a little too excited about my ‘Smoking Penguin’ humidifier.

There are egg shells in the bathroom trash- as that is where I cooked the eggs. I have a kitchen/bathroom, which is awkward to say the least. I believe my efficiency would be more efficient if it even pretended to have a kitchenette. I have a standard fridge, a microwave, a toaster oven an electric griddle, and a rice maker. The sink and the most convenient counter space is in the bathroom. It does encourage one to keep it clean- all the time.

Today was the first day of spring. The snow is melting- this winter was crazy! Although, the weather people say there will be lots of bluebonnets on account of all the rain and snow.

I finished DEB’s birthday llama. The hand was a big hit (for some, for others it was just another crazy thing.)

I’m currently working on finishing some PSPs (previously started projects.) Since I finished the doll with such fabulous success-(cough)- I’m now working on Sack Boy. Head, arms, legs- done, body in the works- improvised mouth, sewing together and embellishments to go.

I would make a statement about what I might finish next, but let’s face it, most likely I’ll not be in the mood for finishing any other PSPs after Sack Boy.

. . . Sponge pudding sounds bad enough, but- now they are just making up stuff

I've never been to a Moraccan Bazaar, but I've been to bazaars in other developing countries, and believe me, you do not want your house to smell like raw fish, rotting meat, sweaty men, livestock and fried food (and flowers)

Carnaval- it must smell differnt from Marti Gras- which smells like vomit, alcohol and BO

Other products I've questioned:

Jarred Woopy!

I think that's racist

I know I shouldn't be surprised by anything I find at Wal-mart, but when I saw this magazine- I thought, 'is that really necessary?'

I got a teaching job.  It's almost the same hours as the last job, but at 1/3 the pay I'm just going to pretend it's part time.  It's a small vocational college in Dallas.  I guess they just started this esl program.  Their literature says they have six levels, but it looks like only two to me. 

Somebody quit at the last minute and I got her job.  Strangely familiar.  That's how I got my last job.  It's not alot of work, and I figured I can start my alternative certification while I'm working there.  Along with the unemployment money I'm getting I'm almost up to half wages! (yes I can work and get unemployment at the same time, it's because I'm only working part time and at a much decreased wage) 

I'm going to go look at a tiny appartment today.  It's kind of interesting to be poor- it presents challenges that more people should be prepared to undertake.

I had a weird dream last night- it didn't make any sense, and I don't think I'm supposed to get any realization from it.  Everytime I woke up, I went back to the same dream, which if nothing else was amusing.

I dreamed Dorian was giving some kind of presentation in a mansion.  I don't know if it was a discovery, invention or  informative.  In any event I went with Flossie.  (These are both people I haven't seen in many years)- after the presentation, I left, Flossie stayed to flirt with Dorian.  Dorian left Flossie at the mansion.  He came  to kidnap me and bring me back.  I didn't care about being kidnapped because I was tired, or drugged, or Dorian just wasn't threatening enough to concern me, but it was definatly more of a kidnapping than an invitation. 

When we got back we all (Dorian, Flossie and I) had dinner with his parents.  His parents, however, were actually the Marrses.  After dinner Dorian and I were talking and he told me his name was Japanese and it meant 'three men laying in the bottom of a boat.'  Um . . . ok.  I was skeptical in the dream too.

that's it
weird

I'm going through my old files on my computer- actually I was looking for a picture of a cross stitch sampler I saw online once- don't know what brought that up, but in any event, while I was searching I decided to organize and I found this list.  I can't figure out if I ever posted it, so I'm posting, perhaps again just to be sure.

Random List:

1. When I was a child I was afraid of toilets with black seats and the funnel of water which appears when the water is let out of the tub.


2. Also as a child I was firmly convinced of these things: a. I was born with a bandage on my head b. Dracula ate my Mickey Mouse ring c. I had the ability to hover. I’m still pretty sure Dracula ate my Mickey Mouse ring.

3. I once went to Greece for the weekend.

4. I’ve never been to a funeral of any one I know.

5. I don’t like most kinds of meat, or anything that is pretending to be like meat.

6. I don’t like any food which has been artificially purpled.

7. I don’t eat wiggly deserts.

8. I had to explain what ejaculation was in class yesterday- to a pregnant woman.

9. I was once told I was worth 2,000 camels- seems like a come-on to me.

10. Between 2000-2001 I was accused of being a spy, a smuggler, a bomber and a member of the CIA- deny- deny- deny-deny.

11. I routinely blame the oddities of English grammar on other languages “It’s because this word if French . . .”

12. I was once French kissed by a French man in France.

13. I started knitting a sweater five years ago . . . it’s mostly done . . . (I decided to take it all out and try something new)

14. Ever since I got my nose pierced I have felt I have free reign to pick my nose.

15. I know how to say “Go away fat cow” in Norwegian.

16. I sold Dana Carvey 2 dozen tulips, but I didn’t know it was him until he signed the receipt.

17. When asked by a job interviewer why I thought I was qualified to do the job I said, “Well . . . I’m not stupid.” I got the job.

18. I was almost named Mavis- until my grandmother convinced my mother that it sounded like a female truck driver.

19. Over the course of the year I lived in an upscale section of a large city in India, I saw dogs, cats, chickens, cows, horses, sheep, goats, elephants and one toothless bear in my neighborhood.

20. I once witnessed 16 people get out of a 5 passenger car. They were not wearing big shoes or red noses.

21. My favorite ice cream is Ben and Jerry’s “Chubby Hubby.”

22. I habitually take pictures of signs and other oddities that amuse me- I always have a camera with me.

23. I’m the normal one in my family.

24. According to my astrological chart I am Virgo sun sign, Virgo moon sign, and Virgo ascendant sign. I secretly think I am a Pisces.

25. I spent a week in Scotland imagining every old man sitting behind me on the bus was really Sean Connery.

I went to the National Archives today. It wasn't exactly what I expected, but I did only go to the visitor's center. I was thinking it would be a very large research library with some records I could touch and some that were only for professional fingers in gloves and what not.

I saw some letters written by George Washington, Abe Lincoln etc. They seem to be the most important presidents to speak of around. There were some baby pictures of former presidents- and a video of George W. when he was a baby- kinda cute. There were some old birth records, pretty cool looking. And of course the most important things were the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. The Declaration wasn't looking so good. The lights are very dim to maintain the documents, but considering even that the ink was very faded. The Constitution was looking much more robust.

There were some rent-a-cops standing around looking bored. I had my doubts about the authenticity of those documents. Would they really put those valuable documents under a piece of glass and let anybody walk in and terrorize them? Let's face it the terrorists are pretty sneaky. The guards did make me lift up my pants legs to be sure I wasn't concealing scissors in my socks when I went in. Maybe they are more diligent than they look.

Across the street from the National Archives is the National Sculpture Garden. To be honest I've been pretty impressed with this city, but something was certainly lacking from the National Sculpture Garden. There was an ice skating rink- kinda cool, there was a set of six stone chairs that were alright, the giant spider- sounds cooler than it was, the giant type writer eraser- well I didn't even know what it was- and I'm old so I should know. I imagine younger folks just think it is some random thingy-majig. The best thing for sure was the steel tree.

While in the Sculpture Garden I saw a chubby little squirrel.  It was looking so cute, and I thought about the chubby little birds I had seen yesterday.  I was thinking about other things that were chubby and cute as I walked toward the Museum of Natural History when I saw another cute, chubby little squirrel on the sidewalk.


He looked at me expectantly- I told him I didn't have any food.  I told him outloud, which may have been why the guy walking down the side walk turned and looked at me, not really like I was crazy but more like he thought something funny was about to happen.  I stopped on the sidewalk to take off my bag to get my camera out.  The squirrel came a little closer.  I had my hand in my bag when the squirrel started climbing up my leg. 


I screamed.  The guy on the side walk turned to look at me from about 50 feet away- he was safe.  A woman was walking toward me, she said, "Oh, be careful, they bite."  I said, "AHHH!  It's crawling on me!"  I was flashing through all kinds of bad squirrel scenerios- squirrel bite, squirrel in my bag, squirrel in my jacket, squirrel on my head . . .


I stood very still and the squirrel saw I was more useless than a tree and jumped back to the grass. 

I took a few steps, and thought, "Well, I might as well get the picture now"- and he started coming at me again!  That little demon squirrel!  I told him to back off- took a few more step away, snapped this picture and got out of there quick.


When I got back my friend asked me how it was, I said, "It was really good except for that incident with the squirrel."

I've rediscovered why I decided to not talk too much. People who talk a lot tend to sound so dumb-opinionated, prejudiced, over proud, ignorant, dogmatic.
I have been known to be overly critical.
So I say a lot of dumb things- yeah we all do at times. But I've heard so many dumb things repeated this trip. I just think- really? Sounds like pride in these words of dumb.
"I don't care about history, politics or current events." Ok- some people don't, but they should at least be a little embarrassed to say it out loud.
"I don't want my daughter to marry her black boy friend because I want my grandchildren to look like me."
"Traveling in America is so boring, everyone speaks English."
"Spanish isn't worth learning, everyone in Texas speaks it."
"American English is broken."
Among others-
Not repeated, but a long conversation revolving around:
"I'm pretty smart and athletic- I will marry a woman with mental and athletic prowess so that my children will be superior." Um- sure everyone wants their children to be pretty and smart, and they want to mate with someone who is like them in the things that are important to them, but maybe we don't need to talk about producing superior children to the general public- keep that thought on the inside, or if you want to let it out put it in the correct context. The idealism of this guy was off the charts- I do hope his children are perfect else his world crumble.
Even a fool can be thought wise if he doesn't open his mouth.

I thought she might be an elderly street walker when I saw her come in on the first night. She was wearing white boots, brown stockings, a short black skirt and a white jacket. She changed into her jeans to sleep.

I’ve seen her with a phone to her ear, but I’ve never heard her speak.

Her hair is platinum blonde- helmet perfect- under tucked with combs. She’s painfully thin- what does one politely call that in a woman? Slender, slight – these sound too willowy, supple- too young lithe. She’s bone dry. She only wears black and white. She doesn’t make eye contact. She doesn’t speak. She isn’t spoken to. She doesn’t use the house linen. She has a plastic sheet over her bed. She sleeps on it, always completely clothed. She uses her own blanket and covers her head when she sleeps. Her hair is still perfect when she emerges. She has a duffle bag which looks to weigh more than she does. She’s tall.

Maybe she is sad.

Greg said she was not without graces- she had been practicing her moves in the common room before she set off to a soirée at the French Embassy. She had asked him how he thought she should approach dignitaries.

Maybe there’s a body in that duffle. Maybe she’s a spy. DC has the most spies of any city in the world.

She’s a woman of mystery.

The other one- she’s no mystery at all. If you give her a glance she will tell you everything she knows in English, French and Spanish. Unfortunately, she doesn’t seem to know ever so much other than those languages.

Mysteries are so much better for one’s imagination.

Yesterday in the nunnery one sister asked how old I was. When I told another sister said, "Oh, you're the same age as our Superior General." (the boss-nun) She sounded very surprised at this bit of news. She said¸ "It's not because you look older." (Does she mean I do look older or I don't look older?) She said, "OH! That didn't sound right, it's just the maturity level isn't the same . . . no that's not right either really I mean . . . I'll just stop talking, that's better."

So am I to interpret that as I'm old an immature? From a nun? Nuns don't lie.

In other new- my travel companion told an environmentalist today that she didn't care about the state of our rivers and lakes because she was more concerned about his relationship with God. When the environmentalist said he has a relationship with God my traveler said, "that's good, but a relationship with God is free (while the saving the lakes and rivers required cash.) I'm not going to ask for any money and you can have this (tract)." He took the "Bridge of Life" and said, "Yeah, that's great, unfortunately, saving our environment requires getting the attention of politicians and big business, which requires funds." My companion: "I don't care about that, this world is not eternal." The environmentalist smiled and said thank you.

I sort of felt like apologizing for the attack of the world killing Christian.

He did better than I would have in his situation. I'm for spreading the Word- not for making people feel attacked, not for discounting things that should be important to us, not for neglecting to listen and make relationship with people before we start discussing life altering believe systems, values and life styles, not for shoving little booklets at people and expecting them to care.

This is why I wasn't a good missionary. I'm for building relationship and trust. I'm for asking before lecturing. I'm for listening. I'm for talking about life, religion, ecology, economy or whatever another believes in to understand more about how to proceed. I'm for the long term.

I gave a Bible to one of my students this Christmas. I've known her for more than a year. We've talked about everything. Maybe she will read it. Maybe she won't. I don't know. If she has questions, she knows she can ask me.

If I were that environmentalist standing on a cold windy street corner asking for money from strangers and somebody verbally attacked me, told me (when you get right down to it) my cause was worthless, shoved a tract at me and not listened when I said I was already in relationship, I would have given the tract back, reminded that person of the responsibility we have been given to be good stewards, and been pissed off the rest of the day. Not that that last bit would do any good for anyone, including God.

I didn't say anything. I still have four more days to be with this person- I don't need any conflict.

 

Day two at the convent- today all the nuns went to work and Lis and I were left alone. There was an unexpected schedule change and the Sister we have come to visit has had to spend the majority of her time at school. That is unfortunate, but also good to have some quiet time.

Today I got up around 9:00. I had some breakfast, checked email, posted the short blog. L and I went to the grave yard across the street and checked it out. There isn’t any snow, but it is quite cold, about 28 degrees. It is the yard of a beautiful old church founded in 1772.

I saw lots of very old graves, most of them so worn I couldn’t read the information. There was one monument which was quite nice and well kept. I don’t know how old it was, but it was a set of brothers. All three were born in the Philadelphia area, but all had died in the south at the time of the Civil War. One was a plantation owner in LA, one died in battle in GA and another died in battle in TN. The brother who died in TN was a CSA officer. The monument said the brothers were together and in agreement in life and death. It made me think they were all CSA soldiers. It made me wonder how old that monument was, and if there had been animosity in the family with three brothers fighting for the south. Obviously some family had stayed in PA as well, so what friends and church members thought about CSA soldiers being brought back or at least memorialized here. It seems with so many men dead there would have been some bitterness- but then, with so much tragedy at the time, maybe people were too weary to be bitter any more.

After the church yard we went for a short walk, we stopped and had Chinese food. Authentic Philly-Chinese food . . . well there was the consideration of a Philly-cheese steak sandwich, but for me it would have just been a Philly cheese sandwich- and I image that causes the situation to lose some of its mystique- or whatever.

The Philly cheese steak place was also advertising ‘crab cake hoagies.’ L said ‘Crabcake Hoagie’ sounded like a villain. I thought it sounded more like a pirate (which could also be a villain.) For the rest of the day I was tickled by the idea of a silly looking pirate sailing the seas (and rivers) and pillaging the Philly-cheese-steak-shops . . . ARRR!
When finished with lunch L suggested a ‘rousing nap time.’ I laughed. I don’t usually take naps- but today I did- and it was fabulous- so I decided I could easily slip into the ‘unemployed and loving it’ life-style. Too bad for me I don’t have more people to mooch off of.

This evening was the celebration dinner for one of the Sisters’ 75th birthday. She is apparently a work-a-holic. I didn’t even see her until the dinner stated. They said, “Sr. John, have you met Shannon and L?” She said, “Yeah-yeah- Shannon’s sitting next to me.” When in fact we had not met and I was not sitting next to her. But when you are a 75 year old nun most people just let you say what you want.

It seems Sr. John didn’t want to have a birthday party, so the other Sisters had to plan it for her as a surprise. She was real crabby when she found out more than just the other sisters of the convent would be there and she said, “I didn’t want you to do this because I don’t want what happened five years ago to happen again!” We asked what happened five years ago, but nobody was talking. I expect it involved a lot of alcohol because this 75 year old nun got three bottles of wine and a bottle of Captain Morgan for her birthday.
Over the course of the dinner I learned a few bad words in Polish and a few more in Arabic.

Nuns can be so enlightening.

After dinner we cleaned up and had a prayer time. It was nice- lots of responsive reading type things- we sang a song with the tune of “A Mighty Fortress is Our God” but different words. One of the Sisters (the one who wears Doc Martians) told me about some of the Sisters of her order who had been executed during WWII. I guess I hadn’t thought about Catholics been persecuted and executed, but it seems it was a pretty common practice.
Finally we watched a few episodes of ‘The Cake Boss’ and the news then went to bed. So- off to bed I go, I’m only up now because of the nap.

So- at the convent things are not as a Protestant might have imagined.

1. The nuns were sitting around in their sweats watching NCIS.
2. The Mother Superior is very young- she offered me a beer.
3. The office computer has a dragon, surrounding a ying-yang- backed by flames, which glow when the computer is on.
4. There is a framed poster on the wall that says "Work fascinates me. I can stare at it for hours."

more on that later